A situation where streets have been subject to so much traffic calming modification (eg fences, traffic lights, one way streets) that it is impossible to get to the place you want, even though you can see it clearly.
Tourist: "I want to go to that shop but there's nowhere to cross the street."
Local: "You can't get there from here. You have to go back the way you came to the traffic lights, cross over to the other side of the street, walk back this way, go past here, then three blocks down there's a pedestrian crossing, cross back to this side, and head back down this way."
Tourist: "That's ridiculous!"
Local: "Yeah, but what can you do?"
by Matti! Matti! Matti! January 16, 2013
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Ugly Day

A day on which all the people one meets are unattractive, despite the odds which say that half the people one meets will be attractive.
You're lucky you stayed home: it was Ugly Day at the gym today!
by Matti! Matti! Matti! November 20, 2010
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The 3M Rule

A method by which one can evaluate a man for hotness, the rule consists of three parts: 1 man, 1 minute, 1 metre. One man because many men confuse the senses, one minute to allow the surge of hormones to subside, one metre because everyone looks better the further away they are.
I thought he was a total fox but it must've been my beer goggles because when I got up close and used the 3M Rule, I realised that he was a dog!
by Matti! Matti! Matti! January 19, 2011
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crymaxing

To cry while masturbating because one is thinking of one's ex.

From cry + climax.
From reddit: "My girlfriend is going to break up with me in 5 hours from now."

–remotepath 105 points 16 hours ago
please masturbate, it clears your head

–mf4633 59 points 15 hours ago
one caveat: don't think about her when you're doing it

–speedstix 33 points 10 hours ago
crymaxing is never good.
by Matti! Matti! Matti! November 24, 2011
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cashed-up

v. having a lot of cash to spend.

Usually referring to "cashed-up bogans": members of the great unwashed who have come into money and are moving up in society by buying a house in a more upmarket suburb. Unfortunately, you can take the boy from Balga, but you can't take Balga from the boy.
The cashed-up bogans are taking over the neighbourhood: it's time to move house.
by Matti! Matti! Matti! November 21, 2010
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Recovering American

An American who has been living in another country long enough to understand that/why the people in that country feel antipathy toward Americans, and is modifying their behaviour/educating themselves to overcome those deficiencies.

From the phrase "recovering alcoholic".
No, it's all right, you can invite Crandall to Grandpère's birthday: he's a recovering American.
by Matti! Matti! Matti! January 04, 2011
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nanna

1. n. Grandmother.
2. adj. Anything that is appropriate for grandmothers, eg early sessions. Also, anything similarly suitable for old people rather than young people.
A: "Are you going to the midnight session of the fireworks this New Year's Eve?"
B: "Nah, I'm baby sitting so it's the nanna fireworks for me."
by Matti! Matti! Matti! November 30, 2010
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