1) A person who is selfish and behaves like an idiot
2) A person who is greedy with their masturbatory habits. A selfish wanker will steal a communal porn collection, steal the only box of tissues remaining in the house, even steal a picture of your own dear mother to wank over. They care nothing for the feelings or masturbation plans of others. They will even turn up late to meetings and dates because of their five knuckle shuffling, but will never ever call and explain the delay. Wanking will always come first to these people. A truly selfish wanker will even prefer the touch of their own hairy palm to the touch of another human being.
2) A person who is greedy with their masturbatory habits. A selfish wanker will steal a communal porn collection, steal the only box of tissues remaining in the house, even steal a picture of your own dear mother to wank over. They care nothing for the feelings or masturbation plans of others. They will even turn up late to meetings and dates because of their five knuckle shuffling, but will never ever call and explain the delay. Wanking will always come first to these people. A truly selfish wanker will even prefer the touch of their own hairy palm to the touch of another human being.
Steven is a selfish wanker. He sent his girlfriend out to the strip club with his mates so that he could stay in and abuse himself alone.
by MagickDio September 04, 2010
A state of order and cleanliness that is barely passable. If your teeth have been brushed for approximately 15 seconds, the front part of your hair has been messily styled, and your shirt has been dragged out of the washing basket and febrezed, consider yourself "man tidy." If your living room has floor debris and unidentifiable matter pushed under the sofa, empty lager cans lined up on the coffee table and a light layer of dust covering every surface, consider it "man tidy." If you're a woman and you keep your affairs in such disorder, then grow some ovaries and pick up a duster.
There are males that walk among us that have shrugged off "man tidy" and all its associated mingingness, yet we shall refer to these individuals as Gods, because they are so very rare and breathtaking.
There are males that walk among us that have shrugged off "man tidy" and all its associated mingingness, yet we shall refer to these individuals as Gods, because they are so very rare and breathtaking.
"Hold on, let me just run in and do a quick spot check. Greg was off work today, so I left him in charge of the housework. It'll probably be man tidy in here"
by MagickDio May 19, 2010
Either the most infuriating or the most outstanding oral sex technique. A slow job is a blow job at quarter speed. If you've got a guy with his hands restrained, a slow job might just be the most fantastic genital to mouth contact he's ever had. We'll call this Scenario A. Taunting, teasing, with plenty of eye contact. That guy will be completely under the spell of the sexual partner for the entire session. Not so if the male has just simply been promised a blow job. Then a slow job is tedious, and will make the blowee hate the blower a little bit and either wish they'd hurry the fuck up or pack it in altogether. Scenario B sure sucks, but not in a good way.
Can have consequences, such as spontaneous grabbing of the head and savage thrusting into the mouth, leading to potential teeth scraping injuries, possible gagging and dirty looks exchanged for weeks to come. However, the male should remain blameless for his reaction, as inexpert slow jobs are a form of torture, and not all men are trained to deal with that.
Slow jobs should only be attempted by those capable of making scenario A a reality, or those fully prepared to accept the aforementioned consequences of Scenario B.
Can have consequences, such as spontaneous grabbing of the head and savage thrusting into the mouth, leading to potential teeth scraping injuries, possible gagging and dirty looks exchanged for weeks to come. However, the male should remain blameless for his reaction, as inexpert slow jobs are a form of torture, and not all men are trained to deal with that.
Slow jobs should only be attempted by those capable of making scenario A a reality, or those fully prepared to accept the aforementioned consequences of Scenario B.
"I had the best slow job last night. I was handcuffed to the banister and she just spent a good half an hour at least on sucking my cock. It was legendary"
"I had the worst slow job last night! She said she was going to give me a BJ, so I thought I'd have cum by the time NCIS started. But no. It went on and fucking on, and I got bored and grabbed her head to finish it quicker. She bit me and called me a prick. Worst slow job EVER"
"I had the worst slow job last night! She said she was going to give me a BJ, so I thought I'd have cum by the time NCIS started. But no. It went on and fucking on, and I got bored and grabbed her head to finish it quicker. She bit me and called me a prick. Worst slow job EVER"
by MagickDio April 19, 2010
The tense game played by couples who have been together long enough to feel true rage. You'd think that "fuck" would always be the chosen option, but sometimes bringing someone else to tears is more sastisfying than orgasm.
