Jake 's definitions

Dick mailer

One who dilivers by the means of a post office, a dildo to a gay lover before butt sex.

Bob: Do you know why Abe sent me a dildo in the mail? That's kind of fruity.

Ron: Dude, you better hide or something. That fag's a dick mailer!

by JakE May 21, 2007

fuck jingler

A person whom, for some reason or another, enjoys strapping jingle bells to their ballsack during sex, making a familiar holiday sound. Especially popular during the Christmas season.

Boy: Daddy! I think santa's at the Weinstein's house!

Dad: No son, Mr. Weinstein is just a fuck jingler.

by JakE May 21, 2007

cock author

One who enjoys tatooing dirty homosexual phrases upon the genetalia of their fruity companions. Not be be confused with a mere toatooist tatooing a penis, the cock author does it solely for pleasure and not for profit.

Hans: Were you invited to Bjorn's tatoo party?

Wilhelm: I wouldn't go over there if I were you. He's not a tatooist. He's a freakin cock author.

Hans: Oh shit...

by JakE May 21, 2007

pube strangler

One who makes a rope entirely out of human pubes, and then strangles someone. Sometimes for extra humiliation before killing a victim, a pube strangler may rip out the victim's own pubes, and then proceed with strangling him or her.

Harry: Whoa. I hear there's a fucking pube strangler on the loose.

Dillon: Yeah. That shits crazy. He already killed Chad and Molly. We better lock our doors.

by JakE May 21, 2007

clonophobe

One who fears clones. Also used as a term for the fear or rejection cloned animal meat.

Mary was deemed a clonophobe after refusing to support the FDA's decision of marketing cloned meat.

by Jake January 2, 2007

sweet-roll

the act of steamrolling someone (see steamroll), but it performed with the pants down and penis out. sweet-rolling maybe be done one of two ways: the first being with a limp weener to slap and inflict pain on the victim, and second, may be done with an erect penis to cause maximum humiliation on the one being sweet-rolled. the latter is often called stale sweet-rolling.

Steve: i heard Bill sweet-rolled everyone at Jim's sleepover while they were sleeping.

Ziggy: eew fuck dude. wasn't there like 14 kids at that sleepver?

Steve: yeah dude.

Ziggy: Bill's fucked up as hell.

by JakE October 22, 2006

steamroll

the process in which one roll across the floor, over other people. usually done to people lying down, or sleeping people to surprise them. may be taken to the extreme with sweet-rolling (see sweet-roll)

Rick: haha! I steamrolled Nathan's fuckin gay ass and woke him up.

Larry: hah! what a bitch! Let's rape him!

by JakE October 22, 2006