Girlfriend: Let's try something special tonight... *bats eyelashes*
Boyfriend: How about I pork you in the dumper?
Girlfriend: I was thinking something more like vaginal fisting followed by risky breath play.
Boyfriend: Fuck! Everything but the bitch's stink!
Boyfriend: How about I pork you in the dumper?
Girlfriend: I was thinking something more like vaginal fisting followed by risky breath play.
Boyfriend: Fuck! Everything but the bitch's stink!
by Jack Atrophy August 09, 2022
All of the factors in a social system that that perpetuate, enable, and incentivize the adoption of identities based in victimhood.
"Why are people listing their ailments in their Twitter bios?"
"Oh, it's a great way to rack up intersectional points and climb up a few tiers in the victim hierarchy."
"Why would they want to do that?"
"Because with victimhood comes a whole bunch of perks. If you are a victim, you always have an excuse to fail. You always have a hypothetical oppressor to blame. You are given license to censure anyone who disagrees with you. You receive an abundance of pity. And best of all, you get to envision yourself as the noble underdog struggling in the next big civil rights movement!"
"That sounds pathological."
"That's because it is... and it is all a product of systemic victimhood."
"Oh, it's a great way to rack up intersectional points and climb up a few tiers in the victim hierarchy."
"Why would they want to do that?"
"Because with victimhood comes a whole bunch of perks. If you are a victim, you always have an excuse to fail. You always have a hypothetical oppressor to blame. You are given license to censure anyone who disagrees with you. You receive an abundance of pity. And best of all, you get to envision yourself as the noble underdog struggling in the next big civil rights movement!"
"That sounds pathological."
"That's because it is... and it is all a product of systemic victimhood."
by Jack Atrophy August 06, 2022
The practice of not emotionally investing oneself in the grand outcome of humanity while approaching society as an amusing spectacle. This attitude was famously espoused by comedian George Carlin.
by Jack Atrophy August 05, 2022
by Jack Atrophy August 09, 2022
Patient: Hello, I'm Jack. I'm here for my teeth cleaning appointment.
Dental Receptionist: Your appointment was at 8:00 AM. It is now 4:56 PM. You have committed a late crime. I'm calling the police.
Dental Receptionist: Your appointment was at 8:00 AM. It is now 4:56 PM. You have committed a late crime. I'm calling the police.
by Jack Atrophy August 09, 2022
A genre of stench in which the aroma of a freshly baked poo combines with the steam from a hot shower.
by Jack Atrophy August 09, 2022
A turd that is all big and knobby at one end but gradually tapers off at the other, resembling the body of a beluga whale.
There once was a man from Chattanooga,
Who dropped a fat brown beluga,
And when he was done,
He screamed just for fun,
"I once blew a guy in Kaluga!"
Who dropped a fat brown beluga,
And when he was done,
He screamed just for fun,
"I once blew a guy in Kaluga!"
by Jack Atrophy August 05, 2022