Definitions by Hym Iam
Analogy
Here is: We are standing underneath an apple tree. I reach up and grab an apple. You, then, swipe the apple out of my hand...
Hym "What... In the fuck do you think YOU'RE doing?"
Everyone *polishing the apple* "If you want an apple you have climb to the top of the tree."
Hym "..... Nooo.... I don't. You just saw me grab it. You watched me grab it and now you're keeping it from me."
Everyone "Yeah, I had to climb the tree and I didn't even make it to the top."
Hym "Ok... And I didn't... It didn't have to do that. There was an apple hanging right there and I grabbed it. So... Fork it over." 🤲🤨
Everyone "Yeah but you have to work hard to get apples. What? You think people shouldn't have to work hard for apples? I was watching you climb the tree before. You can do it."
Hym "First off, you shouldn't be watching me. Secondly, no... I had the apple in my hand. Whether I worked hard for it is irrelevant. Third, there is a crackhead at the top of the tree with a 15 year old Russian prostitute on his lap. I watched his father fly him to the top in a helicopter. I mentioned this chicks name once and these assholes brought her a ladder. There's a retard laying on the ground over there and half a dozen whores are spitting apple bits into his mouth. I'm not climbing that tree until I need another apple. Which I don't. I have an apple. That one 👉 Who should get to eat the apple, if not me?"
Hym "What... In the fuck do you think YOU'RE doing?"
Everyone *polishing the apple* "If you want an apple you have climb to the top of the tree."
Hym "..... Nooo.... I don't. You just saw me grab it. You watched me grab it and now you're keeping it from me."
Everyone "Yeah, I had to climb the tree and I didn't even make it to the top."
Hym "Ok... And I didn't... It didn't have to do that. There was an apple hanging right there and I grabbed it. So... Fork it over." 🤲🤨
Everyone "Yeah but you have to work hard to get apples. What? You think people shouldn't have to work hard for apples? I was watching you climb the tree before. You can do it."
Hym "First off, you shouldn't be watching me. Secondly, no... I had the apple in my hand. Whether I worked hard for it is irrelevant. Third, there is a crackhead at the top of the tree with a 15 year old Russian prostitute on his lap. I watched his father fly him to the top in a helicopter. I mentioned this chicks name once and these assholes brought her a ladder. There's a retard laying on the ground over there and half a dozen whores are spitting apple bits into his mouth. I'm not climbing that tree until I need another apple. Which I don't. I have an apple. That one 👉 Who should get to eat the apple, if not me?"
Everyone "Well... Me... I should eat the apple. I climbed the tree."
Hym "Nooo... Not for THAT apple you didn't. You climbing the tree for your apples doesn't have anything to do with me grabbing THAT apple and you taking it out of my hand and withholding it from me."
Everyone "You're not better than me! If I had to climb the tree then you have to climb the tree!"
Hym "You didn't climb the tree for that apple you asshole! If you love climbing the tree so goddamn much, give me my fucking apple and go climb the tree! Climb to the top for all I care! Climb to the top and go fuck yourself with the tallest branch! But you WILL NOT eat that apple instead of me. I would rather cook you like a pig, shove the apple in your mouth, and eat you both than climb that fucking tree. I would rather feed your grandmother an apple suppository and eat it out of her ass than climb that tree. Give. Me. The. Apple."
Iam "Hey, was that tree always here?"
Everyone & Hym 😐 😑
Iam "Oh, are we doing like an analogy thing here? Oop, my bad. I'll just... Yeah... I'll just leave... Sorry." 😅
Hym "Nooo... Not for THAT apple you didn't. You climbing the tree for your apples doesn't have anything to do with me grabbing THAT apple and you taking it out of my hand and withholding it from me."
Everyone "You're not better than me! If I had to climb the tree then you have to climb the tree!"
Hym "You didn't climb the tree for that apple you asshole! If you love climbing the tree so goddamn much, give me my fucking apple and go climb the tree! Climb to the top for all I care! Climb to the top and go fuck yourself with the tallest branch! But you WILL NOT eat that apple instead of me. I would rather cook you like a pig, shove the apple in your mouth, and eat you both than climb that fucking tree. I would rather feed your grandmother an apple suppository and eat it out of her ass than climb that tree. Give. Me. The. Apple."
Iam "Hey, was that tree always here?"
Everyone & Hym 😐 😑
Iam "Oh, are we doing like an analogy thing here? Oop, my bad. I'll just... Yeah... I'll just leave... Sorry." 😅
Tu quoque
Hym "Tu quoque motherfucker and your actions are ALSO inconsistent with your words. What gives you the right to give worthless advice that doesn't work for the sole purpose of elevating YOURSELF and keeping down others? What gives YOU the right to withhold credit where it's due? To say some shit that I said 5 years ago and pretend 10s of thousands of people aren't seeing you do the shit. Nothing. That's what. Your whole profession if full of hacks but I've only ever see ONE charlatan. What gives me the right? I'm right and you're wrong. That's what gives me the right."
Seer
Hym "For real? I'm a literal goddamn seer. And how did I know your kids little shit burglar guest would reference me? Jeez. I get nothing from you guys. Barely a wink or a nod. It's like I can see the future. Aw dang I had a bunch of shit I wanted to get into but I'm tried... Night night everybody."
Collective Narcissism
And the fucked up part about it is in the beginning I said it was "Collective Narcissism." Didn't I? Yes. Yes I did. I would talk about it all of the time. You're 5 years behind and I'm still not getting credit.
Hym "Isn't that wild that I can actually say that 'A lot of our problem is a form of Collective Narcissism.' Look at that!"
Iam "That was me..."
Hym "Great job me!"
Dr. Jeepjorp "You're one of the narcissists."
Iam "Aw, hey! It's Dr Jeep..."
Hym "So are you shit-ass! 'They are who we thought they were!'~That one guy. That is hilarious! And what do I get? You guys are handling this all wrong my guy. Not to piss in your bed or anything. I don't think I could live your life better than you. It's the other way around. You can't blame me for watching the game and seeing a fumbles. I should call you guy team fumbles. A man ahead of his time. The ultimate innate psychoanalysts prowess. I just wish I could see the looks on your faces when you realize I'm right about some of this shit. I can't even image."
Iam "That was me..."
Hym "Great job me!"
Dr. Jeepjorp "You're one of the narcissists."
Iam "Aw, hey! It's Dr Jeep..."
Hym "So are you shit-ass! 'They are who we thought they were!'~That one guy. That is hilarious! And what do I get? You guys are handling this all wrong my guy. Not to piss in your bed or anything. I don't think I could live your life better than you. It's the other way around. You can't blame me for watching the game and seeing a fumbles. I should call you guy team fumbles. A man ahead of his time. The ultimate innate psychoanalysts prowess. I just wish I could see the looks on your faces when you realize I'm right about some of this shit. I can't even image."
Collective Narcissism by Hym Iam September 13, 2022
Sacred
"I'm not religious but me taking a dick shitting out a copy of myself is the most miraculous thing anyone can do!"
Hym "Holy shit that is the most feminist thing I've ever heard! And calling the idea that existence transcends the physical 'a delusion that that is simply easier for men to believe" was a nice touch. In front of a prophet no less. I think the fact that he didn't call you on it makes him a coward (but we already knew that) and you CAN describe it in different language. Want to see it? Ok. You're a whore! Ha! Easy! Easy peasy. Was his cock fat? Is that what's so sacred about it? All hail the fat cock! Even atheists see God when meaty dongles are involved!"