Like hypochondria, but much, much worse. The true lisachondriac not only believes they have every exotic disease on the planet, but feels compelled to share this information with even the most casual of bystanders.
Lisachondriac: “I have a headache and I feel a bit warm. I’ve checked on Google and I blatantly have Dengue fever. I’m done for.”
Person: “Er, I don’t know who you are, though I have good reason to suspect you are one of those Lisachondriacs.”
Lisachondria affects one in four million people in civil society. Sufferers are typically spotted being escorted out of medical facilities by angry-looking staff.
Person: “Er, I don’t know who you are, though I have good reason to suspect you are one of those Lisachondriacs.”
Lisachondria affects one in four million people in civil society. Sufferers are typically spotted being escorted out of medical facilities by angry-looking staff.
by Lancaster's Second Finest March 15, 2019
Everyone else was there at 7pm, but I mortlocked it and rolled up at 9.30.
Simon is known for mortlocking it when distracted by well-built Russian sailors.
The baby mortlocked it, so had to be induced.
Simon is known for mortlocking it when distracted by well-built Russian sailors.
The baby mortlocked it, so had to be induced.
by Lancaster's Second Finest February 01, 2014
After inadvisedly smelling a half-pint of shandy, Simon developed catastrophic beercontinence and uncontrollably voided his bowels in the middle of a busy supermarket.
Geoff’s beercontinence was the stuff of legend, particularly among the staff at the Travelodge who remain in therapy to this day.
Brunhild in German: “Arnfried, did you literally just cack your underpants during our first date?”
Arnfried also in German: “It is not my fault. The strong Munich pilsener has rendered me beercontinent.”
Geoff’s beercontinence was the stuff of legend, particularly among the staff at the Travelodge who remain in therapy to this day.
Brunhild in German: “Arnfried, did you literally just cack your underpants during our first date?”
Arnfried also in German: “It is not my fault. The strong Munich pilsener has rendered me beercontinent.”
by Lancaster's Second Finest January 20, 2023
Having discovered Siagra, Simon was finally able to put away the lollipop stick and elastic band.
Simon: "Oh, it's not happening...I'm sorry love, it must be the drink."
Woman: "Have you considered taking Siagra?"
Simon: "Oh, it's not happening...I'm sorry love, it must be the drink."
Woman: "Have you considered taking Siagra?"
by Lancaster's Second Finest August 19, 2017
The right of any woman to own as many cats as she bloody wants, no matter how much her long-suffering man bitch might object.
I have to get up at 5am every day to amuse 22 loud moggies, while she stays in bed snoring. Bloody universal Duffrage.
by Lancaster's Second Finest July 03, 2015
The highly undesirable state of being both ginger and bald. Defined as a chronic illness by the World Health Organisation, and a personality disorder by the American Psychiatric Association.
McDonaldism is a common consequence of premature Galdness.
"I'm collecting for people with Galdness. Could you please spare a few coins, or an unconvincing toupee?"
That dude has galdness. He is just a massive galdy.
"I'm collecting for people with Galdness. Could you please spare a few coins, or an unconvincing toupee?"
That dude has galdness. He is just a massive galdy.
by Lancaster's Second Finest June 05, 2015
Noun: an individual who persistently presents situations as vastly worse than they actually are, to a degree that is almost indistinguishable from satire. Serial catastroboothers are seldom seen in the workplace, because they are just soooooo ill aaaaallll the tiiiime.
Doctor: Can you please rate the pain out of ten?
Catastroboother: Three hundred and seventy two.
Doctor: Seriously, though?
Catastroboother: I am being serious.
Doctor: Please go home.
Helga’s tendency to catastrobooth her workload at the sausage emporium led her to report 170 hours of labour per week. The log book showed she was actually in for a weekly average of 92 minutes.
Catastroboother: Three hundred and seventy two.
Doctor: Seriously, though?
Catastroboother: I am being serious.
Doctor: Please go home.
Helga’s tendency to catastrobooth her workload at the sausage emporium led her to report 170 hours of labour per week. The log book showed she was actually in for a weekly average of 92 minutes.
by Lancaster's Second Finest January 19, 2020