Monkey's Dad's definitions

hookup

A quaint social custom of the early 21st century in which two strangers agreed to occupy the same room for a period of time. Presently unthinkable.

She could almost remember the last time she had been touched, it was a hookup, when she and the world were innocent and a stranger could be seen as an okay thing, not a possible death sentence.

by Monkey's Dad March 19, 2020

Hoppandemic

The current social, emotional and psychological isolation, brought about by the pandemic, prefigured by American painter Edward Hopper, many decades before the fact.

How had Hopper foreseen it? Isolated souls, trapped in vacant rooms, staring out windows at the empty American landscape, in the grip of a virtual Hoppandemic.

by Monkey's Dad March 20, 2020

Zentriloquism

A deeper level of ventriloquism, in which the Zentriloquist, without a sound, makes a dummy have thoughts he would not normally think.

Vern was not the brightest bulb in the drawer, that was for durned sure, yet for no reason he suddenly thought, "I am one with everything". He noticed the guy with the shaved head, wearing saffron robes, sitting across from him, staring into his eyes and smirking gently. Just might be that Zentriloquism he'd heard about. Then, "I am free from all desire".

by Monkey's Dad December 9, 2023

duover

After a separation, another chance at being a couple.

After so many years as a couple, being alone again was painful for each of them. The endless blind dates and occasional hookups made them feel more alone, rather than less, and left them missing the other. They both wondered what would happen if they tried again, to join forces, to be a pair, to give themselves a duover.

by Monkey's Dad March 8, 2020

French Astronaut

Codeword for a fussy eater.

Named for Frenchman Thomas Pesquet, whose meals in the International Space Station will include lobster, beef bourguignon, cod with black rice and almond tarts with caramelized pears.

"We've got a French Astronaut at Table Seven. Prepare to have everything sent back."

by Monkey's Dad April 25, 2021

Nuclear Family

A family so potentially explosive that no one dares breathe, knowing that a single-word detonation could destroy everyone in its blast radius

They sat at the dinner table, a nuclear family, Mom, Billy and Sue careful to not make eye contact, no one making any move that could detonate their father's explosive rage. Hiroshima would look like a day in the park, in contrast to the inevitable wreckage.

by Monkey's Dad October 7, 2021

documantra

A film which masquerades as a documentary but is actually propaganda, repeating its sole point until it has been drilled into your brain.

Having sat through the six-hour documantra, he now believed that the guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh was indeed an emissary of God, who needed his 91 Rolls-Royces, diamond-encrusted Rolexes and a retinue of young women to sleep with every night.

by Monkey's Dad March 16, 2020