MagickDio's definitions
1)Moisturiser for men is Boysturiser. There's nothing wrong with a bit of moisturiser, but these products earn the term "boysturiser" because of their aggressive packaging. All coloured in various shades of "gun" with a bright trim, as if to say "This is a serious product, it's dangerous. But not so dangerous that it will burn your face off.It's safe to use. But ONLY by Real Men". Males who are concerned about looking "gay" for caring about their skin will purchase boysturiser. Men who don't give a damn how people perceive them will either use their partners moisturiser, buy a supermarket own brand, or buy whichever one was closest to them on the shelf at the time. As far as today's men are concerned, there are those who moisturise, and those who boysturise.
2) Men claim to women that they've "heard" that semen is good for the skin, in an attempt to have them readily agree to a dose to the face. They say it jokingly, but ever hopefully that the woman will say, "Really?? Because I've tried everything to get rid of this dry skin, but not that. Come on then, I want it all over" Because of this ridiculous male perpetrated myth, guys across the world are still self advertising the marvellous properties of their own "boysturiser". With a handy dispenser! Just stroke, rub and aim to achieve desired results! Satisfaction guaranteed! (note- satisfaction guarantee applies to dispensing party only.)
2) Men claim to women that they've "heard" that semen is good for the skin, in an attempt to have them readily agree to a dose to the face. They say it jokingly, but ever hopefully that the woman will say, "Really?? Because I've tried everything to get rid of this dry skin, but not that. Come on then, I want it all over" Because of this ridiculous male perpetrated myth, guys across the world are still self advertising the marvellous properties of their own "boysturiser". With a handy dispenser! Just stroke, rub and aim to achieve desired results! Satisfaction guaranteed! (note- satisfaction guarantee applies to dispensing party only.)
1) "Greg's just gone and spent £30 on boysturiser, when he could have got the same stuff from Asda for £10."
2) "I thought that the date was going well until he mentioned he had something to help my dry skin problem"
"Oh no, did he offer his boysturiser?"
"He sure did. And went home alone, presumably to boysturise his own right hand"
2) "I thought that the date was going well until he mentioned he had something to help my dry skin problem"
"Oh no, did he offer his boysturiser?"
"He sure did. And went home alone, presumably to boysturise his own right hand"
by MagickDio March 18, 2010
Get the Boysturisermug. The week during which a woman has her period. There will be blood, an uncomfortable sense of tension and a bad tempered, unpredictable beast.
Take heed during shark week. If you show signs of weakness or aggression, you will be attacked. If you get attacked, it will be all your fault, infinitely more traumatic for her and you'll never be allowed to forget it.
Take heed during shark week. If you show signs of weakness or aggression, you will be attacked. If you get attacked, it will be all your fault, infinitely more traumatic for her and you'll never be allowed to forget it.
Man 1-"Why is your wife glaring at you from the window?"
Man 2-"Shark week. She's looking for an excuse to strike"
Man 1-"Pub?"
Man 2-"Hell yes."
Man 2-"Shark week. She's looking for an excuse to strike"
Man 1-"Pub?"
Man 2-"Hell yes."
by MagickDio January 9, 2011
Get the Shark Weekmug. A magical being, of which there are thousands. They fly around and use their powers to make unlikely sex situations happen. It's up for debate as to whether or not these creatures work for the greater good. For example, sex faries will have made it possible for the school geek to sleep with the school stud. Excellent for the reputation of the geek, but total social disaster for the stud.
Sex faries work better in situations where copious alcohol is applied to all parties, or when a high degree of lust renders the targets unable to function correctly. (Sex faries can be prayed to if desperate, and are more likely to exist than God)
Sex faries work better in situations where copious alcohol is applied to all parties, or when a high degree of lust renders the targets unable to function correctly. (Sex faries can be prayed to if desperate, and are more likely to exist than God)
-"Hey Steve, I hear you slept with Tina. What possessed you?"
