Definitions by MadamexXx

Birth Control Shirt 

This is a shirt my first husband got second hand and I could tell why. As soon as he put that shirt on, it looked so bad that I was forced to shut my eyes because it was emotionally traumatizing to look at it. The combination of print, pattern and color produced such a cataclysm of visual assault that I needed six months of therapy to deal with it. It is the equivalent of seeing your loved one wearing a Jason from Halloween mask, which is almost as scary.

When my husband wore the birth control shirt, I knew that there would be no chance of him cheating on me. I was surprised it didn't render him sterile. It was one ugly-ass unflattering shirt. I threw it away and he divorced me anyway.

Birth Control Shirt by MadamexXx March 13, 2009

Bootsy Mother-Fucker 

Somebody who has no fashion sense or ability to match in an environment where everyone else does and being this way is social suicide. We used to say it in San Francisco.

That bootsy mother-fucker must be colorblind! Doesn't he own a mirror?

Bootsy Mother-Fucker by MadamexXx March 10, 2009

Strapping Young Buck 

A young, good-looking, and rather hot example of the male species who appears before the eyes of a lustful older woman.

Boss: "Why are you late?"
Cougar: "I got derailed by a strapping young buck."
Boss: "With antlers and everything?"

Strapping Young Buck by MadamexXx March 10, 2009

Dad Stories 

Stories told by your father that are exaggerated to impress upon how easy your life is compared to his at your age.

"I had to walk ten miles in ten feet of snow just to get to school in shoes that were too small;" (Dad Stories)

Kid realizing that his dad must be exaggerating as he did not grow up in Siberia.

Dad Stories by MadamexXx March 4, 2009

Fat ass

Anyone whose body fat is exceeding healthy limits.
A person whose body is grossly out of proportion due to excess fat.
A very overweight person with the metabolism of a slug.
Being a fat ass can make you miserable because you begin to think you can't lose that weight.
Some people are proud of being a fat ass, but most people aren't.
Some people can't help being a fat ass due to medication or other medical conditions.

"Hey, Fat ass, don't steal my ice-cream," said seven year old Tanya.

Fat ass by MadamexXx March 3, 2009

Sodagasm

1. When you are so addicted, you're jonesing for a sweet, carbonated, caffeinated beverage that bubbles sweetly down your throat and finally getting one is ecstacy.
2. You're in the middle of hot sex and all you can think about is drinking a soda.

That first diet Pepsi in the morning gives me a sodagasm.

I poured soda on his dick and then sucked it off because I was so thirsty and had a sodagasm.

Sodagasm by MadamexXx March 3, 2009

Rescrewnion 

To hook up with someone from your past you used to mess around with during another phase in your life.

Everytime I think about that dude I shagged ten years ago, I wish we could have a rescrewnion.

Rescrewnion by MadamexXx March 3, 2009