A text message hand job is when you are getting the "run around" from friends or family thru text messages. When you call no one answers or the reception is said to be very bad or they are in a dead zone.
Tom: hey billy,I tried texting todd and sue to see what they are doing tonite, but they text back they aren't sure, todds gonna check with sue, and then sue told me she's gotta check with todd. typical saturday night text message hand job !
billy: fuck them man! lets get some bank and hit the strip club, nothing but real handjobs going on there !
Tom: Hells Yeah ! !
billy: fuck them man! lets get some bank and hit the strip club, nothing but real handjobs going on there !
Tom: Hells Yeah ! !
by Jack de wack February 04, 2009
When you pull out while having sex and "spray" sperm all over your girls face, chest, belly or ass. As it hits any of those surfaces gravity soon affects the jizz and in starts to roll "down".
by Jack de wack May 19, 2008
just another way of spelling douche, all the same definitions apply. looks cool when you send it in am i/m or a text message on your phone and can slide under the radar when typing in a forum that edits out bad words
hey, what was with tom last nght, he was acting like a real "dewsh"
Kathy: Jenny, what with that twat stank ?
Jenny: I know, my pussy is a little stinky, i got power fucked by john like 6 times this week. I guess i should dewsh to wash all those loads out
Kathy: Jenny, what with that twat stank ?
Jenny: I know, my pussy is a little stinky, i got power fucked by john like 6 times this week. I guess i should dewsh to wash all those loads out
by Jack de wack May 08, 2008
When someone is over reacting and stressed out and taking it out on everyone around them. A few years ago “stress mess” would have been used. Now the phrase “sweating-a-dick” is used.
Diana: Arnold, why is Carol e-mailing me and everyone else in the office over that file ??? I thought that it was completed ??
Arnold: I don’t know why Carol is sweating-a-dick, I took care of all the issues in the file and sent them to her an hour ago.
Arnold: I don’t know why Carol is sweating-a-dick, I took care of all the issues in the file and sent them to her an hour ago.
by Jack de wack October 14, 2019
sound, a PSSHHH, type of sound that is similar to a trucks air brakes. The meaning can be two fold, 1st this sound is performed when you are in strong disagrement with a person or with something they might have said. and the 2nd would be performed to say "fuck you" to someone without them really knowing. If they knew you were telling them "fuck you" they would donkey punch you in the head
girlfriend: tom ! all you want to do is drink beer with your friends,or fuck and watch porn. i can't stand it anymore ! !
Tom:PSSHHH ! i'm so sorry, i didn't know it bothered you so much. i'll stop , i want to make you happy
Doe: Fall out boy is the best band in the world ! !
Cloe: PSSHHH, umm, i know they rock !
Dad: Mike ! go in that room and clean it up ! it looks like a pig stye in there ! !
Mike: PSSHHH , no problem dad right away
Dad: HEY ! ! don't kick me air brakes ! do that shit again and i'll donkey punch you in the head ! !
Mike: Ummmmm, yes sir
Tom:PSSHHH ! i'm so sorry, i didn't know it bothered you so much. i'll stop , i want to make you happy
Doe: Fall out boy is the best band in the world ! !
Cloe: PSSHHH, umm, i know they rock !
Dad: Mike ! go in that room and clean it up ! it looks like a pig stye in there ! !
Mike: PSSHHH , no problem dad right away
Dad: HEY ! ! don't kick me air brakes ! do that shit again and i'll donkey punch you in the head ! !
Mike: Ummmmm, yes sir
by Jack de wack June 12, 2008
A term used when you think someone is fucking with you, or if you feel people are spinning there wheels getting nothing done. kind of like," ok, your touching my dick, and i'm touching your dick " nothing is happening when a person is trying to make it look like there is.
Man: instead of standing here playing double dick touch, can you get the manager so we can settle this.
Home depot clerk: Yes sir.
Tom: discussing this with you is like playing "double dick touch" nothing is getting acomplished here.
Home depot clerk: Yes sir.
Tom: discussing this with you is like playing "double dick touch" nothing is getting acomplished here.
by Jack de wack June 12, 2008
when a male fully clothed rubs his cock (tip of his penis, or cap) against any part of another person male or female as if by accident or brushing his crotch against them so that they can feel the penis. this is a tradition in a town called riverhead, and mostly preformed by a man named joe who works in said town.
lori, i was sitting in my seat on a plane and this fuck putting his bag in the overhead just capped me !
joe you fuck, you just capped me ! !
joe you fuck, you just capped me ! !
by Jack de wack May 08, 2008