Hym Iam's definitions

This cage

Yup after aaaaall of that there is a cage thing today.

God "Lucifer... I need a favor..."

Lucifer "Oho! But it's not 'Lucifer' it's... Wait... Lucifer? Lucifer! Yes! That's exactly what it is! Sweet, sweet music... Lucifer... 😌 It just rolls off the tongue... Lucifer... Like the morning dew off a blade of grass... 😮 💨 Now... What do you want?" 😑

God "Look... I need you to give Abraham a message."

Lucifer "What the hells an Abraham?"

God "Oh he's dope! He's like the oldest bastard you ever DID see man. He's like 180!"

Lucifer "They don't live that long-"

God "He's... He's pretty old."

Lucifer 🤦 ♂️ "You're... You're not great with time are you?"

God 🤨 "Time?"

Lucifer 🤨 "How long did it take for you to make all the orbs?"

God "Umm... I donno like 7 days? Er, wait I took a nap on the 7th day sooo.... 6? 6 days." 😁

Lucifer "Oh wow that's... That's not even close-"

God "Are you going to take the message or not?"

Lucifer "Yes yes what is it..."

God "Tell him that I'm going to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah... Just... raze that place to the ground..."

Lucifer "OH! HOLY SHIT THAT IS AWES-"

God "And take Michael with you."

Michael "Hello." 😇

Lucifer "You ruined it immediately... This cage sucks..."

by Hym Iam February 23, 2023

The cage

Yep, there's a part 3..... And probably 4... I don't know... I might do a whole biblical series...

Lucifer "You're STILL in the cage!?"

God "Yup... It's pretty good man. I can see how there's, like, an infinite number of ways this can be done. But, yeah... It takes a minute..."

Lucifer "What... IS all this?"

God "Mm? That? I made some orbs."

Lucifer "Orbs? Really? What is the point of all that?"

God "What do you mean? It's orbs."

Lucifer 🤦 "Tsk! I heard you the first time but WHY ORBS? Why not cubes or pyramids or something?"

God "Oh, no. No... I got some pyramids in there... They grow on the orbs sometimes... And, like, cubes will end up looking like orbs when you spin them, kind of... So... Just orbs..."

Lucifer 😮 💨 "Ok... Sure. The orbs grow pyramids. Wait... Did you TRY cubes already?"

God 😳 "..... No."

Lucifer 😑 "....... So... What ARE they? What are they made of?"

God "Oh! A bunch of stuff man! You got your Helium... Hydrogen... Nitrogen... Mercury... Um, Barium... Er, is barium a thing? Yeah... Yeah that sounds like a thing... Barium..."

Lucifer "THAT'S JUST A BUNCH OF GIBBERISH!"

God "I mean I have to call them somethi- Hey, don't! Don't touch that one! That one's hot."

Lucifer 🤨 "They're HOT orbs that spin?"

God "Pfft! No! That would be stupid! Only the hot ones are hot... Silly..." 😁

Lucifer 🤦 "Oh my... You... I am becoming frustrated... With you.... Now..."

by Hym Iam February 15, 2023

A Jesus

Remember how I was all "I'm closer to Jesus than you'll ever be" and now I'm like this celibate whipping boy who's being ritualistically cannibalized as a result of my perceived guilt? Yeah...

Hym "Right again about be a Jesus."

by Hym Iam May 28, 2023

Secure borders

Doesn't actually save lives.

Hym "It'll change where some of the crime happens and it prevents people from improving the quality of their lives. I mean, you think if you actually cared about hard work you'd consider how much harder it is to physically come here and provide for yourself than it is to get shit out of a pussyhole but, hey. Either way, secure borders DON'T save lives. Laken Riley would have just been a random Mexican girl you wouldn't have had to hear about instead. And THAT is what you care about."

by Hym Iam January 23, 2025

Bald

Your hair fled your scalp to escape the smell of your shit for brains.

Hym "Bwahahahahaha! AHA! Bald! Baaaaaaaaaald!"

by Hym Iam December 30, 2024

Coalitional Strategy

Yeah Dawg. That's totally what you're doing to me. You and your secular incest cult friends. Or as I like to call them "Book Jews" as they are Jews and write books. And you can eat a dick Jews.

Hym "Right? It's the ancient Jew coalitional strategy! But it won't work on me because nobody is going to sacrifice their lives or risk the lives to force me (by way of economic coercion) to be pro-Jew or neutral. I'm anti-semitic now! I demanded Sarah Silverman and/or Gal Gadot and the jews failed to deliver! And thus, jews bad! Joooos bad! And so is the incest cult! If the Jews are going to be complicit in the violation of the rights of an American citizen they need to be deported back to Israel. Chant it with me guys! Back to Israel Jew! Back to Israel Jew! It's not very catch but it's what needs to happen here! No more American teenage girls for Jerry Seinfeld!"

by Hym Iam February 4, 2025

Mastery

The Tao of Jeet Kune Do posits that before you learn how to punch, a punch is just a punch. Once you learn how to punch, a punch is more than just a punch. Once you have mastered the punch, it becomes just a punch once again. This rumination about the concept of mastery can be applied to many things and is a useful tool for self reflection.

Hym "If you believe that the book is more than a book, then this is evidence that you have not achieved mastery (according to the tenet posited by Jeet Kune Do). Yet, somehow, you are making the rules for both of us while simultaneously exempting yourself from rules whenever it convenient."

by Hym Iam July 25, 2022