Lewis1983's definitions

firtle

To put a hole in a picture/poster of your favourite celebrity and fuck it.

"I firtled Angelina Jolie last night"

by Lewis1983 June 6, 2005

toilet billiards

The rare occurance of one curling out a shit so curly and long that it's tip makes contact with the testicles.

"I swear to God, it was so long and curly I was about to clear up in a game of toilet billiards"

by Lewis1983 June 6, 2005

labia lard

Fanny batter, moip, love juice.

"2 fingers in and she's weeping labia lard everywhere"

by Lewis1983 June 6, 2005

fucked fridge

State of arousal in a lady.

"We went to see that Titanic, and as soon as that cunt DiCaprio came on screen you could tell she was dripping like a fucked fridge"

by Lewis1983 June 6, 2005

quornography

Lesbian porn - i.e. no meat.

"Jenna Jameson has produced some fine quornography in her time"

by Lewis1983 June 6, 2005

boro

Short for Middlesbrough - a town in the North East of England, home to a superb football team and some nice areas like Yarm, Eaglescliffe and Nunthorpe. The rest is a fucking shithole full of illegal immigrants, yardie gangs, crackhouses, litter, and fat single mothers of 15 living off benefits that should all be nuked to make way for my BMW.

"You are my Boro, my only Boro, you make me happy, when skies are grey!"

by Lewis1983 June 6, 2005

yarm

Small town in Teesside, North East UK. Really nice little place but full of arseholes with fake tan and stupid gay mullets talking about how much their latest Prada top cost them, the reality being they work in a clothes shop/bar for £4.50 an hour and they spent a month's wages on it.

The funny thing is the majority of people like this don't live in Yarm - they just aspire to and hail from a giant mock-tudor housing estate called Ingleby Barwick where the houses are 15cm apart, and their parents work in middle management and drive a Ford Mondeo.

"Went to Yarm last night"

"Was it full of cunts?"

"Yes"

by Lewis1983 June 6, 2005