70 definitions by Lord Grimcock

The act of inserting carrion (ideally a fourth-trimester goat foetus) up a lady's quim. Putrefaction ensues, and after a certain time - weeks, maybe months - has elapsed, the semi-liquid remains can be felched out of her gash by a braver man than me. Preferably at solstice, etc, as with necrobation, which can be done simultaneous, and often is.
Incubating that necrobortion gave your mum lethal blood poisoning. Best put the cadaver on ice till solstice.
by Lord Grimcock January 23, 2008
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A sex technique involving two men, three women and an indeterminite number of geese. The protagonist repeatedly rams his fists up the anus and urethra of one of the female participants, while the others prance around them in jester's garb, making witty repartee, clicking their fingers, occasionally coughing. As the female begins to rupture, the second male begins inserting live geese up the lead's anus (a feat requiring some dexterity and strength) while quoting from the Tibetan Book of the Dead. Once the death of both leads has been confirmed, those remain continue as per a regular Celine Dion.

Can be done with ducks instead of geese in which case it is known as a Clitheroe cheesegrater.
So I looked over the fence and she was only doing the Dronfield ironing board, the filthy bitch.
by Lord Grimcock August 16, 2008
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The state of trance a man enters when confronted with a pair of tits.
Sorry about that. I went into norkolepsy when Clavdia come in in that off-the-shoulder ballgown. Just run to the lav for a quick number three. Did I miss anything?
by Lord Grimcock May 15, 2009
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Descriptive of a severely chafed penis following sustained sexual activity, masturbation or having being fellated by Esther Rantzen.
I went up the road to Cabanatuan for a pint of milk and came back with a cock like a blind skater's elbow.
by Lord Grimcock May 26, 2008
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British. Swollen bollocks; overfull testicles, cliffhangers. Together with heightened aggression, cold-sweating and the shakes, symptomatic of DSB.
I gave him a right punt up the swollocks, mam.
by Lord Grimcock September 5, 2007
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The one failsafe method of birth control, much favoured between military types in the eponymous Yorkshire garrison town. See also: Colchester condom.
Now you will be wearing a Catterick condom when I meet you behind the barrack block tonight, won't you lieutenant?
by Lord Grimcock December 13, 2007
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To help, give aid to or ease the life of a male bird or fowl.
A: I found this crippled bantam on Wansbeck Road and have spent the last 2 months nursing him back to health.

B: What an grandmaster of cock succour you truly are.
by Lord Grimcock July 13, 2008
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