Skip to main content

Matti! Matti! Matti!'s definitions

procrasturbake

To waste time baking, especially treats like cupcakes, instead of being productive. From procrasturbate.
I should be writing my final essay but I think I'll procrasturbake instead.
by Matti! Matti! Matti! June 29, 2011
mugGet the procrasturbakemug.

Orphan's Christmas

A standard Christmas celebration held by people who aren't able to be with their birth families because they are overseas or have a difficult relationship with their family.

Often used by people who have been disowned by their parents, such as homosexuals who have escaped their conservative, small-town upbringing and moved to the more open-minded city.
"Tell everyone there's an Orphan's Christmas at mine this year. Bring a plate and the booze is on me!"
by Matti! Matti! Matti! November 25, 2011
mugGet the Orphan's Christmasmug.

crymaxing

To cry while masturbating because one is thinking of one's ex.

From cry + climax.
From reddit: "My girlfriend is going to break up with me in 5 hours from now."

–remotepath 105 points 16 hours ago
please masturbate, it clears your head

–mf4633 59 points 15 hours ago
one caveat: don't think about her when you're doing it

–speedstix 33 points 10 hours ago
crymaxing is never good.
by Matti! Matti! Matti! November 24, 2011
mugGet the crymaxingmug.

you can't get there from here

A situation where streets have been subject to so much traffic calming modification (eg fences, traffic lights, one way streets) that it is impossible to get to the place you want, even though you can see it clearly.
Tourist: "I want to go to that shop but there's nowhere to cross the street."
Local: "You can't get there from here. You have to go back the way you came to the traffic lights, cross over to the other side of the street, walk back this way, go past here, then three blocks down there's a pedestrian crossing, cross back to this side, and head back down this way."
Tourist: "That's ridiculous!"
Local: "Yeah, but what can you do?"
by Matti! Matti! Matti! January 15, 2013
mugGet the you can't get there from heremug.

The 3M Rule

A method by which one can evaluate a man for hotness, the rule consists of three parts: 1 man, 1 minute, 1 metre. One man because many men confuse the senses, one minute to allow the surge of hormones to subside, one metre because everyone looks better the further away they are.
I thought he was a total fox but it must've been my beer goggles because when I got up close and used the 3M Rule, I realised that he was a dog!
by Matti! Matti! Matti! January 20, 2011
mugGet the The 3M Rulemug.

Guerrilla Weeding

Inspired by the Guerrilla Gardening movement, it is a way to improve a neighbourhood by entering public and private gardens and performing any kind of maintenance that is required, such as weeding, pruning, and thinning. If one already has the tools, it is a zero-cost activity that can be done at any time.
Granddaughter: You were a long time on your walk, Grandma.
Grandmother: Yes, dear, that's because I was Guerrilla Weeding the neighbour's garden. They really need to look after their gypsophila better.
by Matti! Matti! Matti! August 12, 2012
mugGet the Guerrilla Weedingmug.

woman

Female. Instead of being used as a noun (A woman with red hair) it has become and adjective, used as "lady" once was (A lady doctor).
Julia Gillard is Australia's first woman Prime Minister.
by Matti! Matti! Matti! January 20, 2011
mugGet the womanmug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email