Jack the Douche's definitions

MyFolio

A fast-growing tech-based ETF. It consists of 25% leveraged cloud-computing software equities, 25% innovative technology companies, 25% equally-distributed cloud-computing equities, and 25% ultra-growth equities. It is actively managed and produces an average annual rate of return of 30.5%. It is publicly traded with the ticker of MYFO

"I am investing $25,000 into MyFolio. I expect it to break 1 million before I retire."

by Jack the Douche May 20, 2020

Micah's Penis Size

The size equivalent to the length of 37 football fields end-to-end

Look, our plane will fly 3 Micah's Penis Size over to New York.

by Jack the Douche April 3, 2019

Quantum Leap

A scientific term for the 'leap' of logic made when studying high-level mathematics, especially on a miniscule scale. Even though the general theory of relativity persists due to the constant speed of light in a vacuum, the quantum ability to remember complex mathematic formulas is unheard of. When Dr. Tyson first heard of such a leap, he stated various scientific nonsense, and then proceeded to jump out of his 5th story window. There, he was able to calculate the weight, velocity, and acceleration of splat - as he hit the ground and passed away. Regulations in the quantum field of thermodynamics excited his best student, Dr. Doc Tor, and his research into sexy gerbil lingerie. While aided by flying lawnmowers, Dr. Doc Tor was brutally murdered by a falling Dr. Tyson.

Wow, that scientist just died.
He must have had a quantum leap.

by Jack the Douche April 3, 2019

Bullshit Shit

The worst insult you can give anything.

Rick and Morty are freaking bullshit shit and the other one's the important shit shitster on the shit block of cheese in the morning.

by Jack the Douche April 3, 2019

Ilan Crane Fly

Mistaken for a spider, this gassy little fellah is sometimes spotted in the outer band of tress around China. A few were found in the Gobi Desert in Mongolia. The most interesting part of this creature is it's ability to fucking die. Yes, this creature can die at the drop of a hat, provided that the hat is on fucking fire. This animal is dead.

Look at that, it's dead.
Must be an Ilan Crane Fly

by Jack the Douche April 3, 2019

Velocifucker

When an old friend attempts to borrow money and you tell them to fuck off.

Hey can I borrow your money?
Fuck off, Velocifucker!

by Jack the Douche April 3, 2019

TokayerPlex

An ultra-large and awesomely fantastic number equivalent to 10^5121999. When an individual claims, in an argument, that this number is better than any other number, they immediately win that argument.
The God of all other numbers

"12 is the best number"
"No, TokayerPlex is clearly the best number"
"I can't argue with that."

by Jack the Douche October 19, 2018