Stress is building, and you're pretty sure it's all down to your significant other. They are looking at you as if they want to see you disembowelled. From this point in, it's simple. You're either going to tear strips off each other and compete over who can shout the loudest, and who can dig up the most dirt to sling at the other- ie "Ruck", or you're going to lunge for each other and tear off each others clothes and shag like the world is about to end- ie "Fuck"
Ruck or Fuck, amigo. You decide.
Stress is building, and you're pretty sure it's all down to your significant other. They are looking at you as if they want to see you disembowelled. From this point in, it's simple. You're either going to tear strips off each other and compete over who can shout the loudest, and who can dig up the most dirt to sling at the other- ie "Ruck", or you're going to lunge for each other and tear off each others clothes and shag like the world is about to end- ie "Fuck"
Ruck or Fuck, amigo. You decide.
"He'd come home drunk, because he said I was doing his head in, and then he started yelling at me for giving him "evils" and speaking to me like I was a kid....it was ruck or fuck, mate"
"And? Which one was it?"
"Ruck!! There's no way I'm letting him speak to me like that!"
"Bad choice. I'd have chosen fuck.....always choose fuck!"
"And? Which one was it?"
"Ruck!! There's no way I'm letting him speak to me like that!"
"Bad choice. I'd have chosen fuck.....always choose fuck!"
by MagickDio April 02, 2010
A person who tells you things which are a total waste of your time, or whines and complains at you. Forcing you to hear things you don't want to hear means they are virtually raping your ears with their words.
Tyrone will never be invited to another dinner party after he complained about every dish served at Sheila's. Then he told everyone about the time he met Sting. Now warnings have been issued about him being an ear rapist.
by MagickDio August 10, 2010
1) Horny teenage couples in their droves flock to McDonald's for cheap, disgusting "food" every weekend. Sometimes, dipping the fries in those nasty little ketchup tubs gets too sexually suggestive for them, and they head off to the toilets to bang each other. They think it's risque, but almost everyone in McDonald's has no soul and no shame; their faces are deeply buried in greasy, supersized crap, so they barely notice the kids sneaking off for a McFuck.
2) McDonald's employees that are shagging at work are "McFucking". Presumably, the experience of being "Mcfucked" would lead to some serious "McShame", but as afore mentioned, those that spend large amounts of time in McDonald's have no souls, or personalities for that matter.
2) McDonald's employees that are shagging at work are "McFucking". Presumably, the experience of being "Mcfucked" would lead to some serious "McShame", but as afore mentioned, those that spend large amounts of time in McDonald's have no souls, or personalities for that matter.
"Shall we go to McDonald's and get a McChicken Sandwich? We could sneak off for a quick McFuck too, if you wanna?"
"Norman and Shirley were McFucking at the end of last night's shift. I only noticed because I'm new here and still could go to heaven"
"Norman and Shirley were McFucking at the end of last night's shift. I only noticed because I'm new here and still could go to heaven"
by MagickDio March 07, 2010
1) Discarded, half eaten kebabs that are strewn through the streets near bars after 2am at weekends.
2) Oral sex performed on someone in a park/carpark/shop doorway. A person does not necessarily have to be a tramp to perform or receive Tramp Nosh but it is reasonable to assume that at least one participant may be, due to the scabby choice of location.
2) Oral sex performed on someone in a park/carpark/shop doorway. A person does not necessarily have to be a tramp to perform or receive Tramp Nosh but it is reasonable to assume that at least one participant may be, due to the scabby choice of location.
1) "I can't eat this doner, I'm gonna puke. Do you want it?"
"Nah, throw it down, man. Let it become tramp nosh."
2) Claire regretted her choice to remain sober and be the designated driver as soon as she approached her car and noticed, all too clearly, the gentleman reclining against it, recieving an enthusiastic tramp nosh from a woman in pink pvc and hair glitter.
"Nah, throw it down, man. Let it become tramp nosh."
2) Claire regretted her choice to remain sober and be the designated driver as soon as she approached her car and noticed, all too clearly, the gentleman reclining against it, recieving an enthusiastic tramp nosh from a woman in pink pvc and hair glitter.
by MagickDio July 07, 2011