Mike Payne's definitions
After days of his wife's pleading to have another child so McGruff would have someone to play with, Jason grabbed a 30-pack out of the fridge, picked up the keys to his tractor, and told his wife to go get a turkey baster baby.
by Mike Payne April 3, 2008
Get the turkey baster baby mug.We thought Laurie's face was bright red because she had been fake-tanning again. However, upon stepping out into the front of the office it was apparent that Jason delivered another old squeaker.
by Mike Payne May 2, 2008
Get the old squeaker mug.After a weekend of moving fishtanks, hunting goats, and breaking deaf girls hearts, Jason turned into quite the tuna smuggler.
by Mike Payne March 11, 2008
Get the tuna smuggler mug.Scratches and dents that appear on a car after driving through a wooded area without concern for wildlife.
While driving through the woods with a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other, Jason felt a bump and hoped that his insurance covered deer dents.
by Mike Payne May 16, 2008
Get the deer dents mug.Jason pulled over and offered to help a woman whose car broke down. After staring down her shirt the whole time she was checking the oil, he said "It looks like there's a problem with your womb socket. I ain't no mechanic, but I'd sure be happy to take a look."
by Mike Payne May 5, 2008
Get the womb socket mug.by Mike Payne March 6, 2008
Get the switch mug.When a woman is so bitchy you want to smash her face in the couch cushion and press as hard as you can while slam fucking her in the ass as hard as possible
by Mike Payne June 11, 2008
Get the cushion burner mug.