stfumilf

Shut The Fuck Up, Mother I'd Like to Fuck

"Hey! STFUMILF or I'll punch you right in the cocksucker!"
"Please don't use that language around my daughter."
"Oh. OK. Sorry. My apologies to the both of you. Let's go to the post office now."

by Johnny Eightball July 09, 2004

qilf

Quaker I'd Like to Fuck

Just seeing that knock-out qilf on the box of Quaker Oats sends me scrambling out to the garage where I furiously masturbate with hopes that my Mennonite neighbor's children might see me.

by Johnny Eightball July 09, 2004

wailing on the cub scout

Sounds ominous, but literally translates as listening with undivided attention.

It's nice to see everyone wailing on the cub scout for a change. Now, please provide a helmet for the button-maker, chop chop.

by Johnny Eightball June 11, 2004

thresh the evil fetus

To harvest olives.

After threshing the fetus, it's common practice in Greece for men to fill the orifices of lamb and sheep with their penises.

by Johnny Eightball June 11, 2004

total eclipse of the heart

The act of smearing one's privates with peanut butter with hopes that a dog, cat or other domesticated pet will retrieve some jelly and bread to make a sandwich with it.

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
Nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart

by Johnny Eightball June 11, 2004

vilf

Vagabond I'd Like to Fuck

That railyard hobo Buddy Ham Sandwich is a vilf. I'd like to ride his rails if'n you know what I'm saying.

by Johnny Eightball July 09, 2004

apilf

Acronym for Apple Pie I'd Like to Fuck, a trend that was made popular by the film "American Pie."

I got so worked up thinking about this aplif I saw on TV that I had to go by a 7-11 to get some Hostess snacks to smear on my genitalia and anus.

by Johnny Eightball July 09, 2004