Matti! Matti! Matti!'s definitions

Ugly Day

A day on which all the people one meets are unattractive, despite the odds which say that half the people one meets will be attractive.

You're lucky you stayed home: it was Ugly Day at the gym today!

by Matti! Matti! Matti! November 22, 2010

Japocalypse

The events in Japan following on from the earthquake of 11 March 2011, ie earthquake damage, tsunami damage, nuclear power plant damage, volcanic eruption, missing trains, massive destruction and climbing death toll.

From "japan" and "apocalypse".

Man, all they need are zombies and the Japocalypse would be complete.

by Matti! Matti! Matti! April 1, 2011

Guerrilla Weeding

Inspired by the Guerrilla Gardening movement, it is a way to improve a neighbourhood by entering public and private gardens and performing any kind of maintenance that is required, such as weeding, pruning, and thinning. If one already has the tools, it is a zero-cost activity that can be done at any time.

Granddaughter: You were a long time on your walk, Grandma.
Grandmother: Yes, dear, that's because I was Guerrilla Weeding the neighbour's garden. They really need to look after their gypsophila better.

by Matti! Matti! Matti! August 12, 2012

woman

Female. Instead of being used as a noun (A woman with red hair) it has become and adjective, used as "lady" once was (A lady doctor).

Julia Gillard is Australia's first woman Prime Minister.

by Matti! Matti! Matti! January 20, 2011

The Deep North

The northern latitudes of Australia. States in the Deep North are generally poorer, hotter, more humid, more conservative, and more prone to cyclones than its more poleward cousins. In the USA, this would be called the Deep South.

A: "I can't believe my fellow Queenslanders voted against gay marriage."
B: "That's what you get when you live in the Deep North."

by Matti! Matti! Matti! September 12, 2013

Clipboard of Power

A derogatory term for the petty bureaucrat's badge of office. It is held close to the chest and carries papers with information that is jealously guarded. It allows access to sensitive areas and gives the bearer authority to pry into the work being done by others. Often used for micromanagement and the application of "bureaucracy gone mad".

Line up your pencils everyone! Here comes Snottynose Snivelson with his Clipboard of Power.

by Matti! Matti! Matti! October 13, 2012

lifestyle vampire

A person who is quiet and subdued when on their own, but comes alive when around other people, feeding off the energy of their social interaction or the event they are attending.

A: "Went rafting today which is fun but going out and doing stuff like that is always funner when you have people to share it with."

B: "Are you like me, a lifestyle vampire? You exist on your own, but you live when you're with others."

by Matti! Matti! Matti! October 6, 2012