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Klaatu's Nikto's definitions

Pornhub

Where thirty-something men go to watch a thirteen-year-old boy's idea of what sex is like.
Guy 1; I watched some Hentai last night.
Guy 2; cartoon sex? that's for weirdoes. I watched Pornhub
Guy 1;...
by Klaatu's Nikto October 11, 2020
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Reality TV

Cheap TV shows designed to get vapid, talentless dimwits to embarrass themselves for the pleasure of terminally-stupid, obese unemployed people. The producers who make these shows are expensively educated and nominally intelligent London, NY or LA-based professional drug addicts who never bother watching their own product because they know it's junk, but have become so cynical they're content in propelling their medium into oblivion.
How can one tolerate 'scripted ' Reality TV?
by Klaatu's Nikto December 6, 2017
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The Hatrix

An apt name for the internet since the rise of social media, rage bait and narcissistic smart phone culture.
Neo: iI got into an argument with a feminist vegan atheist demikin on Twitter last night, so i sent her some Pepe memes.
Morpheus: Step out of the Hatrix and cook a meal for someone, you nerd.
by Klaatu's Nikto October 11, 2020
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Buzzfeed

Like Huffpost, but for demented children with profound cognitive impairment, or quirky girls who think they're feminists but talk about unicorns in baby voices, are vegan, have blue hair and suffer from narcissistic personality disorder.
Dippy girl: Hey, look at this article on Buzzfeed about cats being pumped for Taylor Swift's new album.
Dippy girl's carer: Have you taken your pills today?
by Klaatu's Nikto November 28, 2017
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Soy boy

A pale, spectacle wearing, dead-eyed husk of a man with the body of a pre-pubescent boy. Can be be found on Twitter, orbiting obese feminists with daddy issues, defending their honour and proclaiming their feminist credentials , all while succumbing to the Dunning-Kruger effect while waging their online war against differing opinion in the vain belief that Twitter, and by extension themselves, are politically relevant to wider society.

Physically the soyboy resembles two other species of the genus, the neckbeard and incel.despite denying they have anything in common, and are clearly just as resentful towards those they might call 'conseeervative or centrist, while their incel brethren would use the labels Chad or Stacy,; Functioning adults with jobs, sex lives and hobbies other than playing videogames. All three are tainted by a stench of fungus and cheese from poor hygiene, low testosterone and muscle mass, and dead eyes from all of the antidepresssants they're on.

The soy boy's appearance also has another unfortunate effect of getting them confused for kiddyfiddlers, as they share a common look and style.

As a precaution, most parents of young children give these specimens a wide berth.
Horatio; get that weirdo away from the school gates!
Gulliver; It's difficult to tell if he's a kiddyfiddler or just another greasy soy boy at war with his own existence.
by Klaatu's Nikto June 20, 2020
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Roastie

1)An affectionate UK/Ire/Aus term for a roast potato, or

2)A slightly derogatory but humourous term referring to expansive female genitalia that causes near-catastrophic levels of cognitive dissonance in many empowered educated but hysterical female journalists and feminist bloggers, at once labelling it sad and pathetic but also threatening and dangerous, as they do with the general incel culture.

Poor lambs.
Man in English pub: I'll have a couple of lovely roasties to go with that, and some gra...
Feminist/Guardian/Jezebel ; RRRAAAPE!
by Klaatu's Nikto April 4, 2023
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Lizzo

She who ate all the pies.
Dave of Cornwall: Who ate all of the pies?

Dave of Devon; Lizzo
by Klaatu's Nikto April 4, 2023
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