rhyl spice

Ultra strong synthetic cannabis blends or powders openly sold on the streets of the North Wales drugs haven known as Rhyl (where addicts come to die). Leaves users sitting in their own shit and rocking
Rupert realized he had overdone it on Rhyl Spice when he looked at the clock and was unable to tell the time his head was so fucked
by Loopydave April 06, 2019
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trumpeter's lips

When the anal sphincter is puckered and slightly open due to a state of extreme fear, resembling a trumpeter's lips
It was a bleak winter's day on the somme, rifle in hand and with the trumpeter's lips Rupert knew he would be going over the top today and meet his demise on foreign soil
by Loopydave December 01, 2018
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Brown Goliath

Rupert had to ask his wife Mary to inspect his anal sphincter for damage after heaving out a Brown Goliath that morning
by Loopydave October 24, 2019
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clown's pastie

An absolute disgusting crispy semen coverered bulbous labia example of a slags pastie aka a drunkards late night meal. Most likely diseased, and wears fake prada and orange makeup.
Rupert phoned the clinic with much hesitation about his blistered knob and his wife's clown's pastie
by Loopydave December 17, 2018
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dribbling clam

A sopping wet vagina, as wet as an otters pocket due to arousal. Not to be confused with venereal discharge.
After seeing Mary's dribbling clam, Rupert realised no extra lubrication was required.
by Loopydave January 17, 2011
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googling rehabs session

A drink and/or drugs session so severe it the following afternoon you are shivering looking up local rehabs on google
Rupert realized things were getting quite out of hand after another googling rehabs session...
by Loopydave January 25, 2017
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polish the lighthouse

The act of masturbating whilst in the bath, ideally with the waterline sitting right at the base of your cock.
Whist Mary was away at bingo Rupert took the opportunity to bathe and polish the lighthouse
by Loopydave August 18, 2018
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