Loopydave's definitions

rolled up phone book

An arse splittingly wide shit, usually the result of stuffing yourself the day before with kebab, steak, fine cheeses, etc... and dehydration caused by excess alcohol.

Rupert howled, when the morning after the pickles and cheese party he had to pass a rolled up phone book

by Loopydave May 12, 2020

beer child

The bloadted round belly heavy beer drinkers get resembling a pregnancy , usually after about four pints into a session. Particularly a problem for alcoholic male to female transsexuals who want to pass as female without looking like they are with child.

Mary: "That lady looks heavily pregnant"
Rupert: "No, it's a tranny with a beer child"

by Loopydave September 1, 2018

paul daniels weed

Extremely strong dense nuggets of cannabis. So called because when you put a tiny nugget in a grinder and grind then open it you are shocked by the amount of ground cannabis in there and shout out "Magic!", the catchphrase of the late and annoying twat of a magician Paul Daniels

Rupert realized he had bought paul daniels weed when after a single blunt he could barely move and feasted on Rice Crispies

by Loopydave February 21, 2019

snail's doorstep

I filthy, over used, unwashed vagina, resembling the doorstep of a snail.

Rupert realized the prostitute had not used feminine wipes before his visit after seeing her snail's doorstep

by Loopydave February 20, 2017

nodding dog

A woman, usually drunk and ugly, performing oral sex in the back seat of a car. In reference to the bobble head 'nodding' characters British people would put in the rear window of there car, often a Churchill Dog.

Office manager Rupert received the full nodding dog treatment from the drunk PA Mary in the taxi on the way home from the office party.

by Loopydave March 15, 2019

plum slap

The act of gyrating your body whilst kneeling over your partners face and slapping them in face with freshly shaved testicles

Mary lay there pretending to be happy but inside disgusted and humiliated as Rupert repeatedly gave her a plum slap

by Loopydave February 3, 2019

dribbling clam

A sopping wet vagina, as wet as an otters pocket due to arousal. Not to be confused with venereal discharge.

After seeing Mary's dribbling clam, Rupert realised no extra lubrication was required.

by Loopydave January 17, 2011