Joe Smiff's definitions

Hammonds Hat

A helmet with skidmarks

Pulled it out to find none other than Hammonds hat

by Joe Smiff October 3, 2018

Neandergammon

pro-Brexit politicians who continue to believe Brexit is still a good thing for the United Kingdom and will argue against any sort of scrutiny based on facts and reality until pink in the face like an inbred pig.

See the news at 10 last night? There was this fucking Neandergammon prick on the telly making all sorts of wild claims about how its past March 29th and we are still in the EU. Maybe he's one of these tax fiddler cunts and wants out at any cost before the EU come chapping his door about his offshore bank account.

by Joe Smiff April 10, 2019

Brexit third-country status woes

Any new negative consequence of post-Brexit Britain's third country status. From school kids being trapped for 14 hours on buses at Dover to the general decline in quality of life that UK citizens share under a conservative government.

Geriatric Tory confuses herself over her third-country national status as the UK is no longer a member of the EU and France has no obligation to pander to the UK's Brexit third-country status woes over issues like the delayed Dover crossings.

by Joe Smiff April 3, 2023

Fadunkadunk

When a person is on the receiving end of large tits slamming hard and true on their skull during intercourse, with the comical delivery of a Fred Quimby Tom and Jerry skit.

I woke up in hospital after pulling a nine pinter at the dancing, the last thing i remember was that she was on top and the last thing i heard was fadunkadunk

by Joe Smiff January 27, 2024

Cringe wanker

Entitled or narcissistic individuals who film bizarre and deperate acts in the hope for validation from strangers on social media. This normally comes at the expense of invading the privacy and personal space of innocent people.

Yet another cringe wanker becoming infuriated because i was in his camera shot at the gym.

by Joe Smiff October 11, 2023

In up to the apricots

When the full length of a penis is inserted into a desired hole.

I was in up to the apricots last night, Mindy let out a huge fart after, we both laughed then I went and made the dinner.

by Joe Smiff October 20, 2023

Gammon oil

The fuel that keeps the Brexit light burning and the delusion that the United Kingdom has the same economic leverage, global relevance and political integrity as the rest of the developed world.

No leverage, no relevance, just the a tank half full of gammon oil fueling a floundering united kingdom spiraling down the council gritter.

by Joe Smiff September 10, 2023