Joe Salone's definitions

Internet Coma

When you are sitting on your couch, feet up on the coffee table, laptop on your lap. 4-10 hours later you are in an entirely prone position with your legs off the edge of the coffee table and your head on the seat cushion. You become completely unresponsive to your surroundings.

Loss of peripheral vision, amnesia, severely reduced motor function ability, and drooling with one eye closed are common symptoms.

I got online this morning to check my email and mess around on facebook for a bit. Next thing I know it's 7pm, my legs are totally numb, and I have this nasty trail of dried drool down my chin. That internet coma completely ruined my day!

by Joe Salone December 28, 2010

masturbatory knitting

When you decide to enter a period of celibacy, and take up knitting to fill the void in your life.

I know this girl who recently decided to lay of the sex for a while, but she uses masturbatory knitting to relieve stress and pass the time in bed.

by Joe Salone October 18, 2010

Japanese Hamburger

The worst hamburger ever. Reserved for that one-in-a-million hamburger that is so gross that you can't even eat it.

Dude you are the worst chef ever. No I'm not going to eat your Japanese Hamburger!

by Joe Salone June 15, 2012

Faitheist

An atheist who is just as blindly sure there is no God, as the religious people are blindly sure there is one. Not to be confused with an agnostic, who thinks humans are incapable of knowing for sure what's really out there.

I was talking to this Faitheist recently and he was so damn sure his views were the right ones that he reminded me of an evangelical christian. Check your ego homie, you don't know shit.

by Joe Salone December 29, 2010

japanese astronaut

A Japanese woman (or man) who really, really, really enjoys anal sex.

Dude, I was banging this tiny little Japanese girl, and I didn't even know she was a Japanese astronaut. She was basically begging for me to fuck her in her ass. What? Of course I did it.

by Joe Salone September 22, 2010

Chinese Mexican

A Chinese person who works all the time.

Dude, the people that work at that Chinese place up the street are some serious Chinese Mexicans. It seems like they are working there all the time!

by Joe Salone September 22, 2010

Hairy Cactus

When a woman seems receptive to physical interaction (fucking, sucking, fondling, etc.), but when you actually get down to it, she's real uptight about having sexy fun time and if you try she'll hurt your genitals.

A hairy cactus LOOKS soft and touchable, but if you try to play with it, you're gonna get a painful reminder.

Dude, I met this girl at the bar last night and she seemed down for some wild shit, but when I got her to my house she turned out to be a major hairy cactus, kicked me in the nuts and took off with my ipod!

by Joe Salone August 14, 2010