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Matti! Matti! Matti!'s definitions

crymaxing

To cry while masturbating because one is thinking of one's ex.

From cry + climax.
From reddit: "My girlfriend is going to break up with me in 5 hours from now."

–remotepath 105 points 16 hours ago
please masturbate, it clears your head

–mf4633 59 points 15 hours ago
one caveat: don't think about her when you're doing it

–speedstix 33 points 10 hours ago
crymaxing is never good.
by Matti! Matti! Matti! November 24, 2011
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The 3M Rule

A method by which one can evaluate a man for hotness, the rule consists of three parts: 1 man, 1 minute, 1 metre. One man because many men confuse the senses, one minute to allow the surge of hormones to subside, one metre because everyone looks better the further away they are.
I thought he was a total fox but it must've been my beer goggles because when I got up close and used the 3M Rule, I realised that he was a dog!
by Matti! Matti! Matti! January 20, 2011
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Guerrilla Weeding

Inspired by the Guerrilla Gardening movement, it is a way to improve a neighbourhood by entering public and private gardens and performing any kind of maintenance that is required, such as weeding, pruning, and thinning. If one already has the tools, it is a zero-cost activity that can be done at any time.
Granddaughter: You were a long time on your walk, Grandma.
Grandmother: Yes, dear, that's because I was Guerrilla Weeding the neighbour's garden. They really need to look after their gypsophila better.
by Matti! Matti! Matti! August 12, 2012
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no-boner

A woman/gay man who is sexually off-limits. The restriction is self-imposed.

Includes victims of trauma (eg was recently assaulted), sexually transmissable infection, bro rules (eg your bro's sister but you can't contact him to get permission), psychopathy (eg "sex-is-love" disorder).

From the word form "no-brainer"
Bambi was looking totally hot last night but she was on her rags so it was a total no-boner.
by Matti! Matti! Matti! January 4, 2011
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circumsuction

To stand in one place while vacuuming in a circle around you.
Some people like to vacuum in straight lines but I prefer to circumsuction.
by Matti! Matti! Matti! November 9, 2010
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cashed-up

v. having a lot of cash to spend.

Usually referring to "cashed-up bogans": members of the great unwashed who have come into money and are moving up in society by buying a house in a more upmarket suburb. Unfortunately, you can take the boy from Balga, but you can't take Balga from the boy.
The cashed-up bogans are taking over the neighbourhood: it's time to move house.
by Matti! Matti! Matti! November 23, 2010
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nanna

1. n. Grandmother.
2. adj. Anything that is appropriate for grandmothers, eg early sessions. Also, anything similarly suitable for old people rather than young people.
A: "Are you going to the midnight session of the fireworks this New Year's Eve?"
B: "Nah, I'm baby sitting so it's the nanna fireworks for me."
by Matti! Matti! Matti! December 1, 2010
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