An explanation for your failures, so spectacular that even those you have let down will put their hands together.
Asked why there was no quarterly report, the vp replied, with the straightest of faces, that he had been abducted on his way to the office, given a medical exam by aliens aboard their UFO, and that the alien's dog did actually eat all his paperwork, and he was extremely sorry. An applausible excuse, it seemed, as he got a laugh from the CEO, clapping filled the conference room, and was not fired for two weeks.
by Monkey's Dad March 13, 2020
Get the applausible excuse mug.An action requiring no concentration or cognition. Anything you find yourself doing without questioning whether it is necessary, productive, moral or life enhancing.
Making the bed at ten o'clock at night, knowing it would get messed up again in an hour, was one of the things a person did because they were a person who did things like that, one thinkless task among many, and ain't no use to wonder why.
by Monkey's Dad January 07, 2022
Get the thinkless task mug.Widely-separated, empty locations where people drink alone and share the experience with others over the Internet.
"Come here often?" he said into his phone. "Oh, I'm here all the time", she answered. On his small screen she looked like she was enjoying her Margarita, he told her how great his straight Jack Daniels felt going down, miles apart, each locked in their parallel bars, sharing Happy Hour.
by Monkey's Dad April 03, 2020
Get the parallel bars mug.Two people, each feeling the other as a soulmate, neither able to see how they hold each other back.
Tom had stopped playing the guitar, Susie had dropped out of school, so happy to have found each other that they wanted nothing more than to be together, and all their friends could see they were hindred spirits.
by Monkey's Dad March 03, 2020
Get the hindred spirits mug.A degree of passive-aggressive behavior which has the opposite of its intended effect, making the person appear childlike.
She always waited a few days to answer his texts, thinking that it would hurt him, when it only made her seem passive-regressive.
by Monkey's Dad April 03, 2020
Get the passive-regressive mug.An unintentional distortion of the phrase "spreading like wildfire", which, oddly, is both poetically evocative and accurate in its imagery.
Anne would often say, of a rumor, a fashion or a craze, "it's spreading like wildflower", and he was too impressed by its inner truth and charm to ever correct her.
by Monkey's Dad June 12, 2021
Get the spreading like wildflower mug.Once, the collective representation of acceptable group conduct, now the nullification of group conduct.
In spring of 2020, people the world over were forbidden to gather, instructed to stay away from each other at specified minimum distances. The new social norm during the age of coronavirus was that there was no social norm.
by Monkey's Dad April 10, 2020
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