53 definitions by Lârry Dângüs, esq.
The act of defecation.
Other terms which express this action include raise a stink and paint the town brown.
Other terms which express this action include raise a stink and paint the town brown.
person 1: I really need to get in the bathroom.
person 2: Just go whiz behind the house, nobody'll see you.
person 1: But I gotta free James Brown!
person 2: wanna borrow my mom's Holy Bible to wipe with? The pages are surprisingly soft.
person 1: ok that sounds cool, but how come YOU get to be person 2? I'm the one dropping the deuce!
person 2: Look bro, I'm just a fictional character in a hypothetical conversation which was contrived for the purposes of illustration. Go ask hecktor dangus.
person 2: Just go whiz behind the house, nobody'll see you.
person 1: But I gotta free James Brown!
person 2: wanna borrow my mom's Holy Bible to wipe with? The pages are surprisingly soft.
person 1: ok that sounds cool, but how come YOU get to be person 2? I'm the one dropping the deuce!
person 2: Look bro, I'm just a fictional character in a hypothetical conversation which was contrived for the purposes of illustration. Go ask hecktor dangus.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. November 5, 2010
The act of explaining the meaning of the word meme to a person who does not understand it. Most people incorrectly believe that a meme is a picture with words added on top of it. This is actually an image macro. While some image macros are also memes, not all memes are image macros. The preceding three sentences are an example of memesplaining.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. October 25, 2016
Paper food is an alternate term for fast food.
If someone hands you food wrapped in paper or styrofoam, you're about to eat some paper food.
If someone hands you food wrapped in paper or styrofoam, you're about to eat some paper food.
The Mango Mussolini seems as clueless as one can be about fine cuisine, as he is known to eat steak with ketchup and proudly consumes paper food on a regular basis.
Being drunk and stoned at three in the morning is a precarious place to be if you're trying to avoid paper food.
Being drunk and stoned at three in the morning is a precarious place to be if you're trying to avoid paper food.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. June 5, 2017
An alternate word for aviator-style sunglasses with very dark or mirrored lenses.
While assholes are worn by people from all walks of life, these are the primary wearers: pigs, pretty much everyone in the movie Top Gun (chicks included), obese motorcyclists, rent-a-cops, yacht owners, hipsters, construction workers, and aging retirees who like to fish and drink watery American piss-beer.
Assholes may also worn by non-assholes for the ironic effect.
While assholes are worn by people from all walks of life, these are the primary wearers: pigs, pretty much everyone in the movie Top Gun (chicks included), obese motorcyclists, rent-a-cops, yacht owners, hipsters, construction workers, and aging retirees who like to fish and drink watery American piss-beer.
Assholes may also worn by non-assholes for the ironic effect.
I saw a cop fall off his horse and land face first. His assholes did not survive.
Some dude on a Harley get pooped on by a flock of birds. Fortunately, his eyes were protected from the milky fecal rain by a sweet pair of assholes.
Did you notice any identifying traits of the fisherman who was masturbating in his boat? Could you see his eye color perhaps?
No, because he was sporting a dark pair of assholes. I did, however, notice that he had a summer length sack.
Disgusting!
Yes...yes it was...and come to think of it, he looked just like the drummer from that really shitty band...
Let me take a guess: 311?
YES! How did you know?
Those guys are wanted for all kids of weird sex crimes...mostly necro-beastiality and pedophilia. One day we'll get them.
Some dude on a Harley get pooped on by a flock of birds. Fortunately, his eyes were protected from the milky fecal rain by a sweet pair of assholes.
Did you notice any identifying traits of the fisherman who was masturbating in his boat? Could you see his eye color perhaps?
No, because he was sporting a dark pair of assholes. I did, however, notice that he had a summer length sack.
Disgusting!
Yes...yes it was...and come to think of it, he looked just like the drummer from that really shitty band...
Let me take a guess: 311?
YES! How did you know?
