Cringe wanker

Entitled or narcissistic individuals who film bizarre and deperate acts in the hope for validation from strangers on social media. This normally comes at the expense of invading the privacy and personal space of innocent people.
Yet another cringe wanker becoming infuriated because i was in his camera shot at the gym.
by Joe Smiff October 11, 2023
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Cock gleam

The glisten on a penis caused by vaginal fluid.
As Sir Hemingworth neared the peak of his pleasure, he withdrew at the last moment, his desire surging like a tide against the shore. In the golden morning light of the Quantocks, his glistening length stood proud, a sword of passion poised above Lady Buchanon’s heaving bosom. The slick cock gleam upon him caught the sun’s glow, like Excalibur itself, majestic, potent, and honking like a fish mongers cuff
by Joe Smiff February 16, 2025
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Clacton-on-Sea

Officially the worst place in the United Kingdom if your anyone other than a flag shagging, reform party skinhead.
"Welcome to Clacton-on-Sea, skinheads welcome!"
by Joe Smiff July 14, 2024
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Hammonds Hat

Pulled it out to find none other than Hammonds hat
by Joe Smiff October 03, 2018
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The sweaty gusset

The Kent lorry park that is supposed to reduce the bottleneck of exported goods entering the EU.
As I opened the bay windows of my kent townhouse, I was welcomed by my morning ritual of diesel and wafts of stale piss and belching from the concrete abomination that is "the sweaty gusset" lorry park.
by Joe Smiff November 12, 2020
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Colonic death grip

The masterful kung-fu act of suppressing a giant mud rock into a deep slumber using only a well-disciplined sphyncter.
Had a prawn and boiled egg vindaloo last night and its playing up with my guts, luckily I managed to summon a colonic death grip to avoid shitting myself in Asda.
by Joe Smiff September 06, 2022
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Shit an ace

To find no signs excrement on the first wipe.
To cut costs UK prisons found that introducing oatmeal for breakfast would reduce the usage of toilet paper by 87%

Prisoners from South London would often call out to their governor, "Guv, I shit an ace innit" and roars of cheers would resonate around the young offenders wing of the prison.
by Joe Smiff March 01, 2024
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