Definitions by Killing Kittens

Correlation 

A statistic that means a lot less than you think it does, but is useful in arguments if you want to sound right.

There is a correlation between ice cream sales and drowning. Therefore, the consumption of ice cream should be considered a public danger.

Correlation by Killing Kittens May 19, 2009

fiction 

Disguised autobiography.

All fiction is at least partially autobiographical, and all autobiography is at least partially fiction.

fiction by Killing Kittens June 29, 2007

Relativism 

Intellectual laziness.

Everything is relative. This means that all belief systems are equally true, except for Christianity and anything remotely pro-western or pro-American.

Also, since relativism holds that there is no center of truth, it is a perfectly valid opinion to say that "Plan 9 From Outer Space" is a better movie than "Citizen Kane", because my opinion is just as valid as yours, even when I don't bother to back it up.

Relativism by Killing Kittens December 7, 2006

tattoo 

Dermatological graffiti.

Facial tattoos always work out REALLY well.

tattoo by Killing Kittens November 29, 2006

clothes 

The most effective form of contraception.

Gavin dry-humped Roberta on the bus. Since they both wore clothes, copulation was avoided.

clothes by Killing Kittens November 4, 2006

erotica 

Pornography with bad lighting.

"The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting." -- Gloria Leonard.

erotica by Killing Kittens October 24, 2006

open-minded 

The state of having the same beliefs and perceptions as you, or being succeptible to their influence.

I'm looking to meet open-minded people, but only if they believe X, Y, and Z.

open-minded by Killing Kittens September 9, 2006