Shart

When you push too hard to fart and end up shitting your drawers.
Shart philosophy seen on bathroom wall:

Here I sit all broken hearted, came to shit but only farted.
Then one day I took a chance, went to fart and shit my pants.
by Markwonder March 18, 2011
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Jellybeans

Small, sugary jelly-like candy. They are shaped like small beans and come in many flavors and colors. They are somewhat harder than gummy bears. They are also very popular with the children around Easter.
Jellybeans are a lot like people. Nobody likes the black ones.
by Markwonder November 15, 2010
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Law of wrong way

The law of wrong way states that: "While driving in the city, any missed or wrong turn and subsequent backtracking to find your original route will be met by frustratingly slow moving traffic and red lights at every intersection.

Many, if not all of these red lights will be Full-cycle red lights."
While trying to find the corporate building downtown, I missed my turn and ended up backtracking an extra 3 miles, through 4 busy intersections, while following two old ladies, a Vespa scooter and a garbage truck. The law of wrong way was in effect.

Needless to say, I missed the Boss's luncheon and didn't get the promotion. FML.
by Markwonder October 28, 2010
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Marriage

The point at which the friendship with your sweetheart ends and becomes a business relationship.

The point at which you stop having fun and take on responsibility for yourself and your new wife.

The end of your life as you once knew it.
Marriage is a lot like playing cards.

You start out giving a heart and a diamond, and end up wishing for a club and a spade.
by Markwonder January 11, 2011
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Redneck Doorbell

The truck's horn. Lets your date know that you're sitting out front of the trailer waiting to pick her up.
Jimmy used the redneck doorbell to let Charlene know he was out front waiting to take her to the Dairy Stripe.
by Markwonder November 27, 2010
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Hate

Usually an emotion expressed by those on the left of the political spectrum when they are confronted with an opinion or a situation that goes against their beliefs or ideals.
Hate towards Miss California Carrie Prejean because of her opinion on gay marriage.

Hate towards our men and women in uniform defending this country, especially anytime a Republican is in the White House.

Hate towards anybody making a decent living for themselves.

Bristol Palin's success on "Dancing with the Stars" brought out the worst kind of liberal hate.
by Markwonder December 11, 2010
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Nigger Chuckle

A type of laugh common amongst Africans. The nigger chuckle is generally performed while holding a loose fist to the mouth followed by a few subtle short laughs then by three or more rasping utterances produced in the back of the mouth.
1. Example Nigger Chuckle: Yo. Treon say Chiante bref so bad dat he din't know whether to offer her a tic tac or toilet paper! Heh, Heh, Heh, chhcckkk, chhcckkk, chhcckk!
by Markwonder September 20, 2011
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