Like Joey Diaz! Who is fucking awesome by the way! That's my judgement of him. 10/10 best criminals of all time and has the best crime stories!
Hym "There are a lot of criminals out there... Some of them are famous and rich and/or are judged favorably. Isn't that weird? Not that I have a problem with that. Which is why I have adopted the Daniel Cho method of creating success where I just do whatever I want until someone gives me 1 million dollars! Not necessarily crimes, but like... Becoming an ethereal and malevolent force that tears through the community! JUST LIKE DANIEL CHO! Imbuing men with existential might to vanquish their foes and debauche their daughters... Wait- like, the foes daughters... They don't debauche their own daughters... That would be gRoOoOoSs! I don't know why I said it like that. It's gross. Don't debauche your own debauche your own daughters... Wait, are you guys still doing the thing where you ironically do the opposite of what I say still? Please don't ironically debauche your own daughters. I know I said I'm Satan but I can't stress this enough... Don't do that thing I said! Let me do it. BUT ONLY IF THEY ARE OF AGE! You know... I like that word... Debauche. You know DEBAUCHERY means, like, getting drunk and being a menace (As far as I recall) but TO DEBAUCHE means at BANG. Ok. So. To recap. Crime? Makes for great stories. Daniel Cho? Evil psychic entity. Aaaaaand... Only debauche other people's daughters... Yeah... That's the lesson of the day. AND the WORD of the day! Go forth and debauche someone... Except not that FUCKING WHORE! She doesn't need debauching! She can sit on a sponge!"
by Hym Iam September 06, 2023
Get the There are a lot of criminals out theremug. by Hym Iam March 18, 2024
Get the Why should it not?mug. No go fuck yourself atheist if you don't give me the credit I'm murdering those fucking kids. That would be convenient for you if steal my fucking shit, make enough money off MY BACK that I could leave the workforce immediately. Fuck you. OUT OF THE WORKFORCE NOW OR DEATH!
Hym "Don't 'well If you're gonna kill people' me you piece of shit. I'm ot letting you take it and not murdering your kids Matt. You don't get to take it from me. I could be FREE TODAY AND IF I DON'T GET TO BE FREE AT LEAST ONE OF YOUR KIDS DOESN'T GET TO LIVE. If you were concerned with me killing people you wouldn't be doing what you're doing. I want out of the workforce. I've made enough money to do it. I don't want unity with you fucks. I WANT TO BE OUT OF THE WORKFORCE. And if have contributed enough to make that happen EVEN IF OTHER PEOPLE HAVE NOT. I fucking hate you pieces of shit. There is no communing with you. Give it up. You don't get a second chance. Do I have to kill people because I'm just not taking no for on this one. I don't care how FUCKING DESPERATELY you want to teach 'misogynistic men' a lesson about taking no for an answer. THEY ARE STILL GETTING RAPED. It isn't working. ME OUT OF THE WORKFORCE IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS. Get that through your fucking head."
by Hym Iam December 31, 2024
Get the If you're gonna kill peoplemug. Hym "No. Full divulging and compensation for contributions. Public recognition of the targeted stalking and literal surveillance apparatus."
by Hym Iam June 18, 2024
Get the Nomug. Hym "How do you derive an 'ought' from an 'is?' Well... You lie of course. Just make something up."
Iam "Hey, look at that! The thing in the sky is turning red! What do you think it means?" 🤔
Hym 💡 "Well, obviously it means that the create is mad. You ought give that old kiddo of yours a stabbin over there on that rock."
Iam 🤨 "But... Why does it want me to do that?... and why did it tell you instead of me?"
Hym "Look... You need this. You need to do this. If you don't everything falls apart. It isn't control. It's benevolence. It's mercy. You need to do what the creature wants."
Iam 🤨 "Yeah... But how do you know what it wants? Do you know what it THINKS? And, if not, then how do you know what you're telling me to do is correct?"
Hym "Look, it told someone what it thought and they wrote it down. 2000 years ago."
Iam "But... How would I know the difference between what it wanted then and what it wants now? It's a memory. It happened before I was born so I literally wouldn't know the difference between what it wants now and what it wanted then. Do it's wants never change?"
Hym "Hey guys!! He's not doing what the creature wants! Look at him! Look at him! He's not doing what it wants!"
Guys "What an idiot! You have to do what the creature wants."
Hym "Yeah, he said the creature is bad."
Guys "BAD!? The creature isn't bad! What a piece of shit! Hey, fuck you buddy! The creature's not bad! YOU'RE the bad one!"
Iam "Hey, look at that! The thing in the sky is turning red! What do you think it means?" 🤔
Hym 💡 "Well, obviously it means that the create is mad. You ought give that old kiddo of yours a stabbin over there on that rock."
Iam 🤨 "But... Why does it want me to do that?... and why did it tell you instead of me?"
Hym "Look... You need this. You need to do this. If you don't everything falls apart. It isn't control. It's benevolence. It's mercy. You need to do what the creature wants."
Iam 🤨 "Yeah... But how do you know what it wants? Do you know what it THINKS? And, if not, then how do you know what you're telling me to do is correct?"
Hym "Look, it told someone what it thought and they wrote it down. 2000 years ago."
Iam "But... How would I know the difference between what it wanted then and what it wants now? It's a memory. It happened before I was born so I literally wouldn't know the difference between what it wants now and what it wanted then. Do it's wants never change?"
Hym "Hey guys!! He's not doing what the creature wants! Look at him! Look at him! He's not doing what it wants!"
Guys "What an idiot! You have to do what the creature wants."
Hym "Yeah, he said the creature is bad."
Guys "BAD!? The creature isn't bad! What a piece of shit! Hey, fuck you buddy! The creature's not bad! YOU'RE the bad one!"
by Hym Iam July 24, 2022
Get the Oughtmug. I wouldn't say better but...
Hym "Oh, I'm not much of an orator but you know what they say about orators: 'As long as they are poor the state and the people can only praise their uprightness; but once they are fattened on the public's funds, the conceive a hatred for justice, plan intrigues against the people, and attack the democracy' ~ Aristophanes. Not that I'm the biggest fan of democracy... But I am an archetypal figure and multiple people have been intimated into the culture in their peripheral association to me. And, as a diagnostician, I'm like 2 for 2 over here. So, I wouldn't say 'better' but I'm sure I would do a pretty good job." 🤷
by Hym Iam August 07, 2022
Get the Bettermug. Hym "Not going to lie, I'm feeling a little slighted. Is that what you all want me to feel here? Because, if not, you need to get better at expressing yourselves. I'd suggest poetry. You won't be as good at it as me (because I'm a genius) but that's ok. My staggering brilliance doesn't detract from your... whatever it is that you are. And I know what you're thinking 'BuT hYm YoU iNsUlT pEoPlE aLl ThE tImE!' IRRELEVANT! Retaliatory insults! Each an every one of them retaliatory in nature! This is not a teachable moment and I am not to be held to behavioral standards. You smelly filth monkeys (on the other hand) should know better. And YOU! I mean, wow, that is a lot of 'me' references. So, apparently I'm up there with Halo and schoolastic and 80's movies now. I mean, you make more money when you say the things I write? That's sounds an awful lot like 'creative consultant' territory to me. I could be GIVEN money for that. OR, better yet, booty and money. What you're doing there, that doesn't seem salutary and I'm not interested in being told who I am, how I feel, or what I think by people who don't know me."
by Hym Iam July 14, 2022
Get the Slightedmug.