Monkey's Dad's definitions

Clorification

Scrubbing with Clorox from fear of contagion.

In the midst of the pandemic scare, having spent the day with her fingers in other people's mouths, the dental hygienist gave her hands a thorough Clorification.

by Monkey's Dad March 8, 2020

underlying condition

A Covid-denier's first response to hearing that a person has died from Covid-19. Because they absolutely know that the disease is nothing more than a politicized hoax.

"My friend died from Covid."
"She must have had underlying condition."

by Monkey's Dad September 7, 2020

combatibility

The measure of some couples' suitability for each other while shut in together for months.

The stay-at-home order sounded nice, uninterrupted solitude, a luxury they'd never had. Until the 96th night of lockdown when she mentioned quietly that she thought Bill Gates had engineered this whole thing, he went to sleep on the floor, and they were forced to accept their own combatibility.

by Monkey's Dad April 17, 2020

documantra

A film which masquerades as a documentary but is actually propaganda, repeating its sole point until it has been drilled into your brain.

Having sat through the six-hour documantra, he now believed that the guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh was indeed an emissary of God, who needed his 91 Rolls-Royces, diamond-encrusted Rolexes and a retinue of young women to sleep with every night.

by Monkey's Dad March 16, 2020

Gigabug

A multiple of units of coronaviral infection.

Watching the growth of COVID-19 move exponentially, with nothing on the horizon to reverse the trend, the doctor feared that infections would soon be measured by the gigabug.

by Monkey's Dad March 29, 2020

Grindiosity

The delusional projection that one's life is duller and harder than it really is.

His air of grindiosity was betrayed by his three-day work schedule, four month paid summer vacation and that ski chalet in Vail he thought no one knew about.

by Monkey's Dad February 25, 2020

Brazil

Thirty-five years ahead of its time, "Brazil" is a 1985 satirical black comedy directed by Terry Gilliam. Starring Jonathan Pryce, Robert De Niro, Michael Palin, Bob Hoskins, and Ian Holm, it clearly foresees life in 2020, the systemic breakdown of society and its technology, including ubiquitous video surveillance and flawed facial recognition, the hero driving a SmartCar, cops breaking down the wrong door with an endless chain of consequences.

Several times a day, as 2020 limped to its ragged, sputtering, dysfunctional close, he found himself muttering "Brazil"...

by Monkey's Dad December 30, 2020