Joost911's definitions

pull a cracker

Phrase used during the festive season to describe going out with a view to hooking up with an attractive person. Used during the festive season as it also describes pulling a festive cracker around the dining table.

The club was packed last night, it wasn't Christmas but I still managed to pull a cracker

by Joost911 September 4, 2010

Jazz Towel

A towel used exclusively for cleaning up ejaculate.

No don't use that towel Kelly, that's the jazz towel

by Joost911 August 15, 2010

a bit of a ball ache

A task or duty that is mildly tedious and something you would rather not do. Less severe than a task which is a, "right ball ache"

Having to do your timesheets at 17:30 on a Friday before you can leave work is a bit of a ball ache.

by Joost911 August 23, 2010

Did I fuck

I didn't (emphatically)

House mate 1: "Did you take out the trash?"

House mate 2: "Did I fuck"

House mate 1: "For fuck sake"

by Joost911 June 11, 2011

Boobtuber

A female vlogger who's vacuous videos emphasize her breasts at every possible opportunity in order to accumulate views. The video thumbnail will also contain a prominent picture of her breasts.

The actual video content and dialogue is typically dire. Many viewers will note in the comments that they muted the sound in order to increase their enjoyment of the video.

The term comes from a variation of the term "Youtuber," one who uses Youtube. We arrive at "Boobtuber," one who uses one's boobs to generate traffic on their Youtube channel, by substituting "Bob" for "You" in Youtube. This is also a clever play on words in that a "Boobtube" is also a ladies garment often sported by Boobtubers in their videos.

Boobtuber's videos are popular with young males who have strict (militant) parents that would severely reprimand them if they were found to be viewing dubious sites, whereas good wholesome Youtube is considered fine..."It's ok mom, it's only Youtube...etc etc"

"You're not watching that boobtuber again are you? She's clearly not an intelligent person"

Boobtuber's video comments section:

"Thumbs up if you clicked here for the boobs" (4567 thumbs up)

Scenario of young male with strict militant parents:

Billy: "Mom is it ok if I go on Youtube for 3 hours?"

Mom: "Sure Billy, what are you going to look at?"

Billy: "I'm interested in learning Japanese"

Mom: "Knock your self out Billy"

Billy --> Runs to the computer, fires up Youtube and searches for "Japanese word of the week,"

Wonders what the phrase for "Oh yeah baby" is in Japanese...requests that a video covers that specific phrase in the comments section.

by Joost911 February 10, 2013

Bold

Used specifically in Ireland by a parents or teachers to denote when a child has behaved or is behaving badly.

Some chap in my class found an empty birds egg on the beach so carried it home carefully in the car, brought it into school and put it on display. Upon noticing it on display I took the initiative to strength test it and crushed it in my hand. He was very upset upon returning to the display to see it crushed and started crying. When the teacher found out I was denounced as a “bold, bold boy,” to my entire class.

In Ireland if something is fun, it's probably bold.

by Joost911 November 21, 2012

Documental

When you are assigned so many back to back documentation tasks at work (read, write, review, comment, update) that you start to go completely mental.

"What are you up to this week?"

"Documental. I've been writing specifications for the last 3 weeks straight and I'm going insane"

by Joost911 August 9, 2012