Jacques Asse's definitions

Dirk's Diggler

Dirk's Diggler is a small Jewish penis that leaves its owner at night, roaming the landscape, moaning and screaming like a little piglet.

Phred and me were walking home across the Moors, and we were suddenly confronted by Dirk's Diggler, who started screaming at us in a shrill voice full of gloom and whiskey. We ran.

by Jacques Asse June 25, 2009

Bloom Moisture Cult

Bloom Moisture Cult is the alternate-universe version of Blue Oyster Cult, a hideous stoner band from the 1970s.

Bloom Moisture Cult is ruining my LIFE!

by Jacques Asse January 19, 2010

Riguido

A Riguido refers to an inbred Guido, and Italian man that is his own brother and uncle.

Guido looked at his family tree and discovered that he is actually Riguido.

by Jacques Asse April 7, 2009

Welcome to the Bunghole

Welcome to the Bunghole is a very famous song by Buns N Hoses about anal fucking.

Lyrical excerpt:

Welcome to the bunghole
We've got fun 'n' lube
We got everything you screwed
Honey, we got yer noobs
We are the people that can pine
Whenever you may bleed
If you got the butthole baby
We got time to please

CHORUS:

In the bunghole
Welcome to the bugnhole
Watch it bring you to your
sha na na na na na na na
knees, knees
I wanna watch your asshole bleed

Welcome to the bunghole
You take it inch by inch
If you want it you're gonna bleed
But it's the price you pay
And you're a very sexy girl
Who’s always on your knees
You can taste the bright lights
But you won't get them for free
In the bunghole
Welcome to the bunghole
Feel my, my, my diggler extreme
I, I wanna hear you scream

by Jacques Asse June 25, 2009

punt

A punt refers to a "pizza cunt", which happens when a woman stuffs herself with too much pepperoni and cheese and then gets in a tanning bed to make a human calzone.

The tanning salon attendant found that Sheila had punted while tanning.

by Jacques Asse April 7, 2009

asshead

An American businessman, so named for the habit of bending over backwards and inserting their crania into their anal orifices.

Once Jack was promoted he got to be a true asshead, even though he already knew the moves.

by Jacques Asse February 5, 2009

Sarahstan

Sarahstan is that cold, northern frontier land, near the Yukon, from whence Sarah the Palien was belched forth upon an innocent, unsuspecting world.

A land of vampires and demons and weird, twisted freakazoid white trash, Sarahstan is a vast arctic fortress of evil.

Watch it, asshole, or we'll send you to Sarahstan, land of bears and Eskimos and the neverending Darkness of the Palien.

by Jacques Asse December 29, 2009