To waste time baking, especially treats like cupcakes, instead of being productive. From procrasturbate.
by Matti! Matti! Matti! June 29, 2011

A derogatory term for the petty bureaucrat's badge of office. It is held close to the chest and carries papers with information that is jealously guarded. It allows access to sensitive areas and gives the bearer authority to pry into the work being done by others. Often used for micromanagement and the application of "bureaucracy gone mad".
by Matti! Matti! Matti! October 13, 2012

A person who is quiet and subdued when on their own, but comes alive when around other people, feeding off the energy of their social interaction or the event they are attending.
A: "Went rafting today which is fun but going out and doing stuff like that is always funner when you have people to share it with."
B: "Are you like me, a lifestyle vampire? You exist on your own, but you live when you're with others."
B: "Are you like me, a lifestyle vampire? You exist on your own, but you live when you're with others."
by Matti! Matti! Matti! October 06, 2012

When a (usually) woman equates sex with love, thinking that because a man had sex with her, it means that he loves her. In men, it is often a nerdy type who has sex out of his league and turns into a total obsessive. Is often the trigger for stalkerish behaviour.
by Matti! Matti! Matti! January 04, 2011

by Matti! Matti! Matti! November 22, 2010

To become resigned to the fact that you won't be able to defecate until your colon decides it's ready to.
Patient: "I took the laxatives you gave me but I still haven't been able to go to the toilet."
Doctor: "Well, your bowel will evacuate when it's ready. You'll just have to learn constipatience."
Doctor: "Well, your bowel will evacuate when it's ready. You'll just have to learn constipatience."
by Matti! Matti! Matti! May 15, 2013

The events in Japan following on from the earthquake of 11 March 2011, ie earthquake damage, tsunami damage, nuclear power plant damage, volcanic eruption, missing trains, massive destruction and climbing death toll.
From "japan" and "apocalypse".
From "japan" and "apocalypse".
by Matti! Matti! Matti! April 01, 2011
