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Mark H's definitions

forrest gump

British sort of rhyming slang term used in place of "dump" when someone says "I gotta go take a dump."
I'll be back later mate. I've got to go take a Forrest Gump.
by Mark H June 25, 2004
mugGet the forrest gumpmug.

riding the magic bus

To be completely under the effects of any strong hallucinogenic drug, such as LSD(i.e. acid) or mushrooms. When you are riding the magic bus, you are so tripping out, that you are able to hallucinate beautiful women in place of what in reality, are women who are tore up or broke down.
When Nick D was relaxing on his bed during an acid trip, he suddenly found himself actually getting laid by a very hot voluptuous bitch who just busted into his room. But unfortuantely, Nick D was so riding the magic bus, as he did not realize he was actually bumping uglies with an ugly, wrecked, hoodrat hoochie mama cheese hog skank!





Mark H. Contributing to the drug abuser's slang vocabulary since February 2004.
by Mark H October 19, 2004
mugGet the riding the magic busmug.

asstronomer

A proctologist who is so very into his profession, quite likely because of himself being gay.
God I went to the proctologist today and man, he wouldn't finish checking my ass for 6 hours already! What an asstronomer! Next time I go see a proctologist, I should ask him if he's gay or else if he is I won't let him examine my ass.
by Mark H June 11, 2004
mugGet the asstronomermug.

from Hell

Similarly used as "of doom," the phrase "from Hell" is an add-on that signifies what's wretched, horrible, abysmal, very bad, awful, infernal, etc. about something.
Getting his candy bar taken from his pocket by some brat kid. Then, getting his apartment burglarized. Then, getting erectile dysfunction while having sex with his very hot girlfriend. Then, getting dumped by his girlfriend. Then, getting dumped on by a flock of seagulls afterwards. Then, flunking the SAT. Then, getting fired from his job. Then, realizing he was too broke to pay his bills. Then, being forced from his apartment. Then, knowing that his mom had died from a heart attack. Then, knowing that his dad also died in a construction yard accident. Yep, for Mike that certainly was the day from Hell.

Oh, and I almost forgot to mention this as the closing finale to his day. Then, going back from the local bar to his cardboard shack in the alley wasted with the Virgin Mary wearing a bikini top and miniskirt and then waking up the next morning naked next to the disgusting 400-pound demonic beast-woman from Hell.





Mark H. Proud UD author since February 2004.
by Mark H August 21, 2005
mugGet the from Hellmug.

pro-condom slogans

Catchy advertising slogans to use to promote the sale of condoms.
You can't go wrong if you shield your dong!

Before you deck her, cover your pecker!

While she gets in heat, package your meat!

Before undressing Venus, dress up your...

...you know what.

*rimshot*
by Mark H June 17, 2004
mugGet the pro-condom slogansmug.

lagasse alarm

It doesn't just have to be semen, it can be any liquid or powdered substance. Salt, pepper, sugar, hot sauce, anything goes.
The USMC drill sergeant has just woken up an oversleeping cadet by setting off the Lagasse alarm, throwing pepper on the man's face.

"BAM! Wake up, maggot! Just who the hell do you think you are? Rip Van Winkle? Get up, take a shower, dress up, and catch your sorry carcass up with the rest of the others who are apparently better evolved primates than you are! Yeah!"
by Mark H July 11, 2004
mugGet the lagasse alarmmug.

logrolling

Masturbation. Exclusively masturbation of men or boys, since "log" is another word for penis.
Phone sex convo between two gay male politicians:

Gay Politician 1: Maybe later we can go back to my place and I can take your census.
Gay Politician 2: Only if you'll filibuster.
Gay Politician 1: Reapportion me, baby
Gay Politician 2: Oh I'll do it, you carpetbagger.
Gay Politician 1: Porkbarrel me!
Gay Politician 1: There's some logrolling going on... IN MY PANTS.
Gay Politician 2: You want PROPORTIONAL REPRESENTATION?
Gay Politician 1: I think I have a majority of your ass.
Gay Politician 2: Oh man, I think I just lost my seat.
Gay Politician 1: I'm about to incumbent!
Gay Politician 2: Errg. Oh YEAH! This session of congress is now over.
Gay Politician 1: Care to adjourn, then?
Gay Politician 2: I just did.
Gay Politician 1: Can we call a special session?
Gay Politician 2: As long as you give me your soft money.
by Mark H August 17, 2004
mugGet the logrollingmug.

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