Those guys are wanted for all kids of weird sex crimes...mostly necro-beastiality and pedophilia. One day we'll get them.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. May 8, 2010
"Want to save the environment? Then don't fuck in the front hole."
“A woman who already recycles at her optimum will still increase her carbon footprint forty times by having two children.” (cited from a study at Oregon State)
"Abortion is green."
- all quotes by Doug Stanhope
“A woman who already recycles at her optimum will still increase her carbon footprint forty times by having two children.” (cited from a study at Oregon State)
"Abortion is green."
- all quotes by Doug Stanhope
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. August 24, 2010
An alternate term for baby wipes or wet wipes. While they are most commonly associated with diaper-changing, whores' handkerchiefs are also regularly employed by sex professionals (as well as non-pros) of either gender to facilitate a cleansing of the undercarriage prior to engaging in some form of snugglelingus. While very useful in cold weather when it's too chilly to take a shower; whores' handkerchiefs are also a favorite of nasty-ass lazy folks, people on camping trips and water conservationists alike. WH's can also can serve as a fancy substitute for toilet tissue.
female to Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter, Mary Cheney: "My love, I fear that your washrooms' supply of shit tickets has been fully depleted."
Mary Cheney to female: "No sweat baby, I got an unopened stash of whore's handkerchiefs under the sink. Now you run along and make that gash smell like artificial petunias for Mary...and hey, throw one'o them live baby dolphins into the piranha tank on yer way back, awright? They friggin' LOVE those!"
Mary Cheney to female: "No sweat baby, I got an unopened stash of whore's handkerchiefs under the sink. Now you run along and make that gash smell like artificial petunias for Mary...and hey, throw one'o them live baby dolphins into the piranha tank on yer way back, awright? They friggin' LOVE those!"
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. December 22, 2011
The free rental is a scam which makes use of the loose return policies of corporate retail entities.
While many people complain about the presence of monolithic turd factories such as Wal-Mart in their otherwise decent neighborhoods, they often fail to realize that these establishments can also be quite useful in certain situations.
To get a free rental, simply save your receipt after making any non-perishable item purchase from a retail giant. Make note of the time frame within which you are allowed to enjoy your purchase (this information is usually printed on your receipt) and then take it back for a cash refund prior to the expiration for that time period.
For example, the time limit for returns at Wal-Mart is 90 days, so one must return the item within that time to successfully complete the free rental.
It is also noteworthy that while Wal-Mart WILL accept returns without a receipt, the purchaser must allow their state-issued identification to be photocopied when this transaction takes place. Wal-Mart's corporate policy currently dictates that a maximum of 3 of these receipt-less transactions be allowed per person each year. Of course, this policy can easily be bypassed by any person who has access to fraudulent forms of identification, and/or a borrowed ID.
While many people complain about the presence of monolithic turd factories such as Wal-Mart in their otherwise decent neighborhoods, they often fail to realize that these establishments can also be quite useful in certain situations.
To get a free rental, simply save your receipt after making any non-perishable item purchase from a retail giant. Make note of the time frame within which you are allowed to enjoy your purchase (this information is usually printed on your receipt) and then take it back for a cash refund prior to the expiration for that time period.
For example, the time limit for returns at Wal-Mart is 90 days, so one must return the item within that time to successfully complete the free rental.
It is also noteworthy that while Wal-Mart WILL accept returns without a receipt, the purchaser must allow their state-issued identification to be photocopied when this transaction takes place. Wal-Mart's corporate policy currently dictates that a maximum of 3 of these receipt-less transactions be allowed per person each year. Of course, this policy can easily be bypassed by any person who has access to fraudulent forms of identification, and/or a borrowed ID.
My mom couldn't afford to buy an air conditioner for her blazing hot, shitty apartment, so she rolled down to Fail-Mart to pick up a free rental window unit for the summer months. When the weather cools off, she'll probably return the AC unit and buy herself a nice warm coat from the same store. Oh wait, did I say 'BUY'? Silly me, I meant to say she'll get a FREE RENTAL!
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. June 17, 2009