L.MARTIN's definitions

PAGE 10 MOMENT

A defining moment when you realize the gods are aligned against you in pursuit of a goal...That and the realization that your handlers/advisors are either stupid or covertly sabotaging you.In either case they should all be fired.

ANCHORMAN:"Subsequent candidates looking to challenge SENATOR CLINTON have all suffered a PAGE 10 MOMENT. Leaving her little choice but to polish her acceptance speech."

by L.MARTIN December 7, 2005

CABIN AIR

When you're on an airplane,you're breathing the same air that someone else just exhaled.As it relates to the terrestrial...
it's when a group of people seem to be of one mind on a subject or trend.

A bunch of guys in a park with Abercrombie and Fitch sweatpants on...feigning athleticism...while tossing a football around rather effiminately...in front of girls pretending to care...can be said to be breathing the same CABIN AIR.

by L.MARTIN January 15, 2006

MARRIAGE

1)The root cause of divorce.
2)The most successful wealth transfer scheme ever invented.
3)A contract-that if presented to you by an agent/lawyer-would
be sufficient grounds for a legal malpractice suit.
4)One sure way that the state can stay involved in your
life.FOREVER.
5)The point at which regular good sex stops...and infrequent
sex for procreation,manipulation,and/or passive-aggressive
destruction begins.
6)An institution that should be scrapped in favor of 1-3-5
year contracts...Not that you'll be any happier.

Marriage is wonderful.I can see why gay couples want to share in the experience.

by L.MARTIN July 5, 2006

Mash

BASEBALL:TO BE A PROLIFIC HITTER OF TAPE MEASURE HOMERUNS.CANSECO...MC GWIRE...BONDS...SHEFFIELD

HOPEFULLY WE CAN GET GRIFFEY FOR THE STRETCH RUN.HE'S STARTIN' TO MASH JUST LIKE OLD TIMES.

by L.MARTIN September 15, 2005

RED CUNT HAIR

A unit of measurement favored by old-school southern carpenters and general contractors.

CARPENTER 1:"Say fella...would you step back n' take a look at
n'see how this door fits?"

CARPENTER 2:"Hmmm...'bout a coupla RED CUNT HAIRS off the
bottom oughta' do it.Break out the sander."

by L.MARTIN September 27, 2005

PRE-NUP

A useless legal document easily voided by even the most average of divorce attorneys.What she does'nt get in alimony
or property settlement...she will more than get in CHILD SUPPORT.Why do you think she had them?

DIVORCEE'- "What are we gonna do? I stupidly signed that damn
pre-nup eight years ago.'The fuck was I thinking?"

ATTORNEY- "We're good.Courts care about the welfare of the
child over anything.Did I mention they don't
make you document where...or how you spend child
support payments? Little Emily is worth about
20 grand a month based on his present income.
The judge is a woman.I'll probably get you 25."

DIVORCEE'-"I think I love you."

ATTORNEY-"After this is over we'll do a weekend down in
St.Bartts.Bring your pill."

by L.MARTIN September 3, 2006

DIAMOND COMMERCIAL

When a man does something stupid a/o embarrasing a/o frivolous
for the "LOVE" of a woman.

OIL TRADER:..."So we're walking through the park...and we drop a blanket on the grass at the amphitheater...and as I
poured wine for us,I had JEFFREY OSBOURNE come out on stage and sing LOVE BALLAD...at which point I presented her with a 4ct. rock.-and a proposal.Cool,yeah?"

ARMS DEALER:"That is so fucking DIAMOND COMMERCIAL.Don't repeat it to anyone else.Congratulations."

by L.MARTIN December 5, 2005