Definitions by Lace Valentine
Tom Waits
1. A hobo whimsy best expressed by a musical and lyrical genius that is legendary and rich with sly legerdemain. A Gypsy talent.
2. A national treasure usually found roughing it among vagrant campfires, eating baked beans, singing verses of box cars and Martha, playing harmonica that is kept in his coat's breast pocket on cold nights.
3. A dancing set of bones--such as the Elephant Man--summoned up from the dead to take the listener on an eerie ride, i.e. the Gospel Train on Halloween.
2. A national treasure usually found roughing it among vagrant campfires, eating baked beans, singing verses of box cars and Martha, playing harmonica that is kept in his coat's breast pocket on cold nights.
3. A dancing set of bones--such as the Elephant Man--summoned up from the dead to take the listener on an eerie ride, i.e. the Gospel Train on Halloween.
"Tom Waits for no man. But I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy." --Nick Cave to Henry Mancini
Tom Waits by Lace Valentine October 30, 2004
Softie
1. A person who is very tender-hearted when it comes to people and animals. A compassionate and gentle person, sometimes not always apparent from their rougher exterior, and yet some softies are so obvious that they become pushovers.
2. A semi-flaccid penis.
3. Bill Clinton.
2. A semi-flaccid penis.
3. Bill Clinton.
"Fonzie acts like he's a leather-jacketed hooligan, but all his friends like Richie and Potsie know deep down the Fonz is really a softie."
Softie by Lace Valentine October 30, 2004
Turducken
1. An erotic threesome involving birds: a turkey, a duck, and a hen.
From a cartoon drawn by David Farley in 2003 with three such birds exhausted in bed, with the caption below: "Having satisfied their curiosity, the three friends went their separate ways, and never discussed 'making a turducken' again."
2. Three birds in a barrel given as a Halloween treat, very similar in conception as the festive game, bobbing for apples. First used in the 2004 Homestar Runner Cartoon for Halloween.
From a cartoon drawn by David Farley in 2003 with three such birds exhausted in bed, with the caption below: "Having satisfied their curiosity, the three friends went their separate ways, and never discussed 'making a turducken' again."
2. Three birds in a barrel given as a Halloween treat, very similar in conception as the festive game, bobbing for apples. First used in the 2004 Homestar Runner Cartoon for Halloween.
Turducken by Lace Valentine October 29, 2004
Internets
The term, Internets, is used only when referring to the uber-secret internet used only by Government and Bush cronies, thus plural.
Dear Reader, the internet you are now on is not the secondary one but the primary one invented by Al Gore. You are on the internet versus the internets.
Dear Reader, the internet you are now on is not the secondary one but the primary one invented by Al Gore. You are on the internet versus the internets.
Internets by Lace Valentine October 8, 2004