THE IVY

One of a handful of LA restaurants where wannabe actors pretend
to be flush with cash...and proceed to max out their credit cards...in the futile hope that one of the true POWER DINERS will bother to give them the time of day.Sorry kid.He notices
you like he notices the waiter...only when he's annoying.
ACTRESS/MODEL/WAITRESS/YOGA CHIK:"Hey Tina...wanna go dutch on
lunch at THE IVY tommorrow?"

TINA:"Sure.We can go in my newly
leased Bmer.That way we can
valet."
by L.MARTIN September 27, 2005
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Mash

BASEBALL:TO BE A PROLIFIC HITTER OF TAPE MEASURE HOMERUNS.CANSECO...MC GWIRE...BONDS...SHEFFIELD
HOPEFULLY WE CAN GET GRIFFEY FOR THE STRETCH RUN.HE'S STARTIN' TO MASH JUST LIKE OLD TIMES.
by L.MARTIN August 19, 2005
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BIRTH CONTROL

1)An EXTREMELY RELIABLE technology that mysteriously becomes
less reliable for a woman-the wealthier a man is.
2)An EXTREMELY RELIABLE technology that has been available-in
at least nine different forms to women-for now about
50 YEARS.(There's only two for men:Condom.Vasectomy.)This means nine different forms BEFORE you even
touch abortion or sterilization...But "unplanned"/unwanted
kids still get here.
3)An EXTREMELY RELIABLE technology-available more to women
than men.Yet newsmedia continues to blame men for
irresponsible breeding.Interesting.I've never met a man
who decided when a baby would be born.
SPORTS ANCHOR:"On the day of the draft-the now rich,young QUARTERBACK
found himself served with PATERNITY SUIT papers."

CHICK TO DUDE:"It's okay.I'm on the BIRTH CONTROL pill.My
doctor says I can't get pregnant anyway.I
just want to FEEL you."

SAME CHICK TO GIRLFRIEND 90 DAYS LATER:"I don't know how it
happened.I was'nt planning on this...but I
don't believe in abortion.Sooo..."
by L.MARTIN September 03, 2006
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BLINGSHEVIK

Roman Abramovich finds that his 377ft. yacht Pelorus is a tad cozy.In true BLINGSHEVIK fashion he orders a roomier 500footer.
by L.MARTIN June 11, 2008
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RED CUNT HAIR

A unit of measurement favored by old-school southern carpenters and general contractors.
CARPENTER 1:"Say fella...would you step back n' take a look at
n'see how this door fits?"

CARPENTER 2:"Hmmm...'bout a coupla RED CUNT HAIRS off the
bottom oughta' do it.Break out the sander."
by L.MARTIN September 27, 2005
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PINK SWEATER

Someone who lacks authority or power.When giving orders...or leading people...those you lead are more likely to follow if they respect your ability & competence.Otherwise-you might just as well be wearing something pink.
PROJECT MANAGER:"The schedule has us pouring the foundation tomorrow.Let's get 'er done!"

CONSTRUCTION WORKER:"Has this guy ever ever poured more than a cup of coffee? We're not even done tying the steel."

FOREMAN:"I'll deal with it.He's the Architects' nephew.Tryin' to get some work experience."

WORKER:"Oh great.The arky sends a PINK SWEATER out here to
bark orders.Send his ass to Starbuks."
by L.MARTIN November 17, 2005
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1A

The person in any organization-usually a sports team-who is
good enough to have a lead role.Too bad they're being blocked
by someone already in that coveted spot who's actually quite
good too.
EXAMPLE 1/BUSINESS WRITER TO COLLEAGUE:"If Dick Parsons is #1
at Time Warner,Jeff Bewkes must be 1A.Surely the guy will get his own company to run someday."

EXAMPLE 2/NFL 1A QUARTERBACKS:David Garrard....Gus Frerotte...John Kitna...Brad Johnson.
by L.MARTIN January 15, 2006
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