Lancaster's Second Finest's definitions
A form of natural disaster restricted to the progressively more scarce environments in which words are put onto actual paper, and papers are put into actual physical folders. A folderlanche occurs when many such folders are simultaneously dislodged from the shelf or table where they had been precariously stacked, and begin a catastrophic slide that overwhelms all in their path.
Note: A folderlanche should not be confused with the similar but significantly more deadly 'binderlanche'.
Note: A folderlanche should not be confused with the similar but significantly more deadly 'binderlanche'.
Simon was chimping with a Russian Sailor when a freshly-flung turd struck a titanic stack of folders containing all of the former's Barry Manilow porn. The ensuing folderlanche left Big Ivan disfigured, and Simon ginger.
by Lancaster's Second Finest June 5, 2015
Get the Folderlanche mug.The highly undesirable state of being both ginger and bald. Defined as a chronic illness by the World Health Organisation, and a personality disorder by the American Psychiatric Association.
McDonaldism is a common consequence of premature Galdness.
"I'm collecting for people with Galdness. Could you please spare a few coins, or an unconvincing toupee?"
That dude has galdness. He is just a massive galdy.
"I'm collecting for people with Galdness. Could you please spare a few coins, or an unconvincing toupee?"
That dude has galdness. He is just a massive galdy.
by Lancaster's Second Finest June 6, 2015
Get the Galdness mug.The dissonant male-specific mental state of being both (a) distressed at having gone bald, but also (b) delighted that you've gone bald because you were previously ginger. A chronic form of the classically ephemeral cognitive dissonance, McDonaldism affects around 2% of men worldwide, and 73% of men in Scotland.
See that 40 year old guy who's trying to have sexual intercourse with age-inappropriate, attached women? He's only behaving that way because he has McDonaldism.
by Lancaster's Second Finest August 15, 2011
Get the McDonaldism mug.After inadvisedly smelling a half-pint of shandy, Simon developed catastrophic beercontinence and uncontrollably voided his bowels in the middle of a busy supermarket.
Geoff’s beercontinence was the stuff of legend, particularly among the staff at the Travelodge who remain in therapy to this day.
Brunhild in German: “Arnfried, did you literally just cack your underpants during our first date?”
Arnfried also in German: “It is not my fault. The strong Munich pilsener has rendered me beercontinent.”
Geoff’s beercontinence was the stuff of legend, particularly among the staff at the Travelodge who remain in therapy to this day.
Brunhild in German: “Arnfried, did you literally just cack your underpants during our first date?”
Arnfried also in German: “It is not my fault. The strong Munich pilsener has rendered me beercontinent.”
by Lancaster's Second Finest January 20, 2023
Get the Beercontinence mug.When I woke up today, the heating was nearly half a degree out of whack, so I obviously had to some Shelleying. I told my boss I had hypothermia and was in the spa by 9.30.
A sustained campaign of Shelleying had enabled Simon to write his first novel, a six hundred page meditation on one man’s struggle with devastating haemorrhoids.
Person 1: “Man, I’ve not been in to work on a Friday for 15 years. I tell them I’m working from home, but I’ve totally cracked out the gin by mid-morning.”
Person 2: “Dude, that is some epic Shelleying.”
A sustained campaign of Shelleying had enabled Simon to write his first novel, a six hundred page meditation on one man’s struggle with devastating haemorrhoids.
Person 1: “Man, I’ve not been in to work on a Friday for 15 years. I tell them I’m working from home, but I’ve totally cracked out the gin by mid-morning.”
Person 2: “Dude, that is some epic Shelleying.”
by Lancaster's Second Finest March 15, 2019
Get the Shelleying mug.The right of any woman to own as many cats as she bloody wants, no matter how much her long-suffering man bitch might object.
I have to get up at 5am every day to amuse 22 loud moggies, while she stays in bed snoring. Bloody universal Duffrage.
by Lancaster's Second Finest July 17, 2015
Get the Universal Duffrage mug.The statistically anomalous tendency for the telephone to ring while you are having a shit. Extensive studies have shown that the phone of any individual has, at any given time, a 500% higher chance of ringing while its owner is evacuating his/her bowels than during other common everyday tasks such as masturbation, hoovering and chimping. Some schools of thought consider telecoprolism to be a subset of the Sod's Law principle. The others don't really consider such issues to be a worthy use of academic time and resources.
I was just settling down for my morning log and got telecoprolised by the bank again. Bloody telecoprolism, eh?
by Lancaster's Second Finest August 15, 2011
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