Monkey's Dad's definitions

PhD from LIU

A Phone Degree from Look It Up.

An education gained not in school but through addiction to the smartphone. The reflex to Look It Up, in the face of any unknown fact, is the giveaway of a 21st century autodidact.

The professor seems to have her doctorate and then some, but watch closely for three minutes and you'll see's got a PhD from LIU.

by Monkey's Dad March 2, 2020

discrushionary income

When the amount of money you can spend any way you want is crushingly little.

Another week without a paycheck, his free-spending days a fond memory, he counted his discrushionary income in the roundest of numbers.

by Monkey's Dad March 16, 2020

The Bridge

An eloquent dream symbol, its crossing an achievement that long felt impossible. "Last night, I dreamed I walked across the bridge", she told him, "all by myself, all the way to the other side of the river."

"I dreamed I walked across the bridge."

by Monkey's Dad January 15, 2023

woemanizer

A man who tries to overcome his sorrow and grief with an unending string of women.

Everyone judged him for the number of women who came into and out of his life. It felt to be the only way he could banish his unremitting woe, from losses and pain he could never share. He was a woemanizer, and he alone understood why.

by Monkey's Dad October 3, 2021

Permababy

A creature, human or otherwise, who retains the characteristics of an infant, no matter how long they have lived.

Yes, we know she looks like a puppy, but she's thirteen - a Permababy.

by Monkey's Dad December 23, 2019

vaccillation

Uncertainty about the value and wisdom of getting a vaccination.

Most people she knew were getting it, but she'd heard one story of a child being paralyzed for life, and she was in a state of vaccillation about whether to allow the immunization for her daughter.

by Monkey's Dad April 11, 2020

from my cold, dead heart

Proposed National Rifle Association slogan.

Faced with the staggering number of American school children and other innocent victims killed by unstable men with military-style assault rifles, reassured yet again that background checks and licensing would not in any way threaten his right to gun ownership, that no one proposed to take away his firearms, he planted his feet, growling his modified NRA non-sequitur, "I'll give up my gun when they pry it from my cold, dead heart."

by Monkey's Dad April 1, 2021