MagickDio's definitions
the clever, muscular contractions of the vagina that a woman who is an awesome fuck can effect. A squeezing, rippling sensation is felt on the penis, usually resulting in gasping and moaning from the lucky gent, and sometimes, uncontrollable jizzing and mumbled apologies.
by MagickDio February 4, 2010
Get the Gash dancemug. 1) When you slink off to secretly have sex with someone you shouldn't. Usually because you or they are in a relationship. Someone who stealth fucks is usually a stealthy fucker, and you can recognise them by the fact that they melt into shadows and you don't see them for hours.
2) When either or both parties are unsure if penetration has occured; a situation that only occurs with very loose women or very small men. Will always occur when the two are put together. Stealth fucking of this kind is often coupled with the question- "Is it in yet?"
2) When either or both parties are unsure if penetration has occured; a situation that only occurs with very loose women or very small men. Will always occur when the two are put together. Stealth fucking of this kind is often coupled with the question- "Is it in yet?"
1) "Jake's gone again! He was just here! Call his mobile. What? Switched off, eh? Bet he's gone off for a stealth fuck"
2) "Julie needs to tone up. I'm not satisfied with this stealth fucking nonsense"
2) "Julie needs to tone up. I'm not satisfied with this stealth fucking nonsense"
by MagickDio March 2, 2010
Get the Stealth Fuckmug. A more accurate name for the menstrual cycle in highly strung females. A lot of women will simply get on with it, however there are a significant proportion that just go full on fucking crazy. Experiences vary, but phrases such as "DON'T speak to me like that!!" and "Oh, well why don't you just fucking LEAVE if I'm so hard to live with!!" are common.
Men are expected to accept this, or they will suffer horribly. These women use the fact that they are menstruating, have just menstruated or are about to menstruate as a kind of "get out of jail free" card, which leaves them free to be psychotic bitches without fear of reprisal, which makes people hate them more and more all month long.
As a bystander to this train wreck, expect screeching, expect tears, expect no sex and expect to want to kill someone more than you ever have before.
Men are expected to accept this, or they will suffer horribly. These women use the fact that they are menstruating, have just menstruated or are about to menstruate as a kind of "get out of jail free" card, which leaves them free to be psychotic bitches without fear of reprisal, which makes people hate them more and more all month long.
As a bystander to this train wreck, expect screeching, expect tears, expect no sex and expect to want to kill someone more than you ever have before.
"John, do you wanna go do something?"
"Daz, it's midnight! What do you expect us to do?"
"I don't care, my missus is in the middle of her Mental Cycle, so if I don't leave the house, I'll kill the bitch in her sleep"
"Daz, it's midnight! What do you expect us to do?"
"I don't care, my missus is in the middle of her Mental Cycle, so if I don't leave the house, I'll kill the bitch in her sleep"
by MagickDio March 6, 2010
Get the Mental Cyclemug. People that try to make christianity "cool" often refer to Jesus Christ as "J.C". It's an attempt to suck in as many kids and sinners as possible, owing to the fact that chavs and skanks have been naming their kids with just initials for the last 20 years. There is a handful of C.J's, A.J's, D.J's, J.D's and M.J's in every community. The J seems to be the key letter here. And claiming that they're on a "team" makes the possibility of hooliganism seem way more likely. Obviously, the idea is that the idiots will all flock to those on "Team J.C" thinking that they will be having an excellent time with a cool person if they join them.
What they do get is as much religious tea as they can drink, a few dry biscuits, people with soft and weak voices telling them that God loves them all and possible molestation and inappropriate behaviour from the Vicar and/or Choir Master.
They tend to recruit in non confrontational ways, like going up to some kids in town and asking them if they're having a good day, or on their way to a party before they give them a leaflet.
Those in charge of "Team J.C" can often be heard saying things like, "You know what, gang? It's prayer time! Come on, let's give it up for the Lord!" or even "Paper chains ARE cool, now let's attach them to this easter bonnet before the flour and water paste dries"
Really, the J.C should stand for "Just Crazy"
What they do get is as much religious tea as they can drink, a few dry biscuits, people with soft and weak voices telling them that God loves them all and possible molestation and inappropriate behaviour from the Vicar and/or Choir Master.
They tend to recruit in non confrontational ways, like going up to some kids in town and asking them if they're having a good day, or on their way to a party before they give them a leaflet.
