Definitions by Johnny Eightball

lilf 

Linguini I'd Like to Fuck

Nothing gets me off more than going down to that dirty guinea Guiseppe's place to uncork my clam sauce on some of the lilf that he regularly serves up. Now that's a spicy meatball!

lilf by Johnny Eightball January 14, 2007

Bush for President 

A really bad mistake that's not worth repeating ever again. EVER. I mean, come on. What the fuck is wrong with this country anyway?

"I had the runs so bad today from that 2am Taco Bell trip."

"Well, don't pull a Bush for President and go back again."

Bush for President by Johnny Eightball August 19, 2004

yilf 

Yakoff I'd Like to Fuck

"I went to Branson to see Yakoff Smirnoff perform and found my pants were suddenly ill-fitting in the fly zone. He's one yilf, what a country!"

yilf by Johnny Eightball July 8, 2004

apilf 

Acronym for Apple Pie I'd Like to Fuck, a trend that was made popular by the film "American Pie."

I got so worked up thinking about this aplif I saw on TV that I had to go by a 7-11 to get some Hostess snacks to smear on my genitalia and anus.

apilf by Johnny Eightball July 8, 2004

vilf 

Vagabond I'd Like to Fuck

That railyard hobo Buddy Ham Sandwich is a vilf. I'd like to ride his rails if'n you know what I'm saying.

vilf by Johnny Eightball July 8, 2004

xilf 

Xenophobe I'd Like to Fuck

Their curious fear of strangers not withstanding, trolling for xilfs remains one of life's finer pleasures. That and killing hitchhikers.

xilf by Johnny Eightball July 8, 2004

qilf 

Quaker I'd Like to Fuck

Just seeing that knock-out qilf on the box of Quaker Oats sends me scrambling out to the garage where I furiously masturbate with hopes that my Mennonite neighbor's children might see me.

qilf by Johnny Eightball July 8, 2004