MathPlus's definitions

Supreme Shit

The stools of Dictator Kim Jong Un, who is always accompanied by portable toilets to prevent any poo divers from analyzing them, lest they give away rich information about his poor health condition.

Unconfirmed reports hint that the Trump-Kim meeting nearly got aborted when young Dictator Kim refused to let President Trump use one of his toilets lest his supreme shit get contaminated with that of an old white man.

by MathPlus June 15, 2018

Trum-pi-st

Someone who preaches that pi is a rational number, or a ratio of two integers, although mathematicians had proved moons ago that it is irrational—for example, evangelicals or QAnonists profess that π = 3; blue-collar workers proclaim that π = 22/7; and morally bankrupt Republican lawmakers protest that π = 314/100 or 3.14.

Trum-pi-sts hold on to their position faithfully, steadfastly, or politically regardless of the evidence or despite the facts.

by MathPlus January 5, 2021

Mortal Mask

A mask brushed with toxic chemicals on the inside that is offered to unsuspected or innocent strangers, who would lose consciousness once they wear it at the request of their evil donors, who would then rob their victims.

At secluded traffic junctions, it’s not uncommon for criminals in police uniforms to stop a car whose driver and fellow passenger are both unmasked, who would be handed a pair of mortal masks to wear before they’re allowed to drive off.

by MathPlus April 13, 2021

f-mail

An email that the sender forgets to include the attached file meant for the recipient.

This week only, President Trump sent three f-mails to his administration, with zero apologies to his puzzled staff—it looks like his digital assistant Siri only executed the first part of his request.

by MathPlus October 4, 2018

Covidom

When an inmate’s last day coincides with the last day of the country’s lockdown, which makes them feel like they are experiencing double freedom as they enter their next phase of their life.

Don scribbled tally marks on the prison’s wall to count down the days to covidom.

by MathPlus May 14, 2021

Pitoid

Short for “Pi Factoid.” Tidbits or juicy bits about the number π that seldom make it to the side pages of math textbooks.

Some examples of pitoids are:
a) In a mathematical beauty contest, the number π would be the Miss Universe among the constants.
b) Aliens are more likely to communicate to earthlings in terms of e, i, and π rather than 0 and 1.
c) No number in popular culture is more famous than π.

by MathPlus October 19, 2021

Zeromeracy

When someone is at home with the oft-counterintuitive properties or numerical idiosyncrasies of the number zero—for example, although zero is neither positive nor negative, it behaves like an “even number.”

To appreciate the power and beauty of Calculus, one must be able to understand zero and to learn to live with it, because if zero is let loose, one can only expect chaos from the numerical troublemaker—one needs to be versed in zeromeracy to tame the “infidel number.”

by MathPlus January 6, 2019