34 definitions by Justanotherguy

Something so fucking predictable they could just record it and play the same tape over and over every day. It's always exactly the same, and ignores anything not within a 2-mile radius of the center of Providence.
"95 North is slow between Thurber's Avenue and the State Offices Exit, 195-westbound is backed up from Broadway to the I-95 split, 95 South is slow from Atwells Avenue to the 146-merge, 146 South you're on your brakes from Admiral Street to the 95 merge, and the 6-10 Connector is backed up to Dean Street...I'm Jim Stearns with your Wheelock Auto Rhode Island Traffic Report."
by Justanotherguy March 8, 2010
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Mental condition wherein human beings see other human beings as filthy animals while seeing dogs as their brothers, sisters, or, most often, children. Condition may cause said persons to do the following:

- become filled with outrage when a dog is killed, even accidentally; however, when humans are killed or abused, they turn a blind eye to it.

- bring their dogs into restaurants and supermarkets and become outraged when told that their pet doesn't belong there, insisting it is "a member of their family" and that the store is discriminating against them.

- pay thousands of dollars for their pets to have treatments for cancer, but bemoan human beings "running up huge hopsital bills for their family" when trying to survive cancer.

- make hilarious statements such as "I would rather heaven was full of dogs than people," not realizing that such would mean they wouldn't be there, either.

- feed their dog from their dinner table and even let the dog take stuff right off of their plate, but get mad if someone "breaches protocol" by eating with their fingers or putting their elbows on the table.

It is important to note that Canine Dysfunction is not limited to dog owners, but can also affect the owners of any other type of house pet, both common and uncommon, in a similar fashion with regard to their animal of choice.
Some woman with canine dysfunction was carrying her poodle around the grocery store and made a huge scene when she was told that only Seeing-Eye Dogs were allowed in the store. It only got more awkward when she declared that she and her "child" were leaving and would be talking to a lawyer about a discrimination suit.
by Justanotherguy October 16, 2012
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The best vehicle man has invented, possibly a gift from the gods.
Biker guy: Hey can I pick u up on my ๐Ÿ๏ธ?
Cute girl: just marry me now ๐Ÿ˜
by Justanotherguy April 14, 2023
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Refers to a half-hour after sex. If you did your job right, your girl will still be clinging to you at Fuck-thirty, or if you did an outstanding job, she'll be asking for an encore performance around Fuck-thirty.
Jeff knew the deed was done right when his girl woke him up at Fuck-thirty just to say "I love you."
by Justanotherguy October 19, 2012
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A very long, profound way of saying, "Let's have a 3-hour meeting about how to do 5 minutes' worth of work."
Bob: "Should I book the grant money at quarter end or a third each month?"

Bob's Boss: "Well that might have an effect when we try to qualify the income. If the Board can't correlate the paradigm shift correctly, they might not be able to understand how we cross-mapped the budget and the actuals. We need to sit down and think about this."

Bob: "I should've just fucking posted it."
by Justanotherguy February 3, 2010
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Yet another type of grotesque hors d'oeuvres typically served during weddings and other functions at a banquet hall. Just what the hell makes these things up is anyone's guess, but in general, it's a fluffy pastry-like hors d'oeuvre that is stuffed with cheese that tastes like it fermented in someone's ass for a few weeks before being served. Typically only eaten by people who were denied a meal for three hours by an absurdly long wedding ceremony and then had to wait for a few hours for pictures to be taken, this is a stomach-ache in the making for all but the most iron-gutted people. Too messy to be used as an Assembly-safe Shuriken, these pieces of crap are best used as skipping stones if the banquet facility features a nearby body of water.
"Spinach Vomit-bombs and Ancient Ass-cheese Flowers...glad to see Bob and Sue sprang for only the highest-quality food for their reception."
by Justanotherguy March 15, 2010
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A young jerkoff. Usually a jerkoff because he's too young to be having sex but is randy as a son-of-a-bitch. When he's not jerking off, he's practicing by making snakes with his Play-Doh. Not to be confused with a sock-stuffer.
Brian is a total snake-maker, you can see it in his eyes when he's rolling the Play-Doh. May be time for his parents to have "the talk" with him.
by Justanotherguy October 16, 2012
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