Matti! Matti! Matti!'s definitions

The Ranga Queen

Julia Gillard, current prime minister of Australia and a redhead, thus the most powerful ranga female. A satyrical reference to a ginger takeover of the country.

Did you see the Ranga Queen on TV last night? I'd tap that.

by Matti! Matti! Matti! May 21, 2011

circumsuction

To stand in one place while vacuuming in a circle around you.

Some people like to vacuum in straight lines but I prefer to circumsuction.

by Matti! Matti! Matti! November 9, 2010

pestrian

A pedestrian who disobeys the road rules, causing you to swerve to avoid hitting them.

I can't believe she just walked out into the road like that! Bloody pestrian!

by Matti! Matti! Matti! November 22, 2010

Ugly Day

A day on which all the people one meets are unattractive, despite the odds which say that half the people one meets will be attractive.

You're lucky you stayed home: it was Ugly Day at the gym today!

by Matti! Matti! Matti! November 22, 2010

cashed-up

v. having a lot of cash to spend.

Usually referring to "cashed-up bogans": members of the great unwashed who have come into money and are moving up in society by buying a house in a more upmarket suburb. Unfortunately, you can take the boy from Balga, but you can't take Balga from the boy.

The cashed-up bogans are taking over the neighbourhood: it's time to move house.

by Matti! Matti! Matti! November 23, 2010

constipatience

To become resigned to the fact that you won't be able to defecate until your colon decides it's ready to.

Patient: "I took the laxatives you gave me but I still haven't been able to go to the toilet."
Doctor: "Well, your bowel will evacuate when it's ready. You'll just have to learn constipatience."

by Matti! Matti! Matti! May 15, 2013

you can't get there from here

A situation where streets have been subject to so much traffic calming modification (eg fences, traffic lights, one way streets) that it is impossible to get to the place you want, even though you can see it clearly.

Tourist: "I want to go to that shop but there's nowhere to cross the street."
Local: "You can't get there from here. You have to go back the way you came to the traffic lights, cross over to the other side of the street, walk back this way, go past here, then three blocks down there's a pedestrian crossing, cross back to this side, and head back down this way."
Tourist: "That's ridiculous!"
Local: "Yeah, but what can you do?"

by Matti! Matti! Matti! January 15, 2013