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Definitions by Kung-fu Jesus

shock-therapy

Using something powerfully persausive to bring someone to your side.
A smith and wesson is a great tool for shock-therapy.

There's a condom behind that bookshelf 

Joke about children's attitude towards sex and lack of practical knowledge or reading skills.
Kid A: There's a condom behind that bookshelf.


Kid B: What's a bookshelf?

smokes three packs a day

One who smokes sicty cigarettes per day.
Your pop caught you smoking, and he said, "No way!"
That hypocrite smokes three packs a day

Dishwasher 

a) A machine into which dirty cutlery and plates are put, along with salt and a tablet, to spray the dirty things with jets of water.

b) a woman
Who do you hit to get a broken dishwasher working again?

Her face!
Dishwasher by Kung-Fu Jesus May 2, 2004

coup d'etat

a) when militia storm the government HQ and cease control of a country.

b) When a government is discredited by its' actions enough for them to be forced by thier people to hand over power, since no-one is listening to them
b) The house-arrest of Mikhail Gorbachev was ended by Boris Yeltsins' coup d'etat in which he campaigned against the USSR government of which he was a member with the people on his side and the military disobeying thier oders to prevent the people, thus securing the military on his side.

Roundhead 

In the British civil war, the opposers to the king were called roundheads, because thier typical haircuts made thier heads appear round.
Roundheads! Cavaliers!
Roundhead by Kung-Fu Jesus May 2, 2004

Chest-Beater 

One who aimlessly extols his religion/country/region or anything else that is currently prominent, completely unaware that nothing lasts forever. While it is better to have chest-beaters on your side (as opposed ot wading through countless re-iterations of the same, questionable points), they will usually get very upset after making a mistake that is pointed out and blown apart. Chest-Beaters are almost always conservative.
­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ ­­ ­ yay