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Joao Bufamarillo's definitions

boob tube

The new opiate of the people. A electronic box containing a video screen and a speaker, watched by millions of cretins too lazy to go out and get a life. Boob tube watchers get a bad case of half-closed eyes and half-open mouths.
If you watch too much boob tube, you will end up looking like Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel.
by Joao Bufamarillo May 15, 2005
mugGet the boob tubemug.

Portagee

A fine race of people that does not whine about its minority status or beg for special privileges or entitlements. They make great sausages and wine, and work for a living. They never paint their names on other people's property and don't hang out on street corners looking to mug people. They never play BOOM BOOM music in their homes or cars.

You can tell when you enter the Portagee part of town by the neat, clean houses. California Portagees often put abalone shells in their front yards. These are much more attractive than the grafitti that some other people put in their front yards.

In their native country, some Portagees catch sardines for a living. Others are Portagee Wine Stompers.

Connecticut and California have the largest concentrations of Portagees in the USA. In California, look for Portagees in San Leandro, Port Arena, Manchester, and Fort Bragg.

Be sure to go to a Holy Ghost Parade. Everyone is welcome. Lots of Portagee men carry statues of the Holy Virgin down the street. There is always a Queen of the Holy Ghost Parade. Often, she is the girl with the biggest mustache. After the parade, the Portagees gather in a large hall to eat linguisa and Portagee Soup made of kale and pork.

Support your local Portagees. They work hard and pay taxes. They are low maintenance people who stay out of trouble and NEVER beg for government handouts. You are always safe in the Portagee part of town.
Some of your best neighbors are Portagees.
by Joao Bufamarillo May 15, 2005
mugGet the Portageemug.

Wally and the Beaver

Walter Mondale and Geraldine Ferraro, democratic candidates for President and Vice President in the 1984 election.

From two characters in the Leave it to Beaver TV show.
Walter Mondale and Geraldine Ferraro were a couple of mush wimp do-gooder liberal twerps. They wanted to raise taxes use the money to support lazy people. They wanted to pass and enforcepolitically correct racist laws. During the campaign, people ridiculed them as "Wally and the Beaver."
by Joao Bufamarillo May 13, 2005
mugGet the Wally and the Beavermug.

tree hugging liberal

A person who lives in a wooden house but who does not want you to live in a wooden house, and who does criminal acts to prevent more wooden houses from being built.
Morris is a tree hugging liberal who burns down wooden houses that are under construction.
by Joao Bufamarillo May 15, 2005
mugGet the tree hugging liberalmug.

peckerwood

A good, but much-maligned, white person.

Peckerwoods do not hijack airplanes. They don't expect society to take care of them. They never demand socialist medicine. No peckerwood ever prances in a parade wearing a jock strap.

Peckerwoods mind their own business and are not a burden on society. Be nice to peckerwoods. Take a peckerwood to lunch this week!
Hey, any of you peckerwoods want to go to lunch this week?
by Joao Bufamarillo July 18, 2008
mugGet the peckerwoodmug.

price of beans

An expression used to indicate that a speaker has gotten off the subject being discussed.
Joe: Chelsea Clinton sure looks like Afleet Alex.

Shmoe: What does that have to do with the price of beans?
by Joao Bufamarillo May 15, 2005
mugGet the price of beansmug.

flapping cheeks

What you get when you blow a prodigious fart. Your cheeks flap in the breeze.
Madelaine sure has a bad case of flapping cheeks today. You'd best stand in front of her when you ask her out.

Heap Big Chief Flapping Cheeks was a flatulent donkey who amused many people with his hind end.
by Joao Bufamarillo May 15, 2005
mugGet the flapping cheeksmug.

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