Definitions by Monkey's Dad

Mozombieque 

The geographical root and source of Zombie legends.

Mozombieque is located on the coast of Africa, bordered by Zombia to the northwest and by Zombabwe on the west, all three countries populated by the living dead.

Mozombieque by Monkey's Dad March 12, 2020

postemptive

After the fact. A measure taken in response to something which has already happened. Shutting the barn door after the horse has escaped. The opposite of preemptive.

"Would it seem postemptive if I wrote a letter of resignation?"
"They fired you last week."
"Yeah, well..."

postemptive by Monkey's Dad March 11, 2020

epidemonology 

The study of who and what gets blamed for an epidemic.

Whether it was the complacent president, a de-funded response system, or simply "Patient Zero" who got off the plane from Beijing, coughing, epidemonology would inevitably follow.

epidemonology by Monkey's Dad March 11, 2020

I candy 

The narcissistic response to one's own appearance.

Addicted to her beauty, she was either taking selfies or looking for any reflecting surface, needing the I candy.

I candy by Monkey's Dad March 11, 2020

eloqwince 

The involuntary cringe when you realize you found the exact words for what should have gone unspoken. Often accompanied by a palm to the forehead.

Here it came again, the eloqwince in the night, remembering his superbly witty toast to the happy couple. Had he really made that joke about his history with the bride? How much would a one-way ticket on the space shuttle cost, he wondered.

eloqwince by Monkey's Dad March 10, 2020

artistic license 

Any choice made in the production of anything the artist calls art.

"So I took a bit of artistic license, okay? It's called "Queen Kong Lear", about an apewoman who feels unloved by her sons. If Shakespeare were alive today he'd totally love it."

artistic license by Monkey's Dad March 10, 2020

boregasmic 

A woman's summation of her split-second lovemaking with a man possessing no clue as to her anatomy, her appetites, her capacity for pleasure or how to provide it.

She had barely gotten started and he was done, she thought, staring at the ceiling. Another boregasmic sprint to see how fast he could roll over and fall asleep.

boregasmic by Monkey's Dad March 9, 2020