8 definition by Meatman

Top Definition
The act of having sexual intercourse with a member of the melon family such as a Canteloupe or Honeydew. A hole is drilled in the rind of the melon and it is heated in the microwave to the appropriate temperature.
I caught Hank Melon Balling the students watermelon out by the dumpster this morning. Needless to say, I don't think he should be teaching here any more.
by Meatman January 15, 2006

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A male who is so self-concious of his penis size that he opts to use a Dildo to satisfy his lover and pass it off as the real thing. The dildo is often kept in the underpants of the male on the evening that sex is expected. When the female is ready for sex, the male says that he needs a drink of water before he starts, and proceeds downstairs where he can heat the dildo either in the microwave, or with a lighter. Doe Pokers can be identified by their dislike for oral sex and their insistence on fornicating in the dark.
I thought Brian was hung like a Black Ox, but it turns out that he is nothing more than a Goddamned Doe Poker!
by Meatman January 15, 2006

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A sex act originating in the Pittsburgh area in which a female with braces is grabbed by both ears and guided through fast paced oral sex.
Dude, I could really go for a Pittsburgh Plowmouth right about now!
by Meatman January 11, 2006

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A sex act in which the man just before climax, removes his penis from the vagina. He then proceeds to run to the female's panty drawer to open it, and ejaculate inside.
Brian is such a jerk, he tripped and fell on his way to give me a top drawer deposit.
by Meatman January 15, 2006

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A sex act in which prior to ejaculation, the male removes his penis from the vagina, opting to run over and ejaculate on the T.V screen belonging to the female.
I wish we could watch the Gilmore girls, but Brian messed up the screen with his falling star.
by Meatman January 15, 2006

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A sex act in which prior to ejaculation, the male removes his penis from its current position and inserts it into the ear of his partner dispersing his ejaculate deep into the ear canal. A stiff blow to the ear after climax imbeds the semen deep in the ear and has become almost a routine practice in finishing.
I may not have my M.D., but I am more than qualified to perform an east coast ear exam.
by Meatman January 11, 2006

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A dinner without any meat.
Accessory Dinner = salad
by meatman November 08, 2012

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