Monkey's Dad's definitions
He tried to explain to his four-year-old, but the images felt retroscopic - the world healthy and sane, no one afraid to leave their homes, Obama in the White House.
by Monkey's Dad March 15, 2020
Get the retroscopic mug.Grab the money the company offers for lunch, incidentals and travel, because you are grossly underpaid for your talents.
He hadn't had a raise in two years, and was working twice as hard. The least he could do was carpe perdiem.
by Monkey's Dad March 13, 2020
Get the carpe perdiem mug.The intelligence to keep your orifices - nostrils and mouth - covered during a pandemic. Those who deny that Covid exists may refer to it as scoffingly as OI as they wheeze their final breath.
Dismissing Orificial Intelligence, she was, for some reason, on a ventilator. "I mean, Marjorie ain't on no damn ventilator and she wears a mask. Around her neck. And she got real intelligence."
by Monkey's Dad November 22, 2021
Get the Orificial Intelligence mug.by Monkey's Dad June 23, 2020
Get the Twelve again!!! mug."Man, I've been working like a dog", he muttered into the phone, his feet up, eyes on the game, the bag of Doritos on his chest almost empty. There must have been a time, long ago, he imagined, when dogs spent their lives herding cattle from sunrise to sunset, but any actual 21st century dog he knew was lazier than The Dude.
by Monkey's Dad March 1, 2020
Get the working like a dog mug.An extraordinary percentage of the American population was infected, if not yet with Covid, then with vaxxophobia. Sitting glassy-eyed and slack-jawed in front of their TVs, an American vaxxophobe listened to paid performers on Fox and Newsmax, all of whom had been quietly vaccinated, tell them that Covid was nothing but a liberal hoax, that the vaccine would allow the illegitimate Democratic government to take their freedoms and to monitor their location at every moment. If they didn't believe it, they could look it up on their smartphones.
by Monkey's Dad July 25, 2021
Get the Vaxxophobia mug.A texted signal meaning "I'll live".
A silent life-affirmation, a promise of survival from someone who has been injured, is gravely ill, incapacitated or in pain.
A silent life-affirmation, a promise of survival from someone who has been injured, is gravely ill, incapacitated or in pain.
Lying intubated in the COVID ward, she could not speak and had no strength to respond to those who were writing, expressing their concern. To each, she simply texted an olive emoji, and all was understood - "I'll live."
by Monkey's Dad August 3, 2021
Get the Olive emoji mug.