11 definitions by Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo89

A multi-purpose, strong adhesive tape which will bind just about anything together, well-known for it's durability.

Common uses include:

-Taping people's mouths shut.

-Binding people's hands and feet together.

-Poor man's Viagra - two Popsicle sticks and duct tape.

-Make-shift contraceptive device (works equally well for males and females, but significantly reduces pleasure).

-An alternative to bras for women that can provide incredible lift and cleavage by taping the breasts together; as well as flaming red blemishes after removal.

-Insta-Lawn for your front yard (simply lay over old grass and paint green).

-Taping a sleeping friend's facial, chest and pubic hair and waiting for them to remove it.

-Instant Wart/Pimple removal.

-Extra-Strength toilet paper, particularly after a bout of diarrhoea.

-Seat-belts for those fidgety children.

-Temporary car windows.

-A substitute for a Roof Rack on your car.

-Non-stick toilet seat cover.

-Hair extensions.
Duct tape is also known as: hurricane tape, gun tape, gaffer/gaffa tape, speed tape, rigger's tape and power tape.
The Serbian protagonist of the best-selling game of 2008, GTA IV.
Many people mistake him as Russian, vaguely "Eastern European" or something else, but it's rather obvious by his name and native language which he utters throughout the game, he's Serb.

A veteran of the Yugoslav Wars (see: Bosnian war) in which he participated during his teenage life, Niko has a bitter and cynical perspective of the world because of a long history of suffering and betrayal at the hands of others.

He's a no-nonsense, business-oriented guy who's overly protective but perhaps a little paranoid as well.

After his army unit is wiped out in an ambush due to an unknown informant (later revealed to be a member of the unit itself) and at the invitation of his cousin, Roman, he comes to Liberty City in the US, where he's promised a lavish and rewarding life of luxury.

This is where the game kicks off, leaving the player largely to their own devices and free to mould Niko into either: a brutal, psychopathic and cunning hitman who exacts revenge on everyone who betrays him OR a repenter who eventually sees the bright side of life.

The game essentially details Niko's dealings and relationships with the various criminal organisations of Liberty City like the Russian Mafia.
However, there's is so much more to the story it's impossible to explain it all in one definition.
Niko Bellic: "God bless this city!"

Niko Bellic: "How would you like to die?"

Michael Hollick voices Niko Bellic in GTA IV.
The above user is wrong, or is quoting some lame malapropism of the original joke.

"Make me one with everything" is the response given by a Buddhist to a hot dog vendor who asks him, "What can I make you?".

The joke is a play on words, as the oft-quoted Buddhist "motto" is to "be at one" or "be at peace" with everything natural in the world.
A Buddhist goes to a hot dog vendor and the vendor asks him "Hey buddy what can I make ya?".

"Make me one with everything" replies the Buddhist.
If you thought Windows Vista was bad...

Meet its deadbeat, alcoholic, domestically abusive, child-support-dodging father: Windows ME.

Known Aliases:

Windows Mistake Edition
Windows Miscarriage Edition
Windows Motherfucking Embarrassment
Windows Migraine Experiment
Windows Misunderestimated Errors
Windows Menopausal Extravaganza
Windows Marijuana Exhibition
Windows Momentarily Expendable
Windows Major Emergency
Windows May Explode
Windows MEH
Windows Memorably Epileptic
Windows Mimicked Evangelists
Windows Mysterious Entity

Windows Manufactured Estrogen
Windows Metaphorical Mother-in-Law
Goddamn, were Microsoft's programmers smoking PCP when they coded Windows ME?

Windows ME makes my calculator feel proud.

Who the fuck, in their right mind, would use Windows ME?
See: immature, fag, sore loser, Italian girls.

Some fucking nobody that would have remained unknown to the rest of the world for his entire life had he not provoked Zinedine Zidane into headbutting him.

Previously in the FIFA World Cup 2006, he got a red card during Italy's match with Australia and was suspended during Italy-Ukraine.

