Definitions by Legolas Redbard

hot lips healy 

Hot Lips Healy was an old university nickname of Kate McCann, the mother of 2007's biggest news story, Madeline McCann. Fun fact, Madeline was never called Maddie until she dissapeared. Either they changed the name to make it short and snappy, or they realised that M A D D I E is an anagram for I M D E A D

"Hot Lips Healy has a nice tan, she's been lying in The Sun all week

hot lips healy by Legolas Redbard March 4, 2016

The Sun

Home of Diana, Maddie, and the page three girl. Or all of the above at once. Oh... Don't picture that, the thought police will send you to jail

"EXCLUSIVE! DIANA MURDERED BY PHILLIP IN TUNNEL HELL!"
"EXCLUSIVE! MADELINE MCCANN KIDNAPPED BY PORTUGUESE PEDO IN TAPAS HELL!"
"EXCLUSIVE! LADY DI AND MADDIE HIT THE BEACH!"
THE SUN. WHERE HUMANITY GOES TO DIE

The Sun by Legolas Redbard March 4, 2016

Trojan Horse Scandal 

Islamists in Brimingham High Schools? Tell me something I didn't know!

"This school isn't infiltrated by hardline Islamists, is it Abdul?"

"No sir"

"Do you think it is part of the Trojan Horse Scandal Mohammed?"

"No sir."

"What about you Peter, you evil piece of infidel shit who's screams of agony in the fires of hell will help me reach orgasm when I make those 72 virgins the cheapest slags around?"

"... Allah Akbar?"

Trojan Horse Scandal by Legolas Redbard March 4, 2016

adele dazeem

What John Travolta calls Maureen from Rent/Elsa the ice queen

"And the award for ear-worm of the century goes to... ADELE DAZEEM! I MEAN, INDINA MENZEL! Yeah..."

adele dazeem by Legolas Redbard January 24, 2016

sex 

What most people do on their coffee breaks. And/or when they're meant to be looking after children, but maybe that was just in a book...

"Having sex with a prostitute might give you an STD" claims leading paediatrician

sex by Legolas Redbard January 24, 2016