John Superman's definitions

Failias

The failure to come up with a believable fake name due to time constraints or panicked thinking.

Policeman at car window: "Sir, this car was just seen at a popular doggingspot. I'll need your name, please."

David Armstrong: my name is John... Super... Man...

Policeman: That goddamn failias crap ain't gonna work on me, boy! Get the hell out here!

by John Superman November 28, 2013

qwertymail

The fake email name used when signing up for websites. Usually created by mashing your hands on the keyboard then adding "@yahoo.com".

Guy 1: "Dude, this porn site wants my email address before I can see the premium stuff..."

Guy 2: "Screw that, man. Just use a qwertymail address..."

Guy 1: "Of course! [e-mail] it is!"

by John Superman November 28, 2013

instalebrity

Someone who believes they are famous due to having high numbers of Instagram followers.

Jared: "Yeah, so my last photo got over 60,000 likes. Jayzombie & I are, like, totally best friends. People just seem to totally appreciate my Art. It just speaks to them, i guess..."

Customer: "Just give me my damn latte, you pathetic instalebrity."

by John Superman November 28, 2013

Thanksgiving

A celebratory holiday in the USA that no one else outside the USA quite understands.

British Person: "So Thanksgiving is basically just another Christmas? Do you get presents?"

Irish Person: "What sort of holiday takes place on a Thursday?"

Australian person: What? You eat marshmallows at the same time as turkey?

Chinese person: Is this gigantic Snoopy balloon some sort of Thanksgiving spirit animal?

by John Superman November 29, 2013

George Lucas

A beard grown to disguise a double chin.

"That George Lucas really helps define your jawline. Without it, you'd look like a potato."

"Um, thanks."

by John Superman December 6, 2013

urinal panic

The act of failing to urinate when stood at a urinal in a busy men's public toilet, despite really needing to. This is often followed by urinal miming

"I stood in the queue for 5 minutes, then got urinal panic when it was my turn to go. I just stood there pointing percy at the porcelain & nothing happened. In the end I had to do some urinal miming."

by John Superman December 6, 2013

pointing percy at the porcelain

The act of pointing one's penis towards the toilet bowl whilst standing. Usually accompanied by urination.

"Jeff, your dinner's ready!"

"Give me a minute! I'm just pointing percy at the porcelain!"

by John Superman December 6, 2013