Then during the 2006 World Cup Final (France-Italy), Materazzi for no other reason than being a complete dickhead and with no provocation whatsoever, called Zidane's sister/mother a whore and possibly said things to him of a racist nature.

Zidane put him down like the little, Italian faggot he is, and then watched him cry his eyes out on the pitch while Zidane got a red card for doing what any upstanding, proud and heroic football player would have done.

Unfortunately all the media bullshit and public scandal surrounding the event forced one of the greats of the sport into a somewhat early retirement, however after the full story came out a lot of people became more sympathetic to Zidane's side and forgave him.

Especially after discovering that's it always been Italian tradition in football to fix matches, pay off referees, fake injury and rig games to their liking.
Marco Materazzi had his 15 minutes of fame. Now he can go back to being a hopeless defender for shitty teams in serie A, while Zidane will always remain a hero to many people across the world and go down as one of the greatest players of all time.
Widely renowned as one of the most successful FBI Informants, Joseph D. Pistone aka. "Donnie Brasco" (his undercover alias) was an undercover FBI agent who infiltrated New York's powerful Bonnano Mafia family from 1976-1981.

The Bonnano Family at the time was headed by Carmine Galante, who through the Pizza Connection, became the single largest importer of heroin into the United States in the 1970's. The FBI was determined to learn the particulars of his smuggling operation, and chose Joseph Pistone to pose undercover as a jewel thief.

For 6 years, FBI agent Joseph Pistone lived a double life undercover, and slowly caught the attention and admiration of top Bonnano "Capo" (Captain) Dominick Napolitano, who along with Bonnano family "soldier", Benjamin Ruggiero, grew to trust Pistone so much they revealed to him many important clues about the heroin distribution network.

After 6 years within the ranks of the Bonnanos, Pistone had fooled his close associates so well they had proposed to make Pistone a full member of the Bonnano family, or a "Made Man".
The only catch was Pistone was asked to execute Anthony Indelicato, who was suspected to have been involved in the murder of the former Bonnano family boss Carmine Galante.

This signalled the end of the FBI's undercover operation within the Bonnano family.
Two days after Pistone was proposed to undertake a "hit" (or contract killing), FBI Agents informed Napolitano and Ruggiero that their long-time friend was an FBI agent.

Johnny Depp plays Donnie Brasco in the film of the same name.

The real Joseph Pistone left the FBI and now works as a free-lance consultant on organized crime for law enforcement agencies.

The evidence collected by Pistone led to over 200 indictments and over 100 convictions of Mafia members.

Dominic "Sonny Black" Napolitano was killed by the Bonnanos in 1981 for having allowed Pistone to infiltrate the family.
An unfunny and seriously overrated, African-American comedian renowned for starring in his self-titled, comedy sitcom Everybody Hates Chris, being a cast member of Saturday Night Live in the 1990's, hosting the Academy Awards and starring in a string of hopelessly, cringe-inducingly, unfunny films like Nurse Betty, Bad Company, Beverley Hills Ninja and Down to Earth.

Rock's comedy routines/skits primarily revolve African-American culture (which resonates well with his typically 80-90% Black audiences he performs for), as well as swearing his head off and using the N Word profusely.

If he was a Caucasian/Asian/Hispanic or any other racial category, he would be booed off stage so loudly that his raspy, hoarse, "I-just-swallowed-razorblades" voice would be drowned out once and for all.

The man has no material outside of Racism against African-Americans and Rap Culture, as well as being totally clueless about impeccably-timed delivery.

Chris is much like a dim-witted and sheltered version of Dave Chapelle, who likes to critique and over-analyze Black society without having experienced even 1/4 of the stuff he refers to as being normal parts of a Black lifestyle.
Chris Rock on stage: "You don’t need no gun control, you know what you need? We need some bullet control! Man, we need to control the bullets!!!"

99% Black audience: "AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA, MA' MAN CHRIS BE FUNNY AS HELL, FO SHO!"

Sole White person in the audience: "Wtf was that? I just wasted 75 of my hard-earned dollars."