Definitions by Lârry Dângüs, esq.
twat broom
The mustache of a cunnilingus aficionado. Generally bushy, and smelling slightly of poon juice, thereby offering a lingering olfactory reward to the twat broom's owner.
Dude, how can you rock that twat broom, when it totally interferes with your consumption of the david lee roth?
The twat broom requires some sacrifices, but also offers certain rewards that defy description in polite society.
You mean like how your face always smells like a pussy?
Exactly!
The twat broom requires some sacrifices, but also offers certain rewards that defy description in polite society.
You mean like how your face always smells like a pussy?
Exactly!
twat broom by Lârry Dângüs, esq. May 12, 2010
assholes
An alternate word for aviator-style sunglasses with very dark or mirrored lenses.
While assholes are worn by people from all walks of life, these are the primary wearers: pigs, pretty much everyone in the movie Top Gun (chicks included), obese motorcyclists, rent-a-cops, yacht owners, hipsters, construction workers, and aging retirees who like to fish and drink watery American piss-beer.
Assholes may also worn by non-assholes for the ironic effect.
While assholes are worn by people from all walks of life, these are the primary wearers: pigs, pretty much everyone in the movie Top Gun (chicks included), obese motorcyclists, rent-a-cops, yacht owners, hipsters, construction workers, and aging retirees who like to fish and drink watery American piss-beer.
Assholes may also worn by non-assholes for the ironic effect.
I saw a cop fall off his horse and land face first. His assholes did not survive.
Some dude on a Harley get pooped on by a flock of birds. Fortunately, his eyes were protected from the milky fecal rain by a sweet pair of assholes.
Did you notice any identifying traits of the fisherman who was masturbating in his boat? Could you see his eye color perhaps?
No, because he was sporting a dark pair of assholes. I did, however, notice that he had a summer length sack.
Disgusting!
Yes...yes it was...and come to think of it, he looked just like the drummer from that really shitty band...
Let me take a guess: 311?
YES! How did you know?
Those guys are wanted for all kids of weird sex crimes...mostly necro-beastiality and pedophilia. One day we'll get them.
Some dude on a Harley get pooped on by a flock of birds. Fortunately, his eyes were protected from the milky fecal rain by a sweet pair of assholes.
Did you notice any identifying traits of the fisherman who was masturbating in his boat? Could you see his eye color perhaps?
No, because he was sporting a dark pair of assholes. I did, however, notice that he had a summer length sack.
Disgusting!
Yes...yes it was...and come to think of it, he looked just like the drummer from that really shitty band...
Let me take a guess: 311?
YES! How did you know?
Those guys are wanted for all kids of weird sex crimes...mostly necro-beastiality and pedophilia. One day we'll get them.
assholes by Lârry Dângüs, esq. May 8, 2010
summer length sack
I just did a video search on the word nekkade and witnessed a ridiculous summer length sack. Why was that guy riding his bike in the nude?
summer length sack by Lârry Dângüs, esq. May 4, 2010
poor man's hash
An alternate term for resin; specifically, the resin left behind on smoking paraphernalia as a by-product of cannabinoid consumption.
In desperate times, Dangus often found himself smoking poor man's hash off of old pipe screens as ghetto wind chimes rang out in the distance, a sure sign that cracktivities were transpiring on the stinking streets of Memphis.
poor man's hash by Lârry Dângüs, esq. April 14, 2010
chicago bars
This term describes the 'all-the-way-forward' handlebar position most commonly seen on BMX bikes in urban areas of the United States.
Rather than having the handlebars in a vertical position (as the more practical BMX riders tend to do), the individual who chooses the 'chicago' position instead prefers to lay his or her handlebars all the way forward in an attempt to do any or all of the following things:
1. Allow more knee room on a bike which is far too short for them, possibly because they are a 7-foot tall, 52 year old alcoholic who is riding their grandchild's Wal-Mart bike to the beer store at dawn on a Monday
2. Look 'cool' on an overly small bicycle, which is near-impossible, especially when the rider is visibly frustrated by this situation, and having apparent difficulty controlling said bike.
3. Create the illusion of having a 'low rider' bike, but without making any actual low rider modifications.
All chicago bars ever did was make BMX bikes harder to ride, and cause an untold number of unnecessary faceplants in the ghetto, and under certain circumstances, they may even alert the police to possible cracktivities in the area, due to the obvious fucktardation on the part of these clueless bike riders.
Rather than having the handlebars in a vertical position (as the more practical BMX riders tend to do), the individual who chooses the 'chicago' position instead prefers to lay his or her handlebars all the way forward in an attempt to do any or all of the following things:
1. Allow more knee room on a bike which is far too short for them, possibly because they are a 7-foot tall, 52 year old alcoholic who is riding their grandchild's Wal-Mart bike to the beer store at dawn on a Monday
2. Look 'cool' on an overly small bicycle, which is near-impossible, especially when the rider is visibly frustrated by this situation, and having apparent difficulty controlling said bike.
3. Create the illusion of having a 'low rider' bike, but without making any actual low rider modifications.
All chicago bars ever did was make BMX bikes harder to ride, and cause an untold number of unnecessary faceplants in the ghetto, and under certain circumstances, they may even alert the police to possible cracktivities in the area, due to the obvious fucktardation on the part of these clueless bike riders.
Hahaha! Did you see that guy with his bars almost rubbing the front tire? WTF?
Yes I did; that's because we're in the hood. Now stop sweating that chump's chicago bars and tell that baby on the corner to stop selling weed.
Yes I did; that's because we're in the hood. Now stop sweating that chump's chicago bars and tell that baby on the corner to stop selling weed.
chicago bars by Lârry Dângüs, esq. March 22, 2010
nekkade
The nekkade is a decade performed in the nude. This is a freestyle bike trick invented by hecKtor Dangus during the summer of 2009.
For video documentation, Google search the word 'nekkade'.
Do it for the lulz.
For video documentation, Google search the word 'nekkade'.
Do it for the lulz.
Cops to Dangus : "That nekkade was truly incredible, but we're going to have to ask you to put some pants on, sir."
Dangus to cops : "I bet you guys listen to 311".
Dangus to cops : "I bet you guys listen to 311".
nekkade by Lârry Dângüs, esq. November 24, 2009
ashley schaeffer
This term refers to a gratuitous back-handed pop in the testicles, as delivered by Ashley Schaeffer to Kenny Powers in the HBO series Eastbound and Down.
It is ordinarily considered bad form to give an ashley schaeffer under most circumstances, however, this rule tends to loosen when excessive amounts of alcohol are added to the equation. It is often hypothesized that male drinking buddies who regularly execute the ashley schaeffer may suffer from unrequited homosexual desires. Either that, or they just have a really sadistic sense of humor. Either way, the ashley schaeffer is rarely funny to the recipient.
It is ordinarily considered bad form to give an ashley schaeffer under most circumstances, however, this rule tends to loosen when excessive amounts of alcohol are added to the equation. It is often hypothesized that male drinking buddies who regularly execute the ashley schaeffer may suffer from unrequited homosexual desires. Either that, or they just have a really sadistic sense of humor. Either way, the ashley schaeffer is rarely funny to the recipient.
The church pastor failed to see the humor in my quick and ruthless delivery of an ashley schaeffer to his holy ballsack. Maybe I should have waited until the sermon was over.
ashley schaeffer by Lârry Dângüs, esq. July 23, 2009