Matti! Matti! Matti!'s definitions

no-boner

A woman/gay man who is sexually off-limits. The restriction is self-imposed.

Includes victims of trauma (eg was recently assaulted), sexually transmissable infection, bro rules (eg your bro's sister but you can't contact him to get permission), psychopathy (eg "sex-is-love" disorder).

From the word form "no-brainer"

Bambi was looking totally hot last night but she was on her rags so it was a total no-boner.

by Matti! Matti! Matti! January 4, 2011

Ugly Day

A day on which all the people one meets are unattractive, despite the odds which say that half the people one meets will be attractive.

You're lucky you stayed home: it was Ugly Day at the gym today!

by Matti! Matti! Matti! November 22, 2010

Clipboard of Power

A derogatory term for the petty bureaucrat's badge of office. It is held close to the chest and carries papers with information that is jealously guarded. It allows access to sensitive areas and gives the bearer authority to pry into the work being done by others. Often used for micromanagement and the application of "bureaucracy gone mad".

Line up your pencils everyone! Here comes Snottynose Snivelson with his Clipboard of Power.

by Matti! Matti! Matti! October 13, 2012

Guerrilla Weeding

Inspired by the Guerrilla Gardening movement, it is a way to improve a neighbourhood by entering public and private gardens and performing any kind of maintenance that is required, such as weeding, pruning, and thinning. If one already has the tools, it is a zero-cost activity that can be done at any time.

Granddaughter: You were a long time on your walk, Grandma.
Grandmother: Yes, dear, that's because I was Guerrilla Weeding the neighbour's garden. They really need to look after their gypsophila better.

by Matti! Matti! Matti! August 12, 2012

circumsuction

To stand in one place while vacuuming in a circle around you.

Some people like to vacuum in straight lines but I prefer to circumsuction.

by Matti! Matti! Matti! November 9, 2010

nanna

1. n. Grandmother.
2. adj. Anything that is appropriate for grandmothers, eg early sessions. Also, anything similarly suitable for old people rather than young people.

A: "Are you going to the midnight session of the fireworks this New Year's Eve?"
B: "Nah, I'm baby sitting so it's the nanna fireworks for me."

by Matti! Matti! Matti! December 1, 2010

The Ranga Queen

Julia Gillard, current prime minister of Australia and a redhead, thus the most powerful ranga female. A satyrical reference to a ginger takeover of the country.

Did you see the Ranga Queen on TV last night? I'd tap that.

by Matti! Matti! Matti! May 21, 2011