A day on which all the people one meets are unattractive, despite the odds which say that half the people one meets will be attractive.
by Matti! Matti! Matti! November 20, 2010
When a (usually) woman equates sex with love, thinking that because a man had sex with her, it means that he loves her. In men, it is often a nerdy type who has sex out of his league and turns into a total obsessive. Is often the trigger for stalkerish behaviour.
by Matti! Matti! Matti! January 04, 2011
An alternative collective noun for a shuffle of bureaucrats, specifically those with some sort of auditing task. Inspired by their flocking behaviour and use of clipboards as a work tool. Derogatory.
"Better sort out those paperclips, Bob; the Department of Clipboards is just getting out of the lift."
by Matti! Matti! Matti! May 06, 2012
Female. Instead of being used as a noun (A woman with red hair) it has become and adjective, used as "lady" once was (A lady doctor).
by Matti! Matti! Matti! January 19, 2011
To become resigned to the fact that you won't be able to defecate until your colon decides it's ready to.
Patient: "I took the laxatives you gave me but I still haven't been able to go to the toilet."
Doctor: "Well, your bowel will evacuate when it's ready. You'll just have to learn constipatience."
Doctor: "Well, your bowel will evacuate when it's ready. You'll just have to learn constipatience."
by Matti! Matti! Matti! May 16, 2013
A standard Christmas celebration held by people who aren't able to be with their birth families because they are overseas or have a difficult relationship with their family.
Often used by people who have been disowned by their parents, such as homosexuals who have escaped their conservative, small-town upbringing and moved to the more open-minded city.
Often used by people who have been disowned by their parents, such as homosexuals who have escaped their conservative, small-town upbringing and moved to the more open-minded city.
"Tell everyone there's an Orphan's Christmas at mine this year. Bring a plate and the booze is on me!"
by Matti! Matti! Matti! November 25, 2011
A derogatory term for the petty bureaucrat's badge of office. It is held close to the chest and carries papers with information that is jealously guarded. It allows access to sensitive areas and gives the bearer authority to pry into the work being done by others. Often used for micromanagement and the application of "bureaucracy gone mad".
by Matti! Matti! Matti! May 06, 2012