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Klaatu's Nikto's definitions

Twitter

A social media platform for vain, bored adults suffering from arrested development who want to impress celebrities with their wit, or insult cthose they hate or they think have 'transgressed' in some manner. This is made more likely by a character limit which makes jokes and insults the easiest way to grab attention and followers, some of whom may be fake accounts.
Generally benign users may be caught up in a twitter storm, when vocal political activists lash out and project their social ineptitude on anyone they disagree with. Twitter has been used by many in creating online echo chambers, doxxing, dog-piling and bullying people out of employment. It also acts like a late-capitalist version of the Stasi.
Generally useful if you want to shout into the digital aether.
Johnny Fuckwit; Did you see what some ghastly apper said about a vacant bimbo on Twitter?
Quentin Pinkeye; No, i was having dinner with friends.
by Klaatu's Nikto December 5, 2017
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Reality TV

Cheap TV shows designed to get vapid, talentless dimwits to embarrass themselves for the pleasure of terminally-stupid, obese unemployed people. The producers who make these shows are expensively educated and nominally intelligent London, NY or LA-based professional drug addicts who never bother watching their own product because they know it's junk, but have become so cynical they're content in propelling their medium into oblivion.
How can one tolerate 'scripted ' Reality TV?
by Klaatu's Nikto December 6, 2017
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The Hatrix

An apt name for the internet since the rise of social media, rage bait and narcissistic smart phone culture.
Neo: iI got into an argument with a feminist vegan atheist demikin on Twitter last night, so i sent her some Pepe memes.
Morpheus: Step out of the Hatrix and cook a meal for someone, you nerd.
by Klaatu's Nikto October 11, 2020
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Cow-people

People of a certain class in the UK who are monstrously obese, dimwitted and rely on public transport. They wear tracksuit bottoms that do not fit them and expose their blubbery gut and backsides, and have ulcerated cankles, as well as gormless bovine expressions.
Their favourite pursuits include watching reality TV while licking gravy from their foil tray dinners off of their doughy forearms, playing violent computer games and screeching at their hyperactive , sugar-intoxicated offspring in public.
They are prone to severe body odours and fungal infestations, orginating from folds of flesh that they find difficult or cannot be bothered to wash.

On occasion, the cow-person may discover a 'feasting' - a morsel of jellified food that has been stored deep in a fold for days- which they ravenously consume, lest it be wrenched from yjem by their benefit assessors.
The only things that match their physical repulsiveness is their idiocy, sense of entitlement and laziness, as they are usually welfare recipients and falsely claiming disability benefits.
Look at that huge family of cow-people gathering at the bus stop!
Look at those cow-people slurping down buckets of chicken and gravy!
Look at those cow-people, demanding their benefits from the taxpayer!
Look at those cow-people, stinking up the cake aisle!
Look at those Cow-people, comparing fat-shaming to racism, as if they can't help how much cheese and fries they ingest!
Look at those cow-people... we could use them in the next war to frighten Putin!
by Klaatu's Nikto November 28, 2017
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Joe Rogan

Chimps, Elk, Weed, LA, Fitness, Paranormal, Gobekli Tepi, wolves and bears, MMA, Comedy, Black holes, quads, CIA, Trump, Epstein, DMT, the fucking pyramids. Jamie bringing it all up.
Abe; I listened to Joe Rogan talking about chimps on DMT.
Ed; I watched Joe Rogan talking about chimps on DMT while piloting reverse engineered alien craft. Jamie had to bring up an image.
Abe: I missed out on that.
Ed: You did.
by Klaatu's Nikto October 11, 2020
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Cringe

What adults do when idiots use it as an adjective.
Idiot; That is so cringe!
Adult: *cringe*
by Klaatu's Nikto October 11, 2020
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Netflix People

People who dont have much of a life or hobbies beyond sitting and watching tge mediocre offerings of Netflix or similar streaming service. They usually place great importance on having caught up with tge latest 'Box sets'.
These people can be from a wide range of socio-economic backgrounds but have certain things in common; they are generally liberal or whatever the celebrities think, don't own many books and usually start sentences with 'so'.

Also known as Epsilons .
Moron: 'Ive just rewatched Breaking Bad, Prison Break and catching up on Westworld and The Crown.'
Me: *closing book* 'ahh, you must be one of those Netflix People'.
by Klaatu's Nikto January 3, 2021
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