-"There must have been some bloody sex faries in the air. I will never live this down"
-"Oh Magical Sex Fairy, please please PLEASE let me have one night with Danny, and I'll never ask for anything again, I swear!"
-"There must have been some bloody sex faries in the air. I will never live this down"
-"Oh Magical Sex Fairy, please please PLEASE let me have one night with Danny, and I'll never ask for anything again, I swear!"
by MagickDio February 24, 2010
Get the Sex Fairymug. A serious outburst of unexpected and completely over the top rage. This style of hissy fit was made famous by former No. 1 ranking professional tennis player, John McEnroe, hence the name. To qualify as an episode of McEnrage, it has to happen in public, with witnesses. (That is not to say that Mr McEnroe did not throw his toys out of the pram in private, simply that we do not know if this is the case.) McEnrage can be a classic, all out, red in the face, foaming at the mouth screech fest, or it can be a much less dramatic thing, but with the inclusion of the phrase, "You cannot be SERIOUS!!"
"Why is Jez outside, chain smoking and pacing?"
"Oh my God, you totally missed it! Dude, it was insane. We got to the window and the woman said they were sold out. Instead of getting tickets to the next showing like the rest of us, he just flipped! Started screaming "You cannot be SERIOUS!!" and smacking his hands against that plastic window, swearing and demanding that he be found a seat immediately. That's his spit they're cleaning off the window now!"
"Jesus, proper McEnrage then!"
"Yeah. Fucking Jez, I don't reckon we'll ever be allowed back here now."
"Oh my God, you totally missed it! Dude, it was insane. We got to the window and the woman said they were sold out. Instead of getting tickets to the next showing like the rest of us, he just flipped! Started screaming "You cannot be SERIOUS!!" and smacking his hands against that plastic window, swearing and demanding that he be found a seat immediately. That's his spit they're cleaning off the window now!"
"Jesus, proper McEnrage then!"
"Yeah. Fucking Jez, I don't reckon we'll ever be allowed back here now."
by MagickDio October 11, 2012
Get the McEnragemug. Verb- When someone manhandles your possessions in a spasticated manner, causing them to cease functioning correctly or wrecking them altogther.
For example, if someone were to pick up your new iphone, press a few things in an ill educated manner and return it, only for you to find later that you can no longer call anywhere except Greece, they will have seriously spandled it.
For example, if someone were to pick up your new iphone, press a few things in an ill educated manner and return it, only for you to find later that you can no longer call anywhere except Greece, they will have seriously spandled it.
by MagickDio June 21, 2011
Get the Spandlemug. When the cold weather or a gust of wind forces your eyes to water and hot tears to spill down your cheeks, prompting people to ask "What's the matter?!"
Winter Tears could be an acceptable to use if you don't actually want people to know you're crying. However, during an episode of genuine Winter Tears, there are those that won't believe you weren't sobbing. Thus, the Winter Tears phenomenon is dreaded by young males.
Winter Tears could be an acceptable to use if you don't actually want people to know you're crying. However, during an episode of genuine Winter Tears, there are those that won't believe you weren't sobbing. Thus, the Winter Tears phenomenon is dreaded by young males.
by MagickDio September 22, 2011
Get the Winter Tearsmug. 1) A sarcastic term used to describe something or someone that others clearly thinks is great, but is actually fairly sub standard. (Not unlike a lot of jazz)
2) A description for the fuss people make about something that's hardly worth mentioning. (Like the latest jazz album.)
2) A description for the fuss people make about something that's hardly worth mentioning. (Like the latest jazz album.)
1) "I got a new puppy!"
"Big Jazz! I got a new shotgun. Shall we get the two of them together?"
2) "So the bride walked down the aisle and everyone went "Ahhhhhh". All I could think was- "Big Jazz... she looks like an iced gem."
"Big Jazz! I got a new shotgun. Shall we get the two of them together?"
2) "So the bride walked down the aisle and everyone went "Ahhhhhh". All I could think was- "Big Jazz... she looks like an iced gem."
by MagickDio April 19, 2010
Get the Big Jazzmug.