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Jockstrap Cowboy's definitions

Guelph

1. Guelph
(verb) An Onomatopoeia; To eject material in manner best described as (superficially or otherwise) moist and high-velocity. Oftentimes ends with a squelching or splashing sound.

2. Guelph
(noun) A City in southern Ontario, Canada

3. from Guelph
(idiom) An informal, generally negative figure of speech used to denote something of dubious quality, unusual circumstance/behaviour or otherwise poor opinion.
Example 1:
man 1: Unbelievable, that guy just shot mud out of a cannon with a mighty guelph and splattered that poor beach-goer.
man 2: Just absolutely slathered him with sauce, he did.

Example 2:
kid: I'm on lava reef zone in Sonic 3 and I keep dying to those fire shooters coming from the walls.
dad: oh, yeah, those. it's weird, rather than shooting the fire, it sounds like they guelph it, as if they literally say the word.
kid: what the hell are you talking about man

Example 3:
woman: bruh is this the soup from guelph? this shit tastes odious.
line cook: on jeff the killer's grave take it up w the chef
head chef: this pussy from guelph trippin... fuck outta my 'straunt before i consolidate you
by Jockstrap Cowboy February 28, 2026
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Kravitz

A decisive play, oftentimes relying on a gamble; used as a last resort.
in a game of Creepypasta TCG
man 1: backed into a corner, i've no choice but to use my trump card. so be it. take this! forbidden maneuver: 'jeff the killer kravitz'!!
man 2: oh bollocks
by Jockstrap Cowboy February 28, 2026
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Erenct

Erenct: To have your balls firm up to a hardness comparable to a volleyball filled with concrete, usually caused by intense stimulation or the consumption of too much soy milk. Generally, your primary reproductive system would remain inactive while the erenction is active.

Adj: Erenctile
Pre: Erenction
Keep fondling those balls and I'll be erenct in no time flat!
by Jockstrap Cowboy March 21, 2020
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Cock Cannon

A swiss army knife for the cock. A modified penis that shoots semen at a rapid pace, and using an ammo bag rather than testicles. It can shoot nearly any substance at a high FPS and fire rate, especially semen. This tool is often used to overload a vagina and flood the cavity.
John: "Fuck. I pulled the trigger on my cock cannon. Three orphans just died."
Karen: "I wish I had a cock cannon."
by Jockstrap Cowboy June 7, 2019
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P.D Johnson

A soundcloud meme rapper who raps about the gayness of traps, and weird sexual fantasies, such as statues made of foreskin. He is also very fucking stupid.
"Hey, check this soundcloud rapper, he raps about traps and hitler and a bunch of other shit. His name is P.D Johnson!
by Jockstrap Cowboy December 10, 2017
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Erenct

To have your balls go erect during sex but your penis still flaccid.
"Honey! My balls are hard! I'm so erenct!"
by Jockstrap Cowboy December 3, 2017
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