Definitions by Lârry Dângüs, esq.
front hole
"Want to save the environment? Then don't fuck in the front hole."
“A woman who already recycles at her optimum will still increase her carbon footprint forty times by having two children.” (cited from a study at Oregon State)
"Abortion is green."
- all quotes by Doug Stanhope
“A woman who already recycles at her optimum will still increase her carbon footprint forty times by having two children.” (cited from a study at Oregon State)
"Abortion is green."
- all quotes by Doug Stanhope
front hole by Lârry Dângüs, esq. August 24, 2010
spousal eunuch
A spousal eunuch is virtually identical to the 'spousal unit', but without the sex. Unlike ordinary eunuchs, spousal eunuchs usually have existing and potentially functional genitalia, but have stopped fucking their significant other for reasons which do not pertain to physical endowment.
I've been banging this married chick because her spousal eunuch can't get a boner without first being subjected to sexual domination. How refreshing it must be for her to get laid by a dude who doesn't have a ball gag lodged in his cake hole!
spousal eunuch by Lârry Dângüs, esq. August 20, 2010
cheese plug
This term refers to the part of one's bowel movement that has been transformed inside the guts from cheese into a harder-than-usual portion of doo-doo. One might be in the ecstatic throes of a smooth dookie session, only to have the brown train interrupted by a cheese plug. One antidote to the cheese plug is binge drinking.
Say man, why do you scarf handfuls of mozzarella every time we make pizza? Nahmean like, how you gonna deal with the cheese plug?
Not to worry, I'll be taking 30 dextromethorphan hydrobromide cough gels immediately after dinner. The resulting shits delivered by those things will blow out any cheese plug.
Not to worry, I'll be taking 30 dextromethorphan hydrobromide cough gels immediately after dinner. The resulting shits delivered by those things will blow out any cheese plug.
cheese plug by Lârry Dângüs, esq. August 13, 2010
raise a stink
Sharing a bathroom with male roommates can be tricky at times. The key to proper lavatory planning often entails getting in your morning shower before someone else decides to raise a stink.
raise a stink by Lârry Dângüs, esq. July 20, 2010
crotch nipple
This term refers to a baby-sized penis which is located on the crotch of a full-grown man.
Most of the major military conflicts in recorded history can probably be blamed on the occurrence of the crotch nipple. There are many crotch nipples in the world, and they are all due to mindless cruelty on the part of God, who does not actually exist.
This term was first coined by hecKtor Dangus in 1991 upon his first viewing of a videotaped performance by GG Allin, for reasons which are readily apparent to anyone who has ever seen GG in the nude.
Most of the major military conflicts in recorded history can probably be blamed on the occurrence of the crotch nipple. There are many crotch nipples in the world, and they are all due to mindless cruelty on the part of God, who does not actually exist.
This term was first coined by hecKtor Dangus in 1991 upon his first viewing of a videotaped performance by GG Allin, for reasons which are readily apparent to anyone who has ever seen GG in the nude.
Confucius say, "man with crotch nipple much more likely to join Marines".
If a man with a crotch nipple were to play his cards right at the dyke bar, he might get lucky with a lipstick lesbian who has a penchant for large clitori.
If a man with a crotch nipple were to play his cards right at the dyke bar, he might get lucky with a lipstick lesbian who has a penchant for large clitori.
crotch nipple by Lârry Dângüs, esq. July 14, 2010
social dose
The quantity of a mind-altering substance which does not impair the user's ability to functionally converse. This dosage can a be highly (no pun intended) subjective, depending not only upon the substance and the user, but also the peripheral circumstances.
When David Hasselhoff's cheeseburger starts falling apart, that's a sure sign that Mr. Hasselhoff has surpassed his social dose of alcohol for the evening.
You might THINK you're on a social dose of david lee roth, but you are acting like an overbearing coked-up bastard.
The girls didn't know much about mixing alcohol with pills, so their 'social dose' of Xanax and Smirnoff Ice led to blackouts and xanaps.
You might THINK you're on a social dose of david lee roth, but you are acting like an overbearing coked-up bastard.
The girls didn't know much about mixing alcohol with pills, so their 'social dose' of Xanax and Smirnoff Ice led to blackouts and xanaps.
social dose by Lârry Dângüs, esq. May 27, 2010
multitasting
The practice of mixing odd flavors in the mouth simultaneously. Some examples of multitasting include eating a piece of citrus fruit too soon after brushing one's teeth, taking a hit off a beer while also chewing gum, or sucking on a breath mint while eating a wasabi-laden sushi roll.
While it is most often a manifestation of absent-mindedness, multitasting has also been deliberately practiced by people who 'just don't give a fuck.' These brave intentional multitasters have inspired humanity for generations innumerable. Kneel before Zod!
While it is most often a manifestation of absent-mindedness, multitasting has also been deliberately practiced by people who 'just don't give a fuck.' These brave intentional multitasters have inspired humanity for generations innumerable. Kneel before Zod!
Did you see that chick? She just popped a piece of gum in her mouth, chewed it like three times, and then downed half a diet soda. And now...I think...yes!...she's back to chewing the gum! What is this fucktardation?
That's called multitasting, and it is rather odd. But did you know that both the chewing gum and the soda contain a chemical poison called aspartame, which should never have been approved by the FDA?
No, do tell!
Well, it just so happens that Aspartame was passed despite FDA scientists' disapproval by none other than douche nozzle extraordinaire, Donald Rumsfeld.
According to a G.D. Searle's salesperson, Patty WoodAllott, Donald Rumsfeld stated "he would call in all his markers and that no matter what, he would see to it that aspartame be approved this year."
An interview with consumer attorney Jim Turner revealed how Donald Rumsfeld "called in his markers" as part of Reagan's transition team in 1981. This is why G.D. Searle felt compelled to reapply for aspartame's approval one day after Reagan's inauguration.
This is despite rejection of aspartame over brain tumors.
What a bunch of sweethearts, huh? I wish asshats Rumsfeld and that stupid band 311 would all go die in a fire.
That's called multitasting, and it is rather odd. But did you know that both the chewing gum and the soda contain a chemical poison called aspartame, which should never have been approved by the FDA?
No, do tell!
Well, it just so happens that Aspartame was passed despite FDA scientists' disapproval by none other than douche nozzle extraordinaire, Donald Rumsfeld.
According to a G.D. Searle's salesperson, Patty WoodAllott, Donald Rumsfeld stated "he would call in all his markers and that no matter what, he would see to it that aspartame be approved this year."
An interview with consumer attorney Jim Turner revealed how Donald Rumsfeld "called in his markers" as part of Reagan's transition team in 1981. This is why G.D. Searle felt compelled to reapply for aspartame's approval one day after Reagan's inauguration.
This is despite rejection of aspartame over brain tumors.
What a bunch of sweethearts, huh? I wish asshats Rumsfeld and that stupid band 311 would all go die in a fire.
multitasting by Lârry Dângüs, esq. May 22, 2010