Johnny Eightball's definitions

apilf

Acronym for Apple Pie I'd Like to Fuck, a trend that was made popular by the film "American Pie."

I got so worked up thinking about this aplif I saw on TV that I had to go by a 7-11 to get some Hostess snacks to smear on my genitalia and anus.

by Johnny Eightball July 8, 2004

yilf

Yakoff I'd Like to Fuck

"I went to Branson to see Yakoff Smirnoff perform and found my pants were suddenly ill-fitting in the fly zone. He's one yilf, what a country!"

by Johnny Eightball July 8, 2004

vilf

Vagabond I'd Like to Fuck

That railyard hobo Buddy Ham Sandwich is a vilf. I'd like to ride his rails if'n you know what I'm saying.

by Johnny Eightball July 8, 2004

xilf

Xenophobe I'd Like to Fuck

Their curious fear of strangers not withstanding, trolling for xilfs remains one of life's finer pleasures. That and killing hitchhikers.

by Johnny Eightball July 8, 2004

lilf

Linguini I'd Like to Fuck

Nothing gets me off more than going down to that dirty guinea Guiseppe's place to uncork my clam sauce on some of the lilf that he regularly serves up. Now that's a spicy meatball!

by Johnny Eightball January 14, 2007

qilf

Quaker I'd Like to Fuck

Just seeing that knock-out qilf on the box of Quaker Oats sends me scrambling out to the garage where I furiously masturbate with hopes that my Mennonite neighbor's children might see me.

by Johnny Eightball July 8, 2004

stfumilf

Shut The Fuck Up, Mother I'd Like to Fuck

"Hey! STFUMILF or I'll punch you right in the cocksucker!"
"Please don't use that language around my daughter."
"Oh. OK. Sorry. My apologies to the both of you. Let's go to the post office now."

by Johnny Eightball July 8, 2004