Those in charge of "Team J.C" can often be heard saying things like, "You know what, gang? It's prayer time! Come on, let's give it up for the Lord!" or even "Paper chains ARE cool, now let's attach them to this easter bonnet before the flour and water paste dries"
Really, the J.C should stand for "Just Crazy"
"Oh Lordy, it's Team J.C, dead ahead"
"How do you know they're on the team?"
"Check it out, they've got bumbags stuffed full of leaflets and Evanessence T shirts on! Plus, look at those crazy, vacant smiles.......they're on the team! Quickly, kids, run to the car!"
"How do you know they're on the team?"
"Check it out, they've got bumbags stuffed full of leaflets and Evanessence T shirts on! Plus, look at those crazy, vacant smiles.......they're on the team! Quickly, kids, run to the car!"
by MagickDio March 18, 2010
Get the Team J.Cmug. Twatman is the drunken guy you seriously need to avoid. He's the one who thinks he's a superhero. He will feel up and slobber over every female within grabbing distance, churning out such winning lines as "You're beautiful, you are. HEY! Did you know that, I said you're beautiful? Cos you are." and "Love, do you wanna come back to my flat and let me fuck you?". These lines are usually delivered whilst Twatman has his face pressed into an unfortunate woman's neck, breathing hotly and rasping his words in a sex killer's voice. Outside, with his mates, Twatman will give them appalling representation by yelling slurred insults at men that were innocently passing by, and inciting a gang style hatred between the two groups, when really, they could have just gone home. Twatman will fight like a retard following a laser pen, will lose and will cry on his knees, bellowing the name of his current or former girlfriend. He will then walk through traffic, dismissing the vehicles as a threat to him and will search out a kebab van. After purchasing the greasy nastiness, he'll wolf it down and puke. He'll tell his mates that he loves them, then get rowdy about it. He'll end his night drenched in sick and gutter filth, plus his own piss, and will be most definitely NOT having sex. He will have ruined everyone's night. These are the powers of Twatman. Bravo.
"Keith turns into Twatman when we go out drinking, lets not invite him, EVER"
"Last night you behaved like a total Twatman, you were really out of order, and you deserve to be horsewhipped, or possibly to die for making that girl cry. I could have ended up fucking her if you hadn't come over and scared her off!"
"Last night you behaved like a total Twatman, you were really out of order, and you deserve to be horsewhipped, or possibly to die for making that girl cry. I could have ended up fucking her if you hadn't come over and scared her off!"
by MagickDio April 19, 2010
Get the Twatmanmug. Non existent ideal. The term embodies the unrealistic expectations of magazines/society/men when it comes to mothers. Magical Mummy can cook, clean, do arts and crafts with the kiddies, sew, wash, walk the dog and fuck like a pornstar without even ruffling her perfect hair. She is never to be found languishing on the sofa whilst the kids run riot, nor does she drink wine and sob in the evenings, looking at the pile of ironing and wondering what the fuck happened to her life.
Most men will claim to their wives (in a foolish attempt to create their prefect world) that their own mothers attained Magical Mummy status.
Most men will claim to their wives (in a foolish attempt to create their prefect world) that their own mothers attained Magical Mummy status.
"He asked me why I hadn't been able to iron his uniform as well as make the dinner and clean the kitchen. As if I'm some kind of Magical Mummy!"
"I told him to piss off to his Magical Mummy, and let her run around like a twat for him"
"Make your own dinner, I'm busy doing this! I'm not your Magical Mummy!"
"I told him to piss off to his Magical Mummy, and let her run around like a twat for him"
"Make your own dinner, I'm busy doing this! I'm not your Magical Mummy!"
by MagickDio February 5, 2010
Get the Magical Mummymug. Oven Eye occurs when a female wearing mascara opens an oven door and bends to peer in instantly, before allowing the steam to escape. The resulting rush of moist heat to the face causes the mascara to react and seriously clump the eyelashes together, making it appear that each eye has a few short, black horns per eyelid, instead of curling, dark lashes.
"Bollocks! I'm going to have to go and do my makeup again, I've got oven eye!"
"Check out those false eyelashes, she looks like she's got oven eye"
"Check out those false eyelashes, she looks like she's got oven eye"
by MagickDio February 6, 2010
Get the Oven Eyemug.