Definitions by Joe Smiff
CUNT MUSIC
Music generated by AI, scrapped from original work by individuals pretending to be musicians or artists.
Why the fuck do I keep getting suggested CUNT MUSIC, I just want to hear my favourite bands, and all I get is this god awful 40 second AI generated drums loops and guitars prompted by some dickhead in his bedroom.
CUNT MUSIC by Joe Smiff January 15, 2026
Cringicism
(Noun) The act of posting staged, attention-hungry content online in a desperate attempt for validation, usually ends in secondhand embarrassment.
When the brand deals dry up and she starts posting ‘sleeping prank’ videos fully glammed in makeup whilst pretending to be fast asleep, that’s pure cringicism.
Cringicism by Joe Smiff June 10, 2025
Cock gleam
As Sir Hemingworth neared the peak of his pleasure, he withdrew at the last moment, his desire surging like a tide against the shore. In the golden morning light of the Quantocks, his glistening length stood proud, a sword of passion poised above Lady Buchanon’s heaving bosom. The slick cock gleam upon him caught the sun’s glow, like Excalibur itself, majestic, potent, and honking like a fish mongers cuff
Cock gleam by Joe Smiff February 16, 2025
Cunt Gathering
An event where the only person engaged with the music is the DJ or band, while the audience chooses to film the experience instead of being fully present in the moment.
Went to this weird club last night where the cringy DJs were the only people dancing. Everybody was on their phone, no vibe, souless atmosphere, a total cunt gathering.
Cunt Gathering by Joe Smiff October 17, 2024
Clacton-on-Sea
Officially the worst place in the United Kingdom if your anyone other than a flag shagging, reform party skinhead.
Clacton-on-Sea by Joe Smiff July 14, 2024
Scheme cousins
(Scottish, Irish) The parents of delinquent children who commit constant criminal antisocial behaviour.
That family up the street, their mother and father refuse to do anything about their kids launching dog shite at the number 14 bus from the big bridge. Sometimes i wonder if they are actually inbred, like scheme cousins.
Scheme cousins by Joe Smiff May 14, 2024
Shit an ace
To cut costs UK prisons found that introducing oatmeal for breakfast would reduce the usage of toilet paper by 87%
Prisoners from South London would often call out to their governor, "Guv, I shit an ace innit" and roars of cheers would resonate around the young offenders wing of the prison.
Prisoners from South London would often call out to their governor, "Guv, I shit an ace innit" and roars of cheers would resonate around the young offenders wing of the prison.
Shit an ace by Joe Smiff March 1, 2024