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MagickDio's definitions

Hold Your Tongue

1) Ridiculous old-school talk which means "Don't say anything". It's right up there with "Pick your feet up", "Pull your socks up", "Hold your horses" and "Sleep tight". These are also phrases which, if taken literally, would be amusing viewing.

2) A cautionary comment to a bloke who may be considering sex with a woman whose disease status is unknown, but looks rife. (Condoms won't help if you're making oral contact with females, kids. They're not magic.) It obviously means "Don't go down on her, you'll get herpes"
1) "My mummy says you're a harlot"
"Hold your tongue, Julia! And pick your feet up!"

2) "Right, I'm leaving now. Guys, this is Kelly"
(gestures to bleach blonde wearing velour tracksuit and giant hoop earrings, chewing gum and smoking at the same time)
"Alright, but Dave? Take this durex and for the love of God, hold your tongue"
by MagickDio April 27, 2010
mugGet the Hold Your Tonguemug.

Winter Tears

When the cold weather or a gust of wind forces your eyes to water and hot tears to spill down your cheeks, prompting people to ask "What's the matter?!"

Winter Tears could be an acceptable to use if you don't actually want people to know you're crying. However, during an episode of genuine Winter Tears, there are those that won't believe you weren't sobbing. Thus, the Winter Tears phenomenon is dreaded by young males.
"What's the matter?"
"Don't worry, it's just winter tears"
by MagickDio September 22, 2011
mugGet the Winter Tearsmug.

Big Jazz

1) A sarcastic term used to describe something or someone that others clearly thinks is great, but is actually fairly sub standard. (Not unlike a lot of jazz)

2) A description for the fuss people make about something that's hardly worth mentioning. (Like the latest jazz album.)
1) "I got a new puppy!"
"Big Jazz! I got a new shotgun. Shall we get the two of them together?"

2) "So the bride walked down the aisle and everyone went "Ahhhhhh". All I could think was- "Big Jazz... she looks like an iced gem."
by MagickDio April 19, 2010
mugGet the Big Jazzmug.

Automophile

The person we all know who practically pants with lust when they're waiting to cross the road because someone drove by in a very fast car.

They like to talk about cars, buy magazines about cars and watch cars on eBay that they have no intention of buying, just to see how much it goes for. They normally have at least one poster of a car in their home, and will regularly show you a picture or YouTube clip of the car they dream of owning one day. They scoff at the speed limit, have at least three points on their driving license and watch Formula One as if it's actually interesting.

These people are awful. Jeremy Clarkson is an example of a famous automophile.
Ugh, Clarkson. What a pleasure it would be to kick that self loving automophile in the balls.
by MagickDio July 12, 2011
mugGet the Automophilemug.

Religious Tea

Has been made since the dawn of time. The method is unchanged, and widespread, from Catholics to Muslims. Every holy meeting will serve this drink.

You take an urn filled with enough water for 20 people and heat it to a stage that is beyond scalding. You then add enough tea leaves for perhaps 2 people and leave it to stew. When the time comes to drink it, serve it in fragile cups with a handle that heats up to the temperature of the liquid. Despite the fact that the drink is horrible, people will drink it and smile sweetly. You can't turn down tea served by a holy person. It's one of the rules of life, along with "you can't hit an old person" and "you can never bollock someone elses kid for being a little shit"

Religious Tea in a CofE church hall comes with a massive side of sympathy that you didn't ask for, and didn't need. You will have your arm touched and rubbed by old ladies and will be called a "good girl/boy"

Religious Tea in a Catholic church hall comes with a side of wrath and hellfire and possible eternal damnation for thinking that you don't like the tea. You may even have to confess if you don't finish it.

Religious Tea in an Adventist church hall comes with a side of awe and wonderment at the marvellous ways of God and sheer admiration that He saw fit to give us tea to drink.

Religious Tea in a Mosque comes with a side of dynamite and optional pre- packed rucksack and train ticket
"Would you like a cup of tea?"
"Oh, yes please Vicar"

(aside)- "Damn, I fucking hate Religious Tea"
by MagickDio March 17, 2010
mugGet the Religious Teamug.

Priestly Fuck

1- An act of intercourse where the male involved seems completely switched off from the idea that the woman is meant to be getting pleasure, and instead simply gallops towards the semen depositing finale. It leaves the woman feeling like she may as well have been elsewhere. This is a priestly fuck, as one imagines that's exactly how a priest would do it- with as little extra contact as possible so as to make it less of a sin.

2- That guy who disapproves of everything you do that he can't, much like a priest does. He's the bloke who feels it necessary to make himself look better than you by reacting with disgust and incredulous disbelief when hearing of your exploits. He's a priestly fuck, that one. He probably wanks and cries over tales of his mate's debauchery.
1- "I thought you liked Tim, why did you split up?"

"Well, he was a good guy outside of the bedroom, but once we got in there, he subjected me to the most priestly fuck ever, and didn't show any interest in trying again. It's over."

2- Tom- "So I shagged them both. You only live once, right?"

(The assembled mates laugh and agree, gazing at Tom in awe. All except for one.)

Ross- "You ought to be ashamed of yourself"

(Ross gets up and goes to the bar, shaking his head and tutting. The men sit and reel in disbelief)

Tom- "Priestly Fuck!"
by MagickDio May 20, 2010
mugGet the Priestly Fuckmug.

Estevezed

1) To have the fact that you are worthy of notice totally eclipsed by a drunken, marauding family member who everyone seems to love, despite the fact that they're a sure candidate for the fires of hell. Comes from the glaringly obvious fact that Charlie Sheen gets way more publicity for being a cock than Emilio Estevez (his well behaved, better acting brother) gets for being a decent bloke!

2) When you're constantly asked by your family members just why you cannot be more like your law abiding sibling, you're being estevezed, as one imagines Charlie Sheen must be- constantly.

3) When a celebrity who has done something worthwhile is thrust out of the media spotlight by a fame hungry, coke snorting, binge drinking whore's most recent bender.
1) I'm sick of being Estevezed by my crack dealing older sister.

2) I'm happy living in a burnt out car, ok?! I don't want a nice house and nice kids like my brother, I'm sick of being Estevezed by you guys!!

3) Prince William's wedding is likely to be Estevezed by Jordan and her ilk.
by MagickDio April 2, 2011
mugGet the Estevezedmug.

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