Mr Ben's definitions

spanner monkey

A largely useless individual whose only career prospects are to work in maintainence departments painting walls and replacing light-bulbs. May have questionable habits such as an excess love of porn, language that would make a soldier blush and a equally useless son.

"Why can't one of those spanner monkeys come up here to fix the lights?"

by Mr Ben February 8, 2005

Barclay's Banker

Cockney rhyming slang for someone who excessively masturbates, a wanker. Slightly better than calling someone a Gareth Hunt, at any rate.

"Get up the apple and pears, you Barclay's banker! I don't Adam and Eve it..."

by Mr Ben February 11, 2005

mangle

1. A Victorian device used for drying clothes.

2. To wreck or distort by applying force to it. For example, a colleague at work frequently mangles the English language by trying to speak it.

1. "I say, Edward! Have you ran my bloomers through the mangle yet, what?"

2. "I would like one pint of biter peas."

by Mr Ben February 9, 2005

sadsack

An individual whose very presence lowers the tone in the room. Will complain about almost anything and will dress in plain, understated clothes. The human equivilent of Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh.

"Hi everybody. Hope you're feeling better today than I am. Still can't find my Prozac anywhere, I'm getting really worried now. Must the Sun rise every morning in the east? Why can't..." - ad infinitum.

by Mr Ben February 9, 2005

head fuck

The feeling you get when an idea or concept is beyond your understanding. Also used to describe the idea or concept that causes head-fucking.

"You know that painting by Dali with the elephant with the giraffe legs? That gives me a serious head fuck, man."

by Mr Ben February 10, 2005

mumsey

To be over-protective or smoothering of another individual. A mumsey person will not stop to think how mumsey they are - indeed, they will not see how embarrassing or annoying it can be.

"Make sure you've got everything. I've put enough sandwiches in your suitcase to feed a small army and I've squeezed in two thermos flasks of coffee. Don't forget to call us when you ge back! Have you got everything..." - typical mumsey reaction when I return to London after visiting the parents in Norfolk.

by Mr Ben February 8, 2005

goodie-two-shoes

Someone who always does what's right and not what they're supposed to do.

"That goodie-two-shoes grassed up his own mother! The little bastard..."

by Mr Ben February 8, 2005