flattering the curve

A presidential projection, meant to flatter himself while flattening the curve, without basis in medical fact.

With his Sharpie he drew a limp line, flattering the curve of new infections.

by Monkey's Dad March 24, 2020

retrotisserie

During a time of austerity and scarcity, the fond recalling of foods you once loved.

Having eaten meagerly for weeks, he tried to conjure the smell of retrotisserie, shared meals from the recent past, now a comforting and beautiful dream.

by Monkey's Dad March 28, 2020

The original is still the greatest

Proven by the endurance of Coke, Levi's, Converse, the Stratocaster, 1964 Mustang, Eames chair, Barbie doll and the Louisville Slugger, all of which have been imitated but never equaled.

After trying on a dozen recently-designed high-tech sneakers, she decided on a pair of classic Converse High Tops - in continuous production since 1917 - suggesting once again that the original is still the greatest and that her level of taste was in a class of its own.

by Monkey's Dad April 30, 2023

social dis-tance

Disrespect for the need for social distancing, conveyed by inadequate intervals.

Nobody was dying, the so-called 'virus' was elite liberal propaganda, and to show his feeling about social dis-tance he was marching shoulder-to-shoulder with other "Reopen America" geniuses, waving swastikas and Trump banners, blocking ambulances, breathing in each others' faces.

by Monkey's Dad April 20, 2020

Mayor Muriel Bowser

Mayor of Washington, DC.

D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser renamed a section of 16th street, in front of the White House, “Black Lives Matter Plaza” and had the slogan painted on the pavement in massive yellow letters to honor demonstrators protesting the killing of George Floyd by police.

by Monkey's Dad June 08, 2020

brashionale

An arrogant and thoughtless excuse for taking risks during coronaviral stay-at-home isolation orders.

"I figured what the hell, there's nobody out, and the liquor store wouldn't be deemed an 'essential service' if they didn't want you to go there", he coughed, his brashionale hard to understand through his labored breathing.

by Monkey's Dad April 05, 2020

market correctional facility

During a market correction, the psychic prison to which those normally on the 'outside' are sentenced. The farther stock prices fall, the smaller, darker and colder their corner offices appear, and the more desperately helpless they feel.

Watching stock prices plunge, for reasons beyond anyone's control, the new prisoner confronted his fear of being forced to live like all the other poor inmates, locked in the market correctional facility for life, his one-percenter's luxuries a fading dream of the golden past.

by Monkey's Dad February 28, 2020