Definitions by Klaatu's Nikto
The Hatrix
An apt name for the internet since the rise of social media, rage bait and narcissistic smart phone culture.
Neo: iI got into an argument with a feminist vegan atheist demikin on Twitter last night, so i sent her some Pepe memes.
Morpheus: Step out of the Hatrix and cook a meal for someone, you nerd.
Morpheus: Step out of the Hatrix and cook a meal for someone, you nerd.
The Hatrix by Klaatu's Nikto October 11, 2020
Soy boy
A pale, spectacle wearing, dead-eyed husk of a man with the body of a pre-pubescent boy. Can be be found on Twitter, orbiting obese feminists with daddy issues, defending their honour and proclaiming their feminist credentials , all while succumbing to the Dunning-Kruger effect while waging their online war against differing opinion in the vain belief that Twitter, and by extension themselves, are politically relevant to wider society.
Physically the soyboy resembles two other species of the genus, the neckbeard and incel.despite denying they have anything in common, and are clearly just as resentful towards those they might call 'conseeervative or centrist, while their incel brethren would use the labels Chad or Stacy,; Functioning adults with jobs, sex lives and hobbies other than playing videogames. All three are tainted by a stench of fungus and cheese from poor hygiene, low testosterone and muscle mass, and dead eyes from all of the antidepresssants they're on.
The soy boy's appearance also has another unfortunate effect of getting them confused for kiddyfiddlers, as they share a common look and style.
As a precaution, most parents of young children give these specimens a wide berth.
Physically the soyboy resembles two other species of the genus, the neckbeard and incel.despite denying they have anything in common, and are clearly just as resentful towards those they might call 'conseeervative or centrist, while their incel brethren would use the labels Chad or Stacy,; Functioning adults with jobs, sex lives and hobbies other than playing videogames. All three are tainted by a stench of fungus and cheese from poor hygiene, low testosterone and muscle mass, and dead eyes from all of the antidepresssants they're on.
The soy boy's appearance also has another unfortunate effect of getting them confused for kiddyfiddlers, as they share a common look and style.
As a precaution, most parents of young children give these specimens a wide berth.
Horatio; get that weirdo away from the school gates!
Gulliver; It's difficult to tell if he's a kiddyfiddler or just another greasy soy boy at war with his own existence.
Gulliver; It's difficult to tell if he's a kiddyfiddler or just another greasy soy boy at war with his own existence.
Soy boy by Klaatu's Nikto June 20, 2020
Actionable
An adjective invented by gormless business managers who think they're in a cutting-edge field but are basic bitches on modetate income with brat children.
Also used by Walter Mitty types who think they're 'captains of industry' but are telesales gimps who spend their lives watching The Apprentice.
Also used by Walter Mitty types who think they're 'captains of industry' but are telesales gimps who spend their lives watching The Apprentice.
Sales Gimp: I'm really loving this idea just now. Let's push the envelope and make it even more actionable. We're on a journey. Oo-rah!
Human; Good grief... it's a toaster.
Human; Good grief... it's a toaster.
Actionable by Klaatu's Nikto January 27, 2019
Teeaboo
A non-Brit whose appreciation of quaint, English customs, Harry Potter, Dr Who, Sherlock etc is about the limit of their knowledge, forgetting that modern UK is nothing like a lot of these shows portray for most of the people living there.
Teeaboos are not particularly new, as Americans and non-europeans have enjoyed twee and anachronistic visions for decades, such as the Richard Curtis movies that were cynically marketed to US audiences, while bizarrely extinguishing the presence of non-whites (see Notting Hill) from London.
Weirdly, children's sci-fi Dr Who is more demographically realistic in it's portrayal of modern Britain than most popular exports, but is still 'London-centric'. Unfortunately, this is because the BBC is Londoncentric in its programming and ignores many other regions of the nation, with their own rich histories and cultures.
Teeaboos are not particularly new, as Americans and non-europeans have enjoyed twee and anachronistic visions for decades, such as the Richard Curtis movies that were cynically marketed to US audiences, while bizarrely extinguishing the presence of non-whites (see Notting Hill) from London.
Weirdly, children's sci-fi Dr Who is more demographically realistic in it's portrayal of modern Britain than most popular exports, but is still 'London-centric'. Unfortunately, this is because the BBC is Londoncentric in its programming and ignores many other regions of the nation, with their own rich histories and cultures.
'I just love THE British accent and tea and Sherlock!'
'Which British accent would that be, you strange teeaboo?'
'Which British accent would that be, you strange teeaboo?'
Teeaboo by Klaatu's Nikto December 6, 2017
Eton Leap-frog
A physically exhaustive game where the frustrated young men of Britain's finest independent all-boys schools leap over each other's bare backsides, while taking care not to insert their dangling genitals. Many of these fine young men go on to join societies at Oxford and Cambridge, such as burn-a-fifty-quid- note-in-front-of-a-homeless-man society, or stick-your-todger-in-a-dead-pig club.
Monty Chumlington-Smythe; i say, isn't the debate on at the Young Conservatives tonight?
Tristram Farqhuar-pinklipz; I plan on taking some amyl nitrate then fatty Thompkins and I will Eton Leap-frog each other until Latin.
Tristram Farqhuar-pinklipz; I plan on taking some amyl nitrate then fatty Thompkins and I will Eton Leap-frog each other until Latin.
Eton Leap-frog by Klaatu's Nikto December 6, 2017
Reality TV
Cheap TV shows designed to get vapid, talentless dimwits to embarrass themselves for the pleasure of terminally-stupid, obese unemployed people. The producers who make these shows are expensively educated and nominally intelligent London, NY or LA-based professional drug addicts who never bother watching their own product because they know it's junk, but have become so cynical they're content in propelling their medium into oblivion.
Reality TV by Klaatu's Nikto December 6, 2017
A social media platform for vain, bored adults suffering from arrested development who want to impress celebrities with their wit, or insult cthose they hate or they think have 'transgressed' in some manner. This is made more likely by a character limit which makes jokes and insults the easiest way to grab attention and followers, some of whom may be fake accounts.
Generally benign users may be caught up in a twitter storm, when vocal political activists lash out and project their social ineptitude on anyone they disagree with. Twitter has been used by many in creating online echo chambers, doxxing, dog-piling and bullying people out of employment. It also acts like a late-capitalist version of the Stasi.
Generally useful if you want to shout into the digital aether.
Generally benign users may be caught up in a twitter storm, when vocal political activists lash out and project their social ineptitude on anyone they disagree with. Twitter has been used by many in creating online echo chambers, doxxing, dog-piling and bullying people out of employment. It also acts like a late-capitalist version of the Stasi.
Generally useful if you want to shout into the digital aether.
Johnny Fuckwit; Did you see what some ghastly apper said about a vacant bimbo on Twitter?
Quentin Pinkeye; No, i was having dinner with friends.
Quentin Pinkeye; No, i was having dinner with friends.
Twitter by Klaatu's Nikto December 5, 2017