Jim Birtwisle's definitions

facebook memory

The act of using Facebook to recall a previous night's intoxicated events using photos added by others.

I don't remember going to that bar at all. I only have a facebook memory thanks to Adams photos.

by Jim Birtwisle December 20, 2007

traveller

An alcoholic beverage, usually a tin of lager that is taken for consumption on public transport en route to the pub/bar/club

John, taking any travellers for the train?

by Jim Birtwisle January 16, 2008

rolling on dubs

To drive a vehicle fitted with large (and usually ridiculous looking) alloy wheels. Rock stars and footballers proudly roll on some of the biggest dubs that often have spinning centres that automatically make them look like retards.

Matt, I saw Joe Cole in his car yesterday.

Was he rolling on dubs?

Yeah, he looked like a total knob.

by Jim Birtwisle January 17, 2008

Playdo fists

A fat persons hand upon making a fist. Because of the excess fat around the hands, knuckles are not defined. This means the fist is blob like and sometimes they have small dimples where pronounced knuckles can be found on the hand of a person of average build. This gives the appearence of a childs sculpting of a hand from child friendly Playdo modelling clay.

Having Playdo fists restricts the owners ability to deliver an effective punch if needed.

As Lucy sat writing her essay I noticed she had playdo fists

by Jim Birtwisle December 7, 2007

Scatch

A sub-standard beach game involving two small round velcro pads strapped flat against the palm of the hand and a fluffy tennis ball. It took the British beach holiday by storm in the nineties until it's flaws came to light. These being that the pads were useless if they came into contact with sand and the ball likewise with water. There were many children left dissapointed with Scatch, I was one of them.

Look at those two kids over there, their Scatch isn't working either!

by Jim Birtwisle March 14, 2008

lotus notes

A piece of crap email and data base client server. It has millions of user throughout the world, however you won't find anybody who considers it easy to use.

Interfaces are difficult to navigate and the programme often crashes or stays hanging, requiring the user to restart the application or completely reboot the computer. It is characterised by ugly colour schemes and unecessarily tedious command requirements to carry out simple tasks. Want to see an email attachment with just 2 mouse clicks? Forget it. The use of Lotus Notes is scientifically linked to rage disorders.

As one website puts it, it is "the digital equivalent of being kicked in the groin upon arrival at work every day"

Welcome to your new job Sir, here we use Lotus Notes...Sir, why are you running away? Sir...Sir!!!

by Jim Birtwisle February 20, 2008

fairy flying

First used in popular culture in the 1980's film Style Wars. The term is used to describe a move or an action such as one in breakdancing that looks impressive to the untrained eye but is not actually difficult to execute.

Hey, Did you see that peg wheelie? that was sick.

Nah man, he was just fairy flying.

by Jim Birtwisle November 29, 2007