Choking the bandwidth

When you hog up all the internet bandwidth from streaming all that 4K anal porn

*webpage takes a long time to load*
Dad (yells across bedroom): Son, are you choking the bandwidth again?
Son (yells back): Uhhh no..... what makes you think that?
Dad: Oh nothin', just a hunch...

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian August 31, 2019

Woody Allen

Something that—on one side—looks to be true, actually isn't. And what doesn't look to be true, is—on the opposite side—actually true.

In other words, a paradox of truths where either both sides are right or none are right.

Dude 1: Yo Tim just pulled another Woody Allen when his girlfriend caught him making out with another chick at the party and he got away with it
Dude 2: That lucky bastard

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian June 02, 2020

alpha male

A man who leads with intellectual wisdom and altruism, not with physical strength or gallantry.

Jesus, Aristotle, Gandhi, Einstein, and Nikola Tesla are examples of an alpha male.

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian February 07, 2022

Rule 319

Rule 319 states that:

a) everything and anything is bound to be connected or affected by the coronavirus in some way.

b) for every community of a specific topic/interest on the internet, there will eventually be discussions pertaining to the coronavirus.

Dude 1: Yo if you search literally anything and put "coronavirus" at the end, there's gonna be at least something related to it.
Dude 2: LOL holy shit ur right, I just searched pornhub and coronavirus and there's actually news about that
Dude 1: Rule 319 man

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian April 11, 2020

Cowlicker

Someone whose hair's cowlicks is incredibly obvious

Hey, look at that cowlicker over there, they should really use a haircut!

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian February 21, 2023

Doubletext

When you are messaging someone back and forth and while you are writing a response their last message they send another message on a different topic. You realize the second message requires a completely separate message to answer so you quickly finish your initial response and send it. Then as you start typing the second message the other person reads the message you already sent then proceeds to write a message back, ignoring the second topic of conversation as if he or she were talking to someone else. You respond in the same fashion and the two of you have two separate messaging conversations at the same time until some point one topic is dropped or the messaging ends altogether.

Example of a doubletext:
You: Want to see a movie later?
Me: Sure, what film?
Me again: Did you hear that our company is upgrading our work computers?
You: How about 'Spaceballs?'
You: Yeah dude, I could finally run some Crysis on there!
Me: Meet you downtown around eight?
Me: And yeah lol

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian June 26, 2021

1940s

Quite possibly the darkest decade of humanity. The onset of WWII really brought out the sheer brutality of human nature. Millions of unspeakable violent atrocities were committed by men who weren't even "evil".

The 1940s also marks the onset of the baby boomers, who were raised with traditional and conservative beliefs/principles.

Friend: Name which decade of the last century you'd least want to live in?
Me: The 1940s

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian January 26, 2020