Jake's definitions

ambulance chaser

the 95% of lawyers that give the others a bad name

She's an ambulance chaser with the law firm of Chasem,Screwm & Craponem

by Jake February 28, 2004

Adult Swim

time with no kids in the pool; the adults can feel each other up without worrying that some 10-year-old with goggles is going to see them.

My dad slipped my mom a boner during adult swim and I was born 9 months later. After that they were more careful to use condoms.

by Jake February 28, 2004

period pants

pants females save for wearing when they have their period.....not white or any other light colour, in case they have a leak (which they will)

My sisters each keep a drawer full of period pants, dark underwear and black and brown slacks

by Jake February 28, 2004

take it slow

what a woman sez she wants to do when she's reluctant to have sex with you. Same as go slow

On the second date she announced she wanted us to take it slow. Then I just KNEW that she was never going to fuck me.

by Jake February 28, 2004

lent

(verb):past tense of "loan"

I lent him a condom = I loaned him a condom

by Jake February 27, 2004

lent

An Anglican festival where you give up everything enjoyable in your life for a few weeks. Its supposed to make you a better person.

This year, for Lent, I gave up liquor at lunch, sex, erotic novels, surfing porn sites, dating, and dessert.

by Jake February 27, 2004

magic wand

the Hitachi Magic Wand is a clitoral stimulation vibrator that plugs in (no batteries, good for the environment, and you won't run out of power at the critical moment !)Mentioned on "Sex in the City" and known as "The Cadillac of Vibrators", this is perhaps the world's most popular vibrator.Its strong vibration makes it an unfailing friend in masturbation, and its symmetrical shape makes it a natural for partnered, face-to-face fun.For women who are looking for their first orgasm, the electric vibrations will awaken a slumbering clitoris very effectively. The Wand provides strong, steady stimulation.It's a must for postmenopausal women who are beginning to lose interest in sex.Two speeds, spongy head (about the size of a tennis ball)
Size: 12" long, the head is 2 1/2" in diameter.

After a 12-hr shift she liked to crawl into a warm bed with her magic wand resting on her snatch.

by Jake February 